The example you cited is not helping make your point. There is no responsibility on the man's side. He was spending too much time to himself and had a hands-off approach to raising the children. I cannot help but side with the woman in question. Raising children is an incredibly arduous and thankless job (depending on the phase). It is the woman's job to make a house a home, nurture her family, and to rear the young. It is a husband's job to provide and make his wife feel loved and supported. The blow-up in question should have never gotten to that point and it may not have had the husband been more empathetic towards his wife. I reserve the option of changing my opinion should the man's side be represented.
Sometimes I ponder the fact that if I had been a Christian during my first marriage (which I blew up after 24 years), what life would have been like, and I know I may have found a way to make it work. My husband was a lapsed Catholic and resisted any pursuit of “finding a faith” on my part. This writing REALLY hit home. Years of simmering resentment boiled me down.
But because God is perfect and has known me before he knit me in my mother’s womb, he led me to a man post-divorce who was integral in my becoming a Christian. We have been married 5+ years and it is so easy.
Thank you Father for working all things together for good (because I love you!) according to your purpose.
When she nukes the marriage it’s usually his fault. Hard truth. Never seen a woman end things with the man who still has fire in his balls and is taking daily swings and punches.
What this story demonstrates is that people are going into marriages without good communication skills. Was there an ongoing conversation about his role in the family after work and on weekends? Was there a discussion about his man cave? Or was it just waiting for the pot to boil and then having a fit?
My opinion as a 60s aged man and a husband of almost 30 years: many (but not all) women hear their biological clock ticking and latch on to the nearest man showing interest. Once the kids have been born and the clock has been satisfied, they discover there is no passion like they remember as a young girl. They expect their husbands to become someone else and when they don’t, the fireworks start.
Certainly the men do many things to sabotage marriages and whole columns (and books) have been written on it. But for the current column focusing on the wives who blow up their marriages, I’d urge you to really think about what your expectations are for your husband. As an earlier commenter mentioned, men will take the abuse for a long time, but at some point a line will be crossed and then there will be no going back. You will have severed the relationship forever. Really and truly be honest with yourself and be 100% sure it’s what you want before throwing out ultimatums.
As someone who likes the idea of marriage but was avoiding it partly because I had heard this statistic I'm very glad I read this article. Looking more closely at them it turns out it's very nuanced. There's a *massive* divide across races as well as generations.
Hmmmmmm. Not sure about this one but I do think the stars on divorces among the secular world and the Christian world are probably correct. Funny tho that Christians can’t understand why anyone man or woman or child would seek to blow up whatever is good in their life. It has more to do with the adversary of our souls then the difference between the sexes cultures ages etc etc. I would say that anyone without Christ is under the sway of the wicked one who constantly strikes our ego while stoking the flames of hell. So yes sure congrats to all those Christian couples I think even as Christians you have to struggle and fight for your marriages and your families but let’s please not put blame on one “ side” or the other. I think we need to have compassion and understanding realizing that the core problem whether it surfaces as addictions or problems in relationships etc etc the root of it is people who are lost without hope and faith and do not know Christ
The expectation of equality in a relationship is the relationship killer. As a mother of 2 teenage boys, it is crystal clear that boys are NOT growing into women.
They, from the beginning, are into strength, machines, competition - boy shit.
Young girls need to learn what to expect.
I do teach the boys how to help out, to cook, to clean, to take care of the other when sick - and they are able but it is not their 'wheel house'.
I also teach them that it is their full responsibility to work and support a family financially, to find a woman who will make a good mother and run a household (since clearly they are not suited for the role). They are very happy with the 'bread winner' idea, even look forward to it.
Men and women were designed to operate in different spheres.
Yes, more 'responsibilities' for males. Responsibility to females and their culture.
What responsibilities do girls and women have in our feminist nations? They live lives as first-class citizens yet imagine to themselves and to one another that they are mistreated and 'oppressed'. Their societies place no responsibilities and consequences upon them. Responsibility and consequences are for men and boys.
All I'm keeping forward that... woman's do mess when they put too much significance over their emotional calling...but if she could be able to hold her for a moment(ideologically) and reflect upon her next steps... there're highly chances she would be able to grasp her dual-personality disorder and things can end up on some other notes(most probably something very practical approach towards her life alongside leads others life as well).
I considered posting a reply, but after reading some of the comments, I wonder how many others reconsidered that action and decided not to touch this thread with a ten foot pole.
There’s so much shit on Substack today.
The example you cited is not helping make your point. There is no responsibility on the man's side. He was spending too much time to himself and had a hands-off approach to raising the children. I cannot help but side with the woman in question. Raising children is an incredibly arduous and thankless job (depending on the phase). It is the woman's job to make a house a home, nurture her family, and to rear the young. It is a husband's job to provide and make his wife feel loved and supported. The blow-up in question should have never gotten to that point and it may not have had the husband been more empathetic towards his wife. I reserve the option of changing my opinion should the man's side be represented.
That White Knight nonsense is why you fail with women.
I've been happily married for 8 years 🤣 lmao
Sometimes I ponder the fact that if I had been a Christian during my first marriage (which I blew up after 24 years), what life would have been like, and I know I may have found a way to make it work. My husband was a lapsed Catholic and resisted any pursuit of “finding a faith” on my part. This writing REALLY hit home. Years of simmering resentment boiled me down.
But because God is perfect and has known me before he knit me in my mother’s womb, he led me to a man post-divorce who was integral in my becoming a Christian. We have been married 5+ years and it is so easy.
Thank you Father for working all things together for good (because I love you!) according to your purpose.
Islam is right about women… hence the tight control they enact to tame their bad behaviors. Perhaps the West should burka up
For me, if I nuke my marriage, it will be so that I don’t have to deal with another adult as a partner. I like myself just fine
When she nukes the marriage it’s usually his fault. Hard truth. Never seen a woman end things with the man who still has fire in his balls and is taking daily swings and punches.
Men are in love. Women are in business. That’s why I will never get married. Why enter into a contract where one side is incentivized to break it?
Divorce-rape is a real thing and the anti-family courts absolutely hate men!
What this story demonstrates is that people are going into marriages without good communication skills. Was there an ongoing conversation about his role in the family after work and on weekends? Was there a discussion about his man cave? Or was it just waiting for the pot to boil and then having a fit?
My opinion as a 60s aged man and a husband of almost 30 years: many (but not all) women hear their biological clock ticking and latch on to the nearest man showing interest. Once the kids have been born and the clock has been satisfied, they discover there is no passion like they remember as a young girl. They expect their husbands to become someone else and when they don’t, the fireworks start.
Certainly the men do many things to sabotage marriages and whole columns (and books) have been written on it. But for the current column focusing on the wives who blow up their marriages, I’d urge you to really think about what your expectations are for your husband. As an earlier commenter mentioned, men will take the abuse for a long time, but at some point a line will be crossed and then there will be no going back. You will have severed the relationship forever. Really and truly be honest with yourself and be 100% sure it’s what you want before throwing out ultimatums.
Correct! That 50% divorce data keeps getting quoted but it’s not true.
As someone who likes the idea of marriage but was avoiding it partly because I had heard this statistic I'm very glad I read this article. Looking more closely at them it turns out it's very nuanced. There's a *massive* divide across races as well as generations.
https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/divorce-statistics/
Yes! 👍🏻
Hmmmmmm. Not sure about this one but I do think the stars on divorces among the secular world and the Christian world are probably correct. Funny tho that Christians can’t understand why anyone man or woman or child would seek to blow up whatever is good in their life. It has more to do with the adversary of our souls then the difference between the sexes cultures ages etc etc. I would say that anyone without Christ is under the sway of the wicked one who constantly strikes our ego while stoking the flames of hell. So yes sure congrats to all those Christian couples I think even as Christians you have to struggle and fight for your marriages and your families but let’s please not put blame on one “ side” or the other. I think we need to have compassion and understanding realizing that the core problem whether it surfaces as addictions or problems in relationships etc etc the root of it is people who are lost without hope and faith and do not know Christ
The expectation of equality in a relationship is the relationship killer. As a mother of 2 teenage boys, it is crystal clear that boys are NOT growing into women.
They, from the beginning, are into strength, machines, competition - boy shit.
Young girls need to learn what to expect.
I do teach the boys how to help out, to cook, to clean, to take care of the other when sick - and they are able but it is not their 'wheel house'.
I also teach them that it is their full responsibility to work and support a family financially, to find a woman who will make a good mother and run a household (since clearly they are not suited for the role). They are very happy with the 'bread winner' idea, even look forward to it.
Men and women were designed to operate in different spheres.
Yes, more 'responsibilities' for males. Responsibility to females and their culture.
What responsibilities do girls and women have in our feminist nations? They live lives as first-class citizens yet imagine to themselves and to one another that they are mistreated and 'oppressed'. Their societies place no responsibilities and consequences upon them. Responsibility and consequences are for men and boys.
Vile skank of a nation.
All I'm keeping forward that... woman's do mess when they put too much significance over their emotional calling...but if she could be able to hold her for a moment(ideologically) and reflect upon her next steps... there're highly chances she would be able to grasp her dual-personality disorder and things can end up on some other notes(most probably something very practical approach towards her life alongside leads others life as well).
I considered posting a reply, but after reading some of the comments, I wonder how many others reconsidered that action and decided not to touch this thread with a ten foot pole.
My friend Robert has had terrible luck with women. His first wife left him, and (even worse) his second wife won’t.
I don’t understand why a secular person would engage in marriage. Marriage is a reflection of Christ and His Bride, the church.