A Nice, Smart Man
What's ideal for a relationship is not necessarily attractive to women
One conflation that is very common, but fundamentally mistaken, is that the good qualities of a man are necessarily attractive. But humans are complex beings, with instinctive and subconscious urges that are frequently at odds with our conscious objectives, so it is absolutely vital to understand the distinctions between a) positive attributes, b) desirable relationship qualities, and c) attractional attributes.
Everyone understands this on a base level, even though most men and women fail to consistently apply it to their perspectives. A famous married rockstar is obviously a terrible choice as a potential future husband for a woman, but that isn’t going to render him any less attractive to her in the moment. Even if she has the common sense to control her instincts, that doesn’t mean she wasn’t attracted to him at all.
Of course, it doesn’t help men understand this distinction when most women vehemently deny their attractional patterns in favor of their societally-approved relationship objectives, but as has been pointed out repeatedly here on this site, men should never taken women seriously with regards to their statements on intersexual matters.
Feel free to do so if you like, but recognize that you are doing so at your own risk.
I’ve also pointed out that women are observably not attracted to intelligence and the sapiosexual woman is a complete myth. It’s a bit ironic that the same women who dispute my observation often imply that I am sexually unsuccessful, as by their own metric, I would be regarded as the male equivalent of a world-class supermodel. But this is nothing more than the application of the most-common female rhetorical device to a nonsensical stance based on emotional projection.
In fact, not only are women not attracted to intelligence, but many women are disattracted to what they perceive as excess intelligence. What a woman means when she says she prefers “smart men” is a man who is more intelligent than she is, but not more than one standard deviation more intelligent. The higher the woman’s intelligence, the more painful she tends to find any delta beyond that, which is why most highly intelligent men learn to actively avoid the more intelligent women.
Sounds great in theory, but reliably unpleasant in practice.
As with everything, the optimal path in life requires choosing intelligently between what you want right now and what you know is good for you in the long run. But if you’re the male equivalent of a healthy vegetable, don’t ever make the mistake of believing that somehow makes you a delicious piece of dark chocolate.
On a related note, there are just 34 hours left in the Hypergamouse campaign. Remember that Sigma Game is now a direct reward that you can now back directly.
"The male equivalent of a vegetable". Haha, that's a great line! To carry the analogy farther, vegetables can be made much more appetizing by roasting in butter, so if you are a vegetable, there are a few things you can do to look more delicious. But ultimately, you have to seek out a woman who wants to eat vegetables because she has some self control and cares about her health.
Sapiosexual is a word I noticed popping up a lot in the last 5-8 years or so. The second one is ambivert. You see this especially on social media / dating sites and apps. As Vox pointed out in the referenced post, sapiosexual has a meaning, which none of the women describing themselves as such actually understand. Otherwise, they would drop it immediately. So in this case it's usually midwit women posturing and is just used by them to convey "yeah, I like guys who are smarter than me / smart but not dorks". Gosh, what a novel and unheard of concept.
Ambivert, on the other hand, strikes me as more artificial if not deliberately made up concept. It feels right up the alley of have their cake and eat it too, girlboss, feelgood creation of the gynocentric academia. "All I do in my free time is watch TV shows but on the weekends I also go clubbing with my besties. I must be an ambivert". Either way, if a woman describes herself as sapiosexual or ambivert it's just eyeroll inducing and tends to indicate, at least to me, that she'll be the tedious type who has to challenge you on everything just to prove that she too can play with the big boys. A women equivalent of the "SOURCE?!" gammas, if you will.