My wife and I have been happily married for 24 years, but it still doesn't stop her from taking preemptive action against perceived competition. One night while having dinner with one of our neighbor friends--a younger, very attractive mother of our daughters' friends--out of nowhere, during a conversation totally unrelated to age, my wife somehow works in the fact to our neighbor that I'm technically old enough to be her father (she's 38, I'm 56). It was a weird moment, and I just gave my wife a sideways smile, and carried on with the conversation.
Thanks to Sigma Game, I was aware of what she was doing, so I didn't take it personally.
The best way to get a hottie is to pay attention to the second least attractive in the group (so it's not 100% obvious). after 15mins of being ignored the hottie usually throws herself onto you.
unattractive not full-blown fat chick then they think you've got a flabber fetish
Do you think it’s a good idea for Deltas to test their partners? If she isn’t jealous, might that be a cause for concern? Of course, she may simply trust you. But if she doesn’t see other women as potential competition what does that say about how she sees you?
My wife has never been particularly jealous but I was telling her about one of my subordinates at work - an attractive woman of Eastern European origin who is a similar age to us - and how she is our secret weapon because she has sons of the older men in the other departments wrapped around her finger.
My wife gave me a look that was not confrontational but suggested I had intentionally withheld that this colleague is physically attractive.
Of course women have a tendency to become more insecure about their beauty as they age so that was my takeaway from her reaction.
I was thinking more in terms of confirming that your partner still finds you attractive.
Delta’s generally prefer a quiet life and tend towards complacency.
Of course physical attractiveness fades but probably even more so in delta marriages.
I agree that it probably isn’t a good idea. Even an upper tier delta won’t be receiving enough female attention for his wife to be unduly worried. A delta wife can get away with simply keeping her husband in check without worrying about other women.
If you as a delta were part of the attractive 17%, then your girlfriend would have already witnessed other attractive women blatantly look your way, so you would have already dealt with a bout of jealousy or insecurity.
Basically, it's already happened, or it ain't gonna happen.
I’m not the jealous type and I’ve still done that. Chilling at a barbecue, my husband leaned back and put his hands behind his head. A lady there noticed his biceps. Part of me wanted to leap across the table and dot her eyes. He probably doesn’t even know that happened.
This will be another Thailand-related comment, which illustrates how the competitive environment in Thailand is 180-degrees different from western countries.
This story takes place in a nightclub on Soi 11, a famous nightlife area in Bangkok. But first let's talk about American nightclubs.
In popular high-cover charge American nightclubs, house dancers are frequently employed to enhance the sexy energy and ambience. They'll dance on elevated platforms, in cages, or on the main DJ stage. As a customer, climbing onto a platform to dance with a house dancer is prohibited, and if you try to dance with her from the floor, it looks weird and she'll view you with bemused contempt, as will other girls in the club.
On this night I was with The Diplomat, an actual diplomat(non-American) I'd become fast friends with. A Gen-Xer like me, but slightly older, mid-50's, great salt-and-pepper hair, silver foxish. He also had the best people skills of anyone I've ever met.
So we enter the club, paying a $9 cover change that includes two drink tickets. We're led to a table beside a platform with a house grooving to the music--an absolute stunner.
This club had about 6-8 female house dancers and 2 male house dancers. They were dressed in skimpy outfits that resembled gold chain-mail armor. Love is a battlefield, after all.
The Diplomat immediately starts dancing with the house dancer on the platform beside us. He was going all out with his dance moves while she towered over him. I'm thinking how odd this looks, not how it's done in an American nightclub.
To my surprise, the girl gets off her platform, waves over another house-dancer girl to our table, and now everybody is dancing. The Diplomat amps it up by ordering a bucket of Soju bottles (Korean rice liquor). Shots start flowing. The other house girl seemed especially into me, play punching my shoulder and feeling up my muscles. I'd never had so much fun at a nightclub in my entire life as I did this night.
An interesting fact about the house dancer. She's a 27-year-old school teacher who worked on the weekends at the club for extra money. She made it clear she wasn't a working girl. There was no reluctance or hesitation on her part when her contact info was requested.
In general, Thailand is Easy Mode for men. America is Punisher Mode for men.
It's reversed for women. America is Easy Mode for woman. Thailand is Punisher Mode for women. Single western women seem to have mental breakdowns in Thailand, as they can't handle the change from Easy Mode to Punisher Mode. They make shrill, deranged, meltdown videos on youtube castigating western men and Thai women. As The Diplomat noted,"Western women can't compete with Thai women."
When western men experience the Easy Mode of Thailand, the mental response is,"I need to get the F out of the west ASAP." Hence, the rise of so-called passport bros.
You really aren't understanding the actual dynamics. You're simply practicing racial arbitrage. Thailand isn't easier for Thai men, it's easier for European men. It's understandable, but unfortunate, that men will destroy their genetic heritage in pursuit of 2-3 more points on the attraction scale, but that's one of the things that feminism + air travel hath wrought.
100% agree with you. The reason I investigated Thailand is that I was savagely stripped of a 17-year career for not taking the vaxx, so seeking options elsewhere.
You might want to revisit your legal options in your home country in light of these settlements now being paid out to people who were treated like you were.
Attorneys already rejected my case. I live in California, Los Angeles area. It had some the most draconian policies in the country. All the judges went along with it, even ruling against powerful police and fire unions.
I was living in CA three years ago and looking at other states to move to.
I also decided to leave the US as i couldn't find any city anywhere that didn't seem on the border of being a crime zone, or already was.
Things haven't gotten better since then. Hopefully the deportations will happen and the mass arrests will happen and i find spots that look worth it again.
The post was about the competitive environment. I drew a contrast between America and Thailand's competitive environment. It's relevant to the post.
The Diplomat is a delta. At a busy restaurant, there was a traffic jam. A guy told him to "move the F out of the way." He did not respond in an alpha way, as say, a Tony Soprano would respond.
I image Tony Soprano would've said,"Watch your mouth. We're in a foreign country, in a crowded restaurant, traffic jams happen." Followed by mafia-style double tap with hand to the rude person's face.
Wasn't there some dude with a hawk in myth, practically a committed relationship. Kinda chewed him up though. Hohum. Still waiting on the japanese making that infamous boulder into a waifu too.
More seriously, isn't it remarkable how awareness of problems like the hawkish gaze helps a lot?
Of course a man's gaze should be tamed, but that's easier said than done, and even appreciation of beauty rather than lust can set panic sirens off.
Though while some nerves is understandable and bearable, if she starts getting stabby, as hot as she probably is, best to give up and make those fears she has a reality.
Really when you get down to it, man or woman a lot of virtue is just a matter of caging the excesses of baseline behaviours.
A husband and wife are having dinner at a very fine restaurant when an absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who in the hell was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "She's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough. I want a divorce!"
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "But remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Jaguar in the garage, and no more yacht club. Not only that, but no more diamonds, no more credit card, and large bank account."
"But, he said, "The decision is all yours."
Just then, a mutual friend of theirs enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.
If you are part of the 17% where this happens all the time, you'll act normal, because you're used to it. Hell, if you're part of the 17%, then you're natural friend groups already have attractive women who are as attractive or more attractive than your wife/girlfriend, so she's used to it too.
Be unapologetically masculine. "Hey, I saw you looking at her!" "Yeah, I was, she has a nice butt. Don't you agree? Not as nice as yours though."
You establish that you are, in fact, a man that is attracted to women. You use the opportunity to assuage her fears by complimenting her. You don't panic and start blubbering and lying by pretending you didn't notice the chick with the nice butt, meaning you show self-assuredness. You get her on your team - now you can both appreciate attractive women as a pair, like a secret just between you two. She likely makes more effort into showing off her rear end since now she knows you like cute rear ends, which benefits you.
There's room for all sorts of wins there, as long as you play it right and don't sperg out.
You guys really need to stop answering questions on the basis of your theoretical knowledge. That is not at all how it works in reality.
It doesn't matter what you do or say, so long as you don't allow it to become a fight. Her behavior has nothing to do with you, it's all about her insecurities and competitiveness.
It's not all situations, but there's definitely a lot that are actually a chance for a win. Course, a lotta high status don't think of it like that, just comes like breathing.
Whatever about insecurity in women, it's never been attractive in men, and like they say of dogs and fear, women can smell it.
Ironically my ex-wife disliked my confidence and security and would complain about it constantly. With that said, she was an addict and had a lot of narcissistic traits like so many addicts do. Probably some commentary on how empty she felt inside.
I doubled my pledge so I could get two copies of Hypergamouse and two copies of Sigma Game. My brother has been having issues with his wife, and I’ve been listening to both of them. He’s an Alpha, and it’s astonishing how textbook their dynamic is. It’s like they’re unintentionally acting out the exact scenarios from the comics and the SSH theory—it’s uncanny!
Happy to hear that. For some reason too much time with women wears me out. Loved my dad with all his faults, but judged my mother more harshly. Weird me.
I just assumed that it is an outgrowth of our natural protective instincts. We are hyper aware, looking for possible threats in our surroundings, trying to protect our children and those we love. A man, as husband, father, and provider, is a very important resource. Losing him puts the everything in jeopardy.
Female anxiety about the chances of life is a survival trait selected for over time. Attempts to control the uncontrollable are sadly human. Women in recovery often times have a harder time with the whole serenity thing as a result. Their minds are full of worries that I am glad I am not full of.
Mencken said a misogynist is someone who hates women as much as they hate each other, which is why I could never be a misogynist. I’ve never been able to hate anyone that much.
My wife and I have been happily married for 24 years, but it still doesn't stop her from taking preemptive action against perceived competition. One night while having dinner with one of our neighbor friends--a younger, very attractive mother of our daughters' friends--out of nowhere, during a conversation totally unrelated to age, my wife somehow works in the fact to our neighbor that I'm technically old enough to be her father (she's 38, I'm 56). It was a weird moment, and I just gave my wife a sideways smile, and carried on with the conversation.
Thanks to Sigma Game, I was aware of what she was doing, so I didn't take it personally.
Reverse Gamma Induction: "My wife was jealous once three years ago, therefore I must be an Alpha!"
The uglification of female characters in video games no doubt is likely also the result of this phenomenon.
So true.
This reminds me of the couple in the last season of the White Lotus.
The best way to get a hottie is to pay attention to the second least attractive in the group (so it's not 100% obvious). after 15mins of being ignored the hottie usually throws herself onto you.
unattractive not full-blown fat chick then they think you've got a flabber fetish
Do you think it’s a good idea for Deltas to test their partners? If she isn’t jealous, might that be a cause for concern? Of course, she may simply trust you. But if she doesn’t see other women as potential competition what does that say about how she sees you?
These interactions can be informative.
My wife has never been particularly jealous but I was telling her about one of my subordinates at work - an attractive woman of Eastern European origin who is a similar age to us - and how she is our secret weapon because she has sons of the older men in the other departments wrapped around her finger.
My wife gave me a look that was not confrontational but suggested I had intentionally withheld that this colleague is physically attractive.
Of course women have a tendency to become more insecure about their beauty as they age so that was my takeaway from her reaction.
What will the test reveal and what is the Delta going to do about it?
I'm confused about what you'd want to find out with the test. It sounds like a mind game with nothing to win.
I was thinking more in terms of confirming that your partner still finds you attractive.
Delta’s generally prefer a quiet life and tend towards complacency.
Of course physical attractiveness fades but probably even more so in delta marriages.
I agree that it probably isn’t a good idea. Even an upper tier delta won’t be receiving enough female attention for his wife to be unduly worried. A delta wife can get away with simply keeping her husband in check without worrying about other women.
If you as a delta were part of the attractive 17%, then your girlfriend would have already witnessed other attractive women blatantly look your way, so you would have already dealt with a bout of jealousy or insecurity.
Basically, it's already happened, or it ain't gonna happen.
I’m not the jealous type and I’ve still done that. Chilling at a barbecue, my husband leaned back and put his hands behind his head. A lady there noticed his biceps. Part of me wanted to leap across the table and dot her eyes. He probably doesn’t even know that happened.
Can confirm. I had zero clue.
I'm Gen X and female and just learning some women have this fierce reaction.
At least the girls are classy enough not to give him looks while their boyfriends watch and become filled with rage and envy.
This will be another Thailand-related comment, which illustrates how the competitive environment in Thailand is 180-degrees different from western countries.
This story takes place in a nightclub on Soi 11, a famous nightlife area in Bangkok. But first let's talk about American nightclubs.
In popular high-cover charge American nightclubs, house dancers are frequently employed to enhance the sexy energy and ambience. They'll dance on elevated platforms, in cages, or on the main DJ stage. As a customer, climbing onto a platform to dance with a house dancer is prohibited, and if you try to dance with her from the floor, it looks weird and she'll view you with bemused contempt, as will other girls in the club.
On this night I was with The Diplomat, an actual diplomat(non-American) I'd become fast friends with. A Gen-Xer like me, but slightly older, mid-50's, great salt-and-pepper hair, silver foxish. He also had the best people skills of anyone I've ever met.
So we enter the club, paying a $9 cover change that includes two drink tickets. We're led to a table beside a platform with a house grooving to the music--an absolute stunner.
This club had about 6-8 female house dancers and 2 male house dancers. They were dressed in skimpy outfits that resembled gold chain-mail armor. Love is a battlefield, after all.
The Diplomat immediately starts dancing with the house dancer on the platform beside us. He was going all out with his dance moves while she towered over him. I'm thinking how odd this looks, not how it's done in an American nightclub.
To my surprise, the girl gets off her platform, waves over another house-dancer girl to our table, and now everybody is dancing. The Diplomat amps it up by ordering a bucket of Soju bottles (Korean rice liquor). Shots start flowing. The other house girl seemed especially into me, play punching my shoulder and feeling up my muscles. I'd never had so much fun at a nightclub in my entire life as I did this night.
An interesting fact about the house dancer. She's a 27-year-old school teacher who worked on the weekends at the club for extra money. She made it clear she wasn't a working girl. There was no reluctance or hesitation on her part when her contact info was requested.
In general, Thailand is Easy Mode for men. America is Punisher Mode for men.
It's reversed for women. America is Easy Mode for woman. Thailand is Punisher Mode for women. Single western women seem to have mental breakdowns in Thailand, as they can't handle the change from Easy Mode to Punisher Mode. They make shrill, deranged, meltdown videos on youtube castigating western men and Thai women. As The Diplomat noted,"Western women can't compete with Thai women."
When western men experience the Easy Mode of Thailand, the mental response is,"I need to get the F out of the west ASAP." Hence, the rise of so-called passport bros.
You really aren't understanding the actual dynamics. You're simply practicing racial arbitrage. Thailand isn't easier for Thai men, it's easier for European men. It's understandable, but unfortunate, that men will destroy their genetic heritage in pursuit of 2-3 more points on the attraction scale, but that's one of the things that feminism + air travel hath wrought.
I am starting to think that "the Diplomat" is code for something. wrist goes limp.
100% agree with you. The reason I investigated Thailand is that I was savagely stripped of a 17-year career for not taking the vaxx, so seeking options elsewhere.
You might want to revisit your legal options in your home country in light of these settlements now being paid out to people who were treated like you were.
Attorneys already rejected my case. I live in California, Los Angeles area. It had some the most draconian policies in the country. All the judges went along with it, even ruling against powerful police and fire unions.
There are many free states that you could have and still can move to instead of California. That state is basically a different country.
I was living in CA three years ago and looking at other states to move to.
I also decided to leave the US as i couldn't find any city anywhere that didn't seem on the border of being a crime zone, or already was.
Things haven't gotten better since then. Hopefully the deportations will happen and the mass arrests will happen and i find spots that look worth it again.
Wow, what a ride!!! Thank you for sharing.
Tldr, thailand women easy, american women hard.
What does it have to do with ssh though? Is your diplomat friend an alpha?
The post was about the competitive environment. I drew a contrast between America and Thailand's competitive environment. It's relevant to the post.
The Diplomat is a delta. At a busy restaurant, there was a traffic jam. A guy told him to "move the F out of the way." He did not respond in an alpha way, as say, a Tony Soprano would respond.
What is the Tony Soprano way in that context?
I image Tony Soprano would've said,"Watch your mouth. We're in a foreign country, in a crowded restaurant, traffic jams happen." Followed by mafia-style double tap with hand to the rude person's face.
In Jersey, we'd actually tell the guy to go fuck himself. But everyone there is mostly like that. Different world.
Why do you think anyone here cares about your experience with SE Asian hookers?
SSH is universal. Also, they're not all hookers. You don't need to buy drinks and dance and talk to hire working girls.
Okrahead = IQ of Okra?
Nobody is going to read this.
And you just did.
Thank you for the insightful comment.
I particularly enjoy your writing about the Diplomat.
Wasn't there some dude with a hawk in myth, practically a committed relationship. Kinda chewed him up though. Hohum. Still waiting on the japanese making that infamous boulder into a waifu too.
More seriously, isn't it remarkable how awareness of problems like the hawkish gaze helps a lot?
Of course a man's gaze should be tamed, but that's easier said than done, and even appreciation of beauty rather than lust can set panic sirens off.
Though while some nerves is understandable and bearable, if she starts getting stabby, as hot as she probably is, best to give up and make those fears she has a reality.
Really when you get down to it, man or woman a lot of virtue is just a matter of caging the excesses of baseline behaviours.
Ladyhawke was an underrated film.
Women love a dude who becomes a wolf at night, Vox knows all about this from the last stream with Jon.
Probably not what those books were about...
Ladyhawke is one of those films whose sum is way better than the messy parts.
It's just such a strong premise.
A girlfriend used point them out to me: “hey - look at that one!”
It took me a while to realize she always noticed them before I did, but I knew nothing of the SSH back then.
That is so true. But how do we handle it? Dont interact with other women or walk on our toes? Thats not easy. They should trust us.
A husband and wife are having dinner at a very fine restaurant when an absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who in the hell was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "She's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough. I want a divorce!"
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "But remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Jaguar in the garage, and no more yacht club. Not only that, but no more diamonds, no more credit card, and large bank account."
"But, he said, "The decision is all yours."
Just then, a mutual friend of theirs enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.
"Who's that woman with Bobby?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says the husband.
"Ours is prettier," she replies !
Low-status question. If you have to ask, don't worry about it. Be happy that she cares enough to be jealous.
If you are part of the 17% where this happens all the time, you'll act normal, because you're used to it. Hell, if you're part of the 17%, then you're natural friend groups already have attractive women who are as attractive or more attractive than your wife/girlfriend, so she's used to it too.
Be unapologetically masculine. "Hey, I saw you looking at her!" "Yeah, I was, she has a nice butt. Don't you agree? Not as nice as yours though."
You establish that you are, in fact, a man that is attracted to women. You use the opportunity to assuage her fears by complimenting her. You don't panic and start blubbering and lying by pretending you didn't notice the chick with the nice butt, meaning you show self-assuredness. You get her on your team - now you can both appreciate attractive women as a pair, like a secret just between you two. She likely makes more effort into showing off her rear end since now she knows you like cute rear ends, which benefits you.
There's room for all sorts of wins there, as long as you play it right and don't sperg out.
You guys really need to stop answering questions on the basis of your theoretical knowledge. That is not at all how it works in reality.
It doesn't matter what you do or say, so long as you don't allow it to become a fight. Her behavior has nothing to do with you, it's all about her insecurities and competitiveness.
"It's not about you" is one of those recovery mantras.
It's not all situations, but there's definitely a lot that are actually a chance for a win. Course, a lotta high status don't think of it like that, just comes like breathing.
Whatever about insecurity in women, it's never been attractive in men, and like they say of dogs and fear, women can smell it.
Ironically my ex-wife disliked my confidence and security and would complain about it constantly. With that said, she was an addict and had a lot of narcissistic traits like so many addicts do. Probably some commentary on how empty she felt inside.
Act normal. Tell them they are acting poorly when they flip out.
I doubled my pledge so I could get two copies of Hypergamouse and two copies of Sigma Game. My brother has been having issues with his wife, and I’ve been listening to both of them. He’s an Alpha, and it’s astonishing how textbook their dynamic is. It’s like they’re unintentionally acting out the exact scenarios from the comics and the SSH theory—it’s uncanny!
Sometimes I wonder why God created us as companion for man. Often brewing more trouble tan benefit.
I'd hate to exist in a world without women. The good ones fill a man's life with beauty, meaning and purpose.
Motivation. And you keep us from getting bored and listless, which we tend to do without the chaotic dynamism of women in our lives.
Happy to hear that. For some reason too much time with women wears me out. Loved my dad with all his faults, but judged my mother more harshly. Weird me.
I just assumed that it is an outgrowth of our natural protective instincts. We are hyper aware, looking for possible threats in our surroundings, trying to protect our children and those we love. A man, as husband, father, and provider, is a very important resource. Losing him puts the everything in jeopardy.
Female anxiety about the chances of life is a survival trait selected for over time. Attempts to control the uncontrollable are sadly human. Women in recovery often times have a harder time with the whole serenity thing as a result. Their minds are full of worries that I am glad I am not full of.
To be fair, who knows what man and woman would have been like had that serpentine encounter gone down differently.
Still think losing the rib was worth it though. Think of how much propaganda it's taken to get the pair separated.
Made for each other.
"Made for each other" isn't quite accurate. Woman was made for man, but man was not made for woman.
It’s quite challenging to argue that God didn’t know what He was going to do…
Wouldn't have a next generation without you ladies. And he made you cute.
Theres your reason.
Were not here for an easy ride.
Mencken said a misogynist is someone who hates women as much as they hate each other, which is why I could never be a misogynist. I’ve never been able to hate anyone that much.
I've never felt jealousy or hate for another woman, or man. Anger, frustration, disappointment, pained, I have.