Everyone is going to see the story from their own life experience, it’s not necessarily narcissism.
All people need a break, the man working his rear end off at the office and the woman working her rear end off raising 3 kids and doing household chores. Doesn’t mean you get one, but in this story the man did get regular breaks in his man cave. No, men aren’t mind readers but he was retreating into his man cave partly because something was wrong. He retreated rather than confronting the issue by talking with his wife to find out what was amiss. A man who leads his household does this, he leads and loves his wife as Christ loves the church. But this man doesn’t know that because they aren’t Bible believers. She was right about the need for communicating.
So sad. Shame she couldn’t express herself in a way to be heard. But he also has to take accountability. Hence the lesson of not holding onto resentment but speaking it as it comes up.
If you trust the hard scientific evidence for divorced females ... they have nothing but enemies left ... especially their "friends" who convinced her it is "time to trade up baby and go on your journey but first shave your hair to the skull."
The divorced woman has elite young males out to hit her and quit her after ugly pornographic sex in which her age means she has to take it any way he dishes it out including toilet sports. It never occurs to them their husband did not make them do any of this stuff, forcing them to deep throat a toilet brush or bark like a dog.
Nothing but enemies and now not even a man who will protect her. No companion, just a long gang-bang line stretching out to the horizon that dumps her on a corner in a potato sack when they are done with her. One day she catches a glance in a storefront window as she walks hope post-coitus weeping and sees a 70 year old hag in a negligee looking back at her.
This is the final stage of feminism and it ain't pretty.
... but my ex-wife has also encountered other problems as well.
What do you think the woman should have done about her perception of unequal workload? I would have advised her to share her feelings with her husband earlier before the resentment built up. My Alpha husband will help me with childcare and things if I ask for help, like recently when I had the flu. Yes he did grumble a bit towards the end (the toddler may have slipped in the bath as well!) but he was there for me when I needed him and I love him all the more for it.
I think that the omnipresent pressure of social media has caused exponentially increased angst amongst women these days. They’re constantly messaged that in order to be a good feminist they need to give all of themselves to the cause no matter what that cause may be. And the ladies are especially willing to succumb to this societal pressure due to their desire for public adulation. In this case it’s super easy to achieve this adulation in the form of activism and emoting in your profile.
They don’t want to fear cast out. Their parasocial world becomes reality and just like with the pressures of the sewing circle they begin to resent their good life in the belief that they’re cheated out of what they see and n SM.
SM and individualism pushed by modern day feminism also convince ladies that their own perception of their value as a partner is or should be (as a matter of “fairness”) how men also perceive them. In other words, the high empathy movement has an obese women in her fifties believing she’s actually a 10.
Lastly, their parasocial world shows them luxury lifestyles of the 2%. Every man is wealthy, handsome and jet-setting. They’re all chasing that alpha, that 2% male earner as a regular-ass divorced 50 year old. Guess what - no chance. Those top 2% males are also being chased by much younger women. Sure, you’re gonna get laid all the time but you’re also gonna be doing the walk of shame all the time with no end in sight.
If you married a man while you were young and hot and you leave him for some nonsensical self discovery at 50, or worse yet “to find better.” You’re screwed.
I will say this. I was a stay at home father for just over two years. And it was an incredibly would stripping life. Children don’t care about the fact you are/were a CEO. They don’t care you may have been a successful leader in combat. You wake, you change the kid. You feed the kid. The kid often completely tosses your attempts to all those things, in the trash. You lose who you are because you’re 100% servant.
If everything that you attach yourself too outside your family is messaging that marriage is slavery, “you could be traveling the world as part of the laptop class,” you could be sipping cocktails on business trips as a lady boss… you will sink deeper and deeper into a very dark space.
My mother and mothers I knew growing up had family as their focus. They loved their children no matter what. And God was generally at the center of this social contract, or at the very least the value of life and motherhood. They were also objectively more serious people. I can’t recall a women at 45 when I was growing up ever attending a concert as if she were a teenager. I think modern feminism, with its messaging of female supremacy and zero penalties has also infantilized women.
Needless to say, the pressure on women are immense but also obvious. There needs to be a strong women’s voice that convicts women of their current state of narcissism. A national grandmother that rips the roses colored glasses off the faces of this generation and calls it like it is.
The example you cited is not helping make your point. There is no responsibility on the man's side. He was spending too much time to himself and had a hands-off approach to raising the children. I cannot help but side with the woman in question. Raising children is an incredibly arduous and thankless job (depending on the phase). It is the woman's job to make a house a home, nurture her family, and to rear the young. It is a husband's job to provide and make his wife feel loved and supported. The blow-up in question should have never gotten to that point and it may not have had the husband been more empathetic towards his wife. I reserve the option of changing my opinion should the man's side be represented.
Sometimes I ponder the fact that if I had been a Christian during my first marriage (which I blew up after 24 years), what life would have been like, and I know I may have found a way to make it work. My husband was a lapsed Catholic and resisted any pursuit of “finding a faith” on my part. This writing REALLY hit home. Years of simmering resentment boiled me down.
But because God is perfect and has known me before he knit me in my mother’s womb, he led me to a man post-divorce who was integral in my becoming a Christian. We have been married 5+ years and it is so easy.
Thank you Father for working all things together for good (because I love you!) according to your purpose.
What this story demonstrates is that people are going into marriages without good communication skills. Was there an ongoing conversation about his role in the family after work and on weekends? Was there a discussion about his man cave? Or was it just waiting for the pot to boil and then having a fit?
My opinion as a 60s aged man and a husband of almost 30 years: many (but not all) women hear their biological clock ticking and latch on to the nearest man showing interest. Once the kids have been born and the clock has been satisfied, they discover there is no passion like they remember as a young girl. They expect their husbands to become someone else and when they don’t, the fireworks start.
Certainly the men do many things to sabotage marriages and whole columns (and books) have been written on it. But for the current column focusing on the wives who blow up their marriages, I’d urge you to really think about what your expectations are for your husband. As an earlier commenter mentioned, men will take the abuse for a long time, but at some point a line will be crossed and then there will be no going back. You will have severed the relationship forever. Really and truly be honest with yourself and be 100% sure it’s what you want before throwing out ultimatums.
Everyone is going to see the story from their own life experience, it’s not necessarily narcissism.
All people need a break, the man working his rear end off at the office and the woman working her rear end off raising 3 kids and doing household chores. Doesn’t mean you get one, but in this story the man did get regular breaks in his man cave. No, men aren’t mind readers but he was retreating into his man cave partly because something was wrong. He retreated rather than confronting the issue by talking with his wife to find out what was amiss. A man who leads his household does this, he leads and loves his wife as Christ loves the church. But this man doesn’t know that because they aren’t Bible believers. She was right about the need for communicating.
So sad. Shame she couldn’t express herself in a way to be heard. But he also has to take accountability. Hence the lesson of not holding onto resentment but speaking it as it comes up.
Brilliant post, brilliant Substack! Thank you!
Can vouch for all this as a gal.
If you trust the hard scientific evidence for divorced females ... they have nothing but enemies left ... especially their "friends" who convinced her it is "time to trade up baby and go on your journey but first shave your hair to the skull."
The divorced woman has elite young males out to hit her and quit her after ugly pornographic sex in which her age means she has to take it any way he dishes it out including toilet sports. It never occurs to them their husband did not make them do any of this stuff, forcing them to deep throat a toilet brush or bark like a dog.
Nothing but enemies and now not even a man who will protect her. No companion, just a long gang-bang line stretching out to the horizon that dumps her on a corner in a potato sack when they are done with her. One day she catches a glance in a storefront window as she walks hope post-coitus weeping and sees a 70 year old hag in a negligee looking back at her.
This is the final stage of feminism and it ain't pretty.
... but my ex-wife has also encountered other problems as well.
Banned for atheist retardery. Literally no one asked your opinion.
What do you think the woman should have done about her perception of unequal workload? I would have advised her to share her feelings with her husband earlier before the resentment built up. My Alpha husband will help me with childcare and things if I ask for help, like recently when I had the flu. Yes he did grumble a bit towards the end (the toddler may have slipped in the bath as well!) but he was there for me when I needed him and I love him all the more for it.
Get over it. Is she helping him out with a similarly equitable share of the family income?
As a general rule, women's perception of inequality only runs one way.
She could have communicated something to the man, like a functional adult would do. Men are really amazing, but they are not mind readers.
You're clearly too retarded to participate here.
You asked: "What do you think the woman should have done about her perception of unequal workload?"
I answered: "Get over it."
And you're such a retarded narcissist that you appealed to your own emotions. Banned.
I think that the omnipresent pressure of social media has caused exponentially increased angst amongst women these days. They’re constantly messaged that in order to be a good feminist they need to give all of themselves to the cause no matter what that cause may be. And the ladies are especially willing to succumb to this societal pressure due to their desire for public adulation. In this case it’s super easy to achieve this adulation in the form of activism and emoting in your profile.
They don’t want to fear cast out. Their parasocial world becomes reality and just like with the pressures of the sewing circle they begin to resent their good life in the belief that they’re cheated out of what they see and n SM.
SM and individualism pushed by modern day feminism also convince ladies that their own perception of their value as a partner is or should be (as a matter of “fairness”) how men also perceive them. In other words, the high empathy movement has an obese women in her fifties believing she’s actually a 10.
Lastly, their parasocial world shows them luxury lifestyles of the 2%. Every man is wealthy, handsome and jet-setting. They’re all chasing that alpha, that 2% male earner as a regular-ass divorced 50 year old. Guess what - no chance. Those top 2% males are also being chased by much younger women. Sure, you’re gonna get laid all the time but you’re also gonna be doing the walk of shame all the time with no end in sight.
If you married a man while you were young and hot and you leave him for some nonsensical self discovery at 50, or worse yet “to find better.” You’re screwed.
I will say this. I was a stay at home father for just over two years. And it was an incredibly would stripping life. Children don’t care about the fact you are/were a CEO. They don’t care you may have been a successful leader in combat. You wake, you change the kid. You feed the kid. The kid often completely tosses your attempts to all those things, in the trash. You lose who you are because you’re 100% servant.
If everything that you attach yourself too outside your family is messaging that marriage is slavery, “you could be traveling the world as part of the laptop class,” you could be sipping cocktails on business trips as a lady boss… you will sink deeper and deeper into a very dark space.
My mother and mothers I knew growing up had family as their focus. They loved their children no matter what. And God was generally at the center of this social contract, or at the very least the value of life and motherhood. They were also objectively more serious people. I can’t recall a women at 45 when I was growing up ever attending a concert as if she were a teenager. I think modern feminism, with its messaging of female supremacy and zero penalties has also infantilized women.
Needless to say, the pressure on women are immense but also obvious. There needs to be a strong women’s voice that convicts women of their current state of narcissism. A national grandmother that rips the roses colored glasses off the faces of this generation and calls it like it is.
There’s so much shit on Substack today.
The example you cited is not helping make your point. There is no responsibility on the man's side. He was spending too much time to himself and had a hands-off approach to raising the children. I cannot help but side with the woman in question. Raising children is an incredibly arduous and thankless job (depending on the phase). It is the woman's job to make a house a home, nurture her family, and to rear the young. It is a husband's job to provide and make his wife feel loved and supported. The blow-up in question should have never gotten to that point and it may not have had the husband been more empathetic towards his wife. I reserve the option of changing my opinion should the man's side be represented.
That White Knight nonsense is why you fail with women.
I've been happily married for 8 years 🤣 lmao
And when she leaves you, remember that you were warned.
Sometimes I ponder the fact that if I had been a Christian during my first marriage (which I blew up after 24 years), what life would have been like, and I know I may have found a way to make it work. My husband was a lapsed Catholic and resisted any pursuit of “finding a faith” on my part. This writing REALLY hit home. Years of simmering resentment boiled me down.
But because God is perfect and has known me before he knit me in my mother’s womb, he led me to a man post-divorce who was integral in my becoming a Christian. We have been married 5+ years and it is so easy.
Thank you Father for working all things together for good (because I love you!) according to your purpose.
Islam is right about women… hence the tight control they enact to tame their bad behaviors. Perhaps the West should burka up
For me, if I nuke my marriage, it will be so that I don’t have to deal with another adult as a partner. I like myself just fine
Men are in love. Women are in business. That’s why I will never get married. Why enter into a contract where one side is incentivized to break it?
Divorce-rape is a real thing and the anti-family courts absolutely hate men!
What this story demonstrates is that people are going into marriages without good communication skills. Was there an ongoing conversation about his role in the family after work and on weekends? Was there a discussion about his man cave? Or was it just waiting for the pot to boil and then having a fit?
My opinion as a 60s aged man and a husband of almost 30 years: many (but not all) women hear their biological clock ticking and latch on to the nearest man showing interest. Once the kids have been born and the clock has been satisfied, they discover there is no passion like they remember as a young girl. They expect their husbands to become someone else and when they don’t, the fireworks start.
Certainly the men do many things to sabotage marriages and whole columns (and books) have been written on it. But for the current column focusing on the wives who blow up their marriages, I’d urge you to really think about what your expectations are for your husband. As an earlier commenter mentioned, men will take the abuse for a long time, but at some point a line will be crossed and then there will be no going back. You will have severed the relationship forever. Really and truly be honest with yourself and be 100% sure it’s what you want before throwing out ultimatums.