Good grief, this is my father to a T. He’s always got a better way, and wants you to know about it. Comes in my shop and rearranges everything “better”, despite his own shop being an utter disaster. And he wonders why he’s the troublemaker at every job, church, and organization he’s been in. He’s in his 70s now, and very bitter. I love him, but sometimes I really don’t like him.
I understand why 6.(b) is on there, but that is inevitably going to be misinterpreted by the Gamma and the engineer/computer science type, not to mention that offering an opinion for something that cannot possibly work is often going to be ignored anyway.
But I suppose the small percentage of people who will actually listen to an opinion given in a 6.(b) scenario will benefit, and the other segment will at least find you more credible and be more likely to listen in the future.
There's a difference between helping and interfering. Some people are too stubborn/stupid/ proud/incompetent etc to ask for help. A simple "You need a hand?" or "Are you OK with that?" might be needed.
If you are trying to make people think you are really smart, your default response to most things should just be, “hmm.” If they want to know what you think, they will ask after the hmm.
Recently, a pair of deltas took it upon themselves to change the presets on a piece of equipment that they had little knowledge of apart from pressing the power button, because they thought the preset looked "wrong". They had been told explicitly not to fiddle with it and to only press the power button. They happily told everyone on the company forum that they had changed the settings and that no one should touch them, since they were now correct. The delta responsible for it ran to check it when he read their post, but it was too late. It broke within minutes of use, and it was maaaybe 2 months old.
There were even stickers on the controls (literally on the buttons and knobs) that said "do not touch". The previous set broke for the same reason, and it also had stickers, and everyone had been given hands on instruction on how to use it (literally, press power button - done). The next set gets a damn cage.
Why do deltas such as these think rules and literal warning labels don't apply to them?
Because they don't know what they don't know. They exist in a little knowledge silo and it doesn't occur to them that anything exists beyond the walls of their domain.
When my husband used to work in aerospace one of the guys lost his hands because someone didn't think the lock out/tag out process applied to him and re-engaged the power on a machine while the tech was still elbows deep in it. All of those light curtains and other failsafe devices in manufacturing exist to counteract delta narcissism.
"They exist in a little knowledge silo and it doesn't occur to them that anything exists beyond the walls of their domain."
That rings true.
Observably, many have very strong opinions about things where they lack both rudimentary context and necessary basic information, such the whole "Russia bad, Ukraine good" thing, despite barely being able to point out Ukraine on a map, let alone the Donbas. It seems that particular tendency has the same root, yes?
"All of those light curtains and other failsafe devices in manufacturing exist to counteract delta narcissism."
In the same vein as "I am very competent at a thing and therefore I am competent at all things"? That would then lead to "the rules don't apply to me", "my bosses are stupid" and "things would be better if everyone just listened to me"?
The lack of context is the main trouble, combined with their absolute ignorance that there is any context to lack. They are smart and competent in their own domains and apply that "I know what I'm doing" attitude to everything else, sometimes leading to tragedy.
Some people have stupid bosses who say a when they mean b. Now, you can just comply and watch your stupid boss burn it all down but a lot of people really dont want to do that. Sometimes theyre even right! That said “it’s not your job”
This reminds of how maddening it is when a software developer puts out the kind of update that either changes things just to change things (it was ugly, we made it look nicer! Plus we hid all those menus, and you didn't really need to be able to format text...), or just does a radical redesign of something that worked just fine before. I usually assume that either someone needs to justify their phoneybaloney job (appearance changes), or else a developer was allowed to run loose with "innovative" ideas to revolutionize a formerly perfectly functional application.
Microsofts modus operandi since i started in the workforce. Excel has had maybe 1-2 genuine updates since excel 2003. Almost everything else is worse. Outlook in particular is useless now.
Like the time a Delta/Gamma mix guy found out we had an apple mac, which we only bought coz another friend spent months telling me how much better they are...
He installed all these short cuts where you move the cursor to bottom right it turned whatever on.Bottom left turn that thing on etc to the point that it was so annoying to use (yes even worse than a Mac is) and we couldn't figure out how to turn them off so we had to factory reset.
Now every time somebody tells me "oh Macs are so much better once you learn all the short cuts".. I tell them to F off
I always tried my best to practice not helping in undergrad, especially when interacting with my peers who were not academically gifted. More than once I would hear someone say they would “knock it out real quick” before the deadline about a project that they never in a million years could do in less than a week. I always kept my mouth shut and never offered warnings or advice, even though I knew they were saying impossible things, because 1) I wasn’t trying to garner resentment among my classmates, and 2) Yapping incessantly about how someone else is doing their work badly would actually distract me from doing well in my own.
Gammas (and probably women) who become Subject Matter Experts in grammar learn the Rules and internalize following them as part of their core identity. When someone else "breaks" the rules, it sets up an internal OCD-type conflict that can only be resolved by blurting out the correct application of the Rule.
I've observed those people are generally just a little more intelligent than average. In the language of the SSH it's a solipsistic way to change the conversation to themselves. It's an attempt to assert their delusion bubble that they are smarter than you. It's sad, but if you don't have the chops and can't contribute something unique and substantive then there's this. Essentially everyone will deviate from school standard eventually. Never mind that it is the nature of language to constantly evolve.
God save me from helpers. I had to institute a rule on each project: “Do it the way I want it done and if it goes wrong it will be my fault and not yours “. Along with: “All suggestions are welcome but don’t expect them to be followed “. Sadly, I have to repeat these instructions over and over again.
When handing off tasks, if it must be done your way, DICTATE SO. Otherwise, state the desired end result, don't care about the how, and grade mercilessly on that end result.
Good grief, this is my father to a T. He’s always got a better way, and wants you to know about it. Comes in my shop and rearranges everything “better”, despite his own shop being an utter disaster. And he wonders why he’s the troublemaker at every job, church, and organization he’s been in. He’s in his 70s now, and very bitter. I love him, but sometimes I really don’t like him.
Reaction #1: "Hahaha! What an idiot! MPAI, indeed!! Hahaha. Except me of course."
Reaction #2: ...
Reaction #3: print out and pin to my wall.
I understand why 6.(b) is on there, but that is inevitably going to be misinterpreted by the Gamma and the engineer/computer science type, not to mention that offering an opinion for something that cannot possibly work is often going to be ignored anyway.
But I suppose the small percentage of people who will actually listen to an opinion given in a 6.(b) scenario will benefit, and the other segment will at least find you more credible and be more likely to listen in the future.
There's a difference between helping and interfering. Some people are too stubborn/stupid/ proud/incompetent etc to ask for help. A simple "You need a hand?" or "Are you OK with that?" might be needed.
Burnt finger teaches best, so it's shocking that many people have any appendages left at all.
If you are trying to make people think you are really smart, your default response to most things should just be, “hmm.” If they want to know what you think, they will ask after the hmm.
Recently, a pair of deltas took it upon themselves to change the presets on a piece of equipment that they had little knowledge of apart from pressing the power button, because they thought the preset looked "wrong". They had been told explicitly not to fiddle with it and to only press the power button. They happily told everyone on the company forum that they had changed the settings and that no one should touch them, since they were now correct. The delta responsible for it ran to check it when he read their post, but it was too late. It broke within minutes of use, and it was maaaybe 2 months old.
There were even stickers on the controls (literally on the buttons and knobs) that said "do not touch". The previous set broke for the same reason, and it also had stickers, and everyone had been given hands on instruction on how to use it (literally, press power button - done). The next set gets a damn cage.
Why do deltas such as these think rules and literal warning labels don't apply to them?
Because they don't know what they don't know. They exist in a little knowledge silo and it doesn't occur to them that anything exists beyond the walls of their domain.
When my husband used to work in aerospace one of the guys lost his hands because someone didn't think the lock out/tag out process applied to him and re-engaged the power on a machine while the tech was still elbows deep in it. All of those light curtains and other failsafe devices in manufacturing exist to counteract delta narcissism.
"They exist in a little knowledge silo and it doesn't occur to them that anything exists beyond the walls of their domain."
That rings true.
Observably, many have very strong opinions about things where they lack both rudimentary context and necessary basic information, such the whole "Russia bad, Ukraine good" thing, despite barely being able to point out Ukraine on a map, let alone the Donbas. It seems that particular tendency has the same root, yes?
"All of those light curtains and other failsafe devices in manufacturing exist to counteract delta narcissism."
In the same vein as "I am very competent at a thing and therefore I am competent at all things"? That would then lead to "the rules don't apply to me", "my bosses are stupid" and "things would be better if everyone just listened to me"?
The lack of context is the main trouble, combined with their absolute ignorance that there is any context to lack. They are smart and competent in their own domains and apply that "I know what I'm doing" attitude to everything else, sometimes leading to tragedy.
Some people have stupid bosses who say a when they mean b. Now, you can just comply and watch your stupid boss burn it all down but a lot of people really dont want to do that. Sometimes theyre even right! That said “it’s not your job”
This reminds of how maddening it is when a software developer puts out the kind of update that either changes things just to change things (it was ugly, we made it look nicer! Plus we hid all those menus, and you didn't really need to be able to format text...), or just does a radical redesign of something that worked just fine before. I usually assume that either someone needs to justify their phoneybaloney job (appearance changes), or else a developer was allowed to run loose with "innovative" ideas to revolutionize a formerly perfectly functional application.
Microsofts modus operandi since i started in the workforce. Excel has had maybe 1-2 genuine updates since excel 2003. Almost everything else is worse. Outlook in particular is useless now.
I genuinely despise Outlook. It never occurred to me the designers might be Gammas.
Like the time a Delta/Gamma mix guy found out we had an apple mac, which we only bought coz another friend spent months telling me how much better they are...
He installed all these short cuts where you move the cursor to bottom right it turned whatever on.Bottom left turn that thing on etc to the point that it was so annoying to use (yes even worse than a Mac is) and we couldn't figure out how to turn them off so we had to factory reset.
Now every time somebody tells me "oh Macs are so much better once you learn all the short cuts".. I tell them to F off
As someone who is watching the transfer from android to iOS and won't help, watching is painful.
I always tried my best to practice not helping in undergrad, especially when interacting with my peers who were not academically gifted. More than once I would hear someone say they would “knock it out real quick” before the deadline about a project that they never in a million years could do in less than a week. I always kept my mouth shut and never offered warnings or advice, even though I knew they were saying impossible things, because 1) I wasn’t trying to garner resentment among my classmates, and 2) Yapping incessantly about how someone else is doing their work badly would actually distract me from doing well in my own.
WRT #2, failure to respect this warrants threats of breaking your hands.
One thing that really baffles me in my wife is the urge she has to correct others people grammar.
Just fucking let them alone in their errors. It is not our son or daughter.
But at least she is a woman and people have more tolerance for this coming from a woman. But when it comes from men, it’s fucking comic, and tragic.
Well, ackshully.... I shall try to explain.
Gammas (and probably women) who become Subject Matter Experts in grammar learn the Rules and internalize following them as part of their core identity. When someone else "breaks" the rules, it sets up an internal OCD-type conflict that can only be resolved by blurting out the correct application of the Rule.
See also "Someone on the Internet is Wrong".
I've observed those people are generally just a little more intelligent than average. In the language of the SSH it's a solipsistic way to change the conversation to themselves. It's an attempt to assert their delusion bubble that they are smarter than you. It's sad, but if you don't have the chops and can't contribute something unique and substantive then there's this. Essentially everyone will deviate from school standard eventually. Never mind that it is the nature of language to constantly evolve.
"...it is the nature of language to constantly evolve."
I completely agree.
It's impossible to boldly go if we don't split a few infinitives that have it coming.
Sometimes the reason just IS 'because,' damn it!
What kind of responsibility would we have to take for our expressed wishes without the impersonal 'hopefully?'
A little more gamma than the rest.
Lol. Literally the “well actually” meme
My wife often wants me to correct my boomer mom. “She is a 70 year old boomer, she isnt changing”
> But at least she is a woman and people have more tolerance for this coming from a woman.
Correct; there is no woman-equivalent word for "mansplaining", which apparently is such a common word that it is not flagged as a typo in my browser
Shelaboration
Closely related to she-peating: when you hear the same story about how they don't like somebody/something again. And again. And...
Can Bravos tend to help too much, being that they are very much aware of everyone else & their business?
God save me from helpers. I had to institute a rule on each project: “Do it the way I want it done and if it goes wrong it will be my fault and not yours “. Along with: “All suggestions are welcome but don’t expect them to be followed “. Sadly, I have to repeat these instructions over and over again.
When handing off tasks, if it must be done your way, DICTATE SO. Otherwise, state the desired end result, don't care about the how, and grade mercilessly on that end result.
Not trying to kibbutz will make a man happier in any situation where he thinks he can help.
He will take the nonsense less personally, and he will control his jurisdiction more easily.