Reading this I sense a better understanding of the black male/lone black mother scenario. The former refuses to subordinate his market value to deceitful woman knowing he can find many sources of pleasure and flattery, even if only temporary.
I know women who view men as objects in their intrasexual competition and women who view men as actual people. The two worlds don't meet very often but when they do it's a huge headache. The former are for the streets, of course.
I see the value in this post anyway: men tend way more towards naivete than cynicism regarding women so overshooting the cynicism is valuable to most men. It isn't nuanced enough to be especially accurate, especially given how extremely women differ on this behavior (it's bimodal, afaict), but hey it's more accurate than the mainstream's messaging.
Now, if we're talking about mainstream messaging? The fucking zeitgeist? Feminism? It's ~100% this kind of manipulation. Men who figure this out in their teens or 20s are blessed.
I do not agree that women are fake and that men are just naive. Either you have an abusive partner who oppress you or you don't. People are just desperate to find love, but they hate themselves so they put up with it.
I tend to think about the tendencies of women toward men in terms of the tendencies of ancient Israel toward God.
God was the one who brought Israel out of Egyptian slavery. Israel expressed her gratitude by whining and complaining that it was too hot, her feet hurt, and she was hungry. And when God finally gave her some food, Israel kept complaining that it wasn’t like somebody else’s food.
God then said He would take Israel to the Promised Land and let her live in peace and abundance. She responded by melting down all her gold to create an inanimate object that could obviously do it WAY better than He could, because He left her alone for 5 minutes and she didn’t like that.
God slayed the giants and told Israel that He would be her king. She said, “Okay cool!” and then started complaining that she didn’t have a “real” king. Israel was totally fine with God reigning over her, but she also wanted someone cooler to reign as well so random strangers would like her more.
God then gave Israel a king. But after a generation passed, Israel didn’t like her king anymore. “That is SO last season,” she said. Then she started harping about the kings of other nations and how they were so much better, stronger, and good-looking than the kings God gave her.
God also told Israel that their relationship was exclusive. Israel agreed and promised to never serve another god. She then proceeded to serve literally every other god available. But she didn’t stop serving God, she just served others alongside Him, so it’s not cheating, right? Besides, who cares if she ignores all the established rules and doesn’t serve Him any remotely correct way?
“I haven’t done anything wrong,” Israel said. “You’re just overreacting. Now be a good God and give me some blessings, and make it quick. Me and the girls have a passing-our-children-through-fire date at 3:00 and I just CANNOT miss it.”
P.S. It should also be noted that no man is perfect like God is, nor is any man deserving of praise like God is. This is just an analogy to explain female behavior, not male superiority. No Secret Kings here.
There are so many traps for the young contemporary man because virtually everything he has been told about women comes from women and yet he will take it all at face value.
Men are encouraged to be more like women; to express their emotions and to be comfortable in a subservient role. Good for women to the extent that they see you as economic competition. Not so good for your SSH value.
Even in situations where a woman does settle for a lower value mate, it’s difficult to see how this ends well. Men are often derided as uncaring husbands but rest assured the average man will spend far more time concerning himself with his wife’s emotional well-being than his wife will concern herself with his. A man accepting a subservient role in a relationship must do so with his eyes wide open.
I was having problems with a rekindled relationship and didn't see it going anywhere because she was getting more and more controlling. The final straw was getting denied sex "for 20 minutes" so she could sleep more. I didn't really care that much if we did or didn't bang that day (the really annoying part was she kept getting too hammered to go to church in the morning and we didn't even snuggle because she would pass out in random places and then sleep most of the day on the floor), but I decided to trash my apartment if she resisted my advances.
I stowed anything actually precious away and set a timer on my phone. Of course she was still being stingy with the sex after it went off, nothing she had promised for days before the visit mattered to her because reasons. I eagerly and systematically destroyed the place to her horror, thinking "Well at least it won't be a long drawn-out split". It was a totally silent hour drive back to her car and she didn't contact me for a couple days, but then came on even stronger than before lol.
I'm not going to try to understand it too hard. All I know is she's now with a psycho roofer who beats her (and wants to kill me apparently). It's something deeply primal as well as coldly calculating mixed together, but you gotta love em anyway right?
I had just started seeing a girl I had known for a while and offered her one of my senior pictures (as was the thing then). The pose I offered had me in my favorite shirt, bright red. She said, "Oh. You and that red shirt."
I thought you liked it on me.
"Why! You do not have the coloration for that shirt! It looks hideous on you."
That night, the shirt went into the box for the church clothing closet. In the 30 years since, I have never bought or worn a shirt the same shade.
I had a GF who was a fashionista, and when I told her she didn't have to dress-up fancy or wear lots of make-up and hair product for me, she responded quite forcefully "I'm not doing it for you!"
Many times, as Jennifer Aniston has been reportedly quoted, “Women dress for other women” for compliments. It lights us up to know another woman thought we put ourselves together well. We worry about how we’ll be viewed. Is this the right style for the occasion? For certain men, it’s going to be compliments of sexy, hot, fine and for certain outings, she wants to know she has it and it boosts her self esteem. Many single men see their gfs as hot. For married women, it can be both. While we love the compliments from other women, we need to know that what we put together is what our husbands desire. We will ask if our hair is to his liking. Should it be longer or shorter? Are you cool if I dye it? However, yes, there’s definitely women out there who don’t care because too, they know their husband or boyfriend has no clue about fashion and if given the chance, he’ll grab random items for her and it looks bad. Controllers control though and a man should not put up with women like that.
Brilluant
Likely the VERY BEST ‘SMACK DOWN’ I have ever READ.
Period.
JOG…with profound Thanks.
Reading this I sense a better understanding of the black male/lone black mother scenario. The former refuses to subordinate his market value to deceitful woman knowing he can find many sources of pleasure and flattery, even if only temporary.
Interesting perspective
'They think the woman is emotionally incontinent or childish when she actually being manipulative'
Yup
A pathetic over generalization of both men and women. I pity the woman who thinks all women think like this.
Perhaps actually lingering longer on the site and reading more would give you a better perspective. "All" wasn't part of the discussion.
Thank you for the admonition.
Shows capacity to learn and change. Admirable. I learn something almost every day.
I know women who view men as objects in their intrasexual competition and women who view men as actual people. The two worlds don't meet very often but when they do it's a huge headache. The former are for the streets, of course.
I see the value in this post anyway: men tend way more towards naivete than cynicism regarding women so overshooting the cynicism is valuable to most men. It isn't nuanced enough to be especially accurate, especially given how extremely women differ on this behavior (it's bimodal, afaict), but hey it's more accurate than the mainstream's messaging.
Now, if we're talking about mainstream messaging? The fucking zeitgeist? Feminism? It's ~100% this kind of manipulation. Men who figure this out in their teens or 20s are blessed.
I do not agree that women are fake and that men are just naive. Either you have an abusive partner who oppress you or you don't. People are just desperate to find love, but they hate themselves so they put up with it.
This post felt a little Andrew Tatey
I tend to think about the tendencies of women toward men in terms of the tendencies of ancient Israel toward God.
God was the one who brought Israel out of Egyptian slavery. Israel expressed her gratitude by whining and complaining that it was too hot, her feet hurt, and she was hungry. And when God finally gave her some food, Israel kept complaining that it wasn’t like somebody else’s food.
God then said He would take Israel to the Promised Land and let her live in peace and abundance. She responded by melting down all her gold to create an inanimate object that could obviously do it WAY better than He could, because He left her alone for 5 minutes and she didn’t like that.
God slayed the giants and told Israel that He would be her king. She said, “Okay cool!” and then started complaining that she didn’t have a “real” king. Israel was totally fine with God reigning over her, but she also wanted someone cooler to reign as well so random strangers would like her more.
God then gave Israel a king. But after a generation passed, Israel didn’t like her king anymore. “That is SO last season,” she said. Then she started harping about the kings of other nations and how they were so much better, stronger, and good-looking than the kings God gave her.
God also told Israel that their relationship was exclusive. Israel agreed and promised to never serve another god. She then proceeded to serve literally every other god available. But she didn’t stop serving God, she just served others alongside Him, so it’s not cheating, right? Besides, who cares if she ignores all the established rules and doesn’t serve Him any remotely correct way?
“I haven’t done anything wrong,” Israel said. “You’re just overreacting. Now be a good God and give me some blessings, and make it quick. Me and the girls have a passing-our-children-through-fire date at 3:00 and I just CANNOT miss it.”
Wise and rare comment.
P.S. It should also be noted that no man is perfect like God is, nor is any man deserving of praise like God is. This is just an analogy to explain female behavior, not male superiority. No Secret Kings here.
Even the select SON OF GOD told His disciples, when asked, that He 'was not good', only His Father was good.
Easy for me to love a King like that. Omnipotent and yet humble before Father.
There are so many traps for the young contemporary man because virtually everything he has been told about women comes from women and yet he will take it all at face value.
Men are encouraged to be more like women; to express their emotions and to be comfortable in a subservient role. Good for women to the extent that they see you as economic competition. Not so good for your SSH value.
Even in situations where a woman does settle for a lower value mate, it’s difficult to see how this ends well. Men are often derided as uncaring husbands but rest assured the average man will spend far more time concerning himself with his wife’s emotional well-being than his wife will concern herself with his. A man accepting a subservient role in a relationship must do so with his eyes wide open.
Raises the question; is there anything about feminism we should take at face value?
That it is unrepentantly, and gleefully, evil. That, you can believe in.
Yea. Femin8at despise any functional family and want it destroyed.
Because feminista so not have children. Instead they steal children.
Therefore much of current female behavior is tqctivwl to peot3ct that woman's children and husband.
My chicken flock taught me all of the basic fundamentals of female dynamics.
I'm only sort of joking.
I was having problems with a rekindled relationship and didn't see it going anywhere because she was getting more and more controlling. The final straw was getting denied sex "for 20 minutes" so she could sleep more. I didn't really care that much if we did or didn't bang that day (the really annoying part was she kept getting too hammered to go to church in the morning and we didn't even snuggle because she would pass out in random places and then sleep most of the day on the floor), but I decided to trash my apartment if she resisted my advances.
I stowed anything actually precious away and set a timer on my phone. Of course she was still being stingy with the sex after it went off, nothing she had promised for days before the visit mattered to her because reasons. I eagerly and systematically destroyed the place to her horror, thinking "Well at least it won't be a long drawn-out split". It was a totally silent hour drive back to her car and she didn't contact me for a couple days, but then came on even stronger than before lol.
I'm not going to try to understand it too hard. All I know is she's now with a psycho roofer who beats her (and wants to kill me apparently). It's something deeply primal as well as coldly calculating mixed together, but you gotta love em anyway right?
No.
The opposite reaction to a shirt also happens.
I had just started seeing a girl I had known for a while and offered her one of my senior pictures (as was the thing then). The pose I offered had me in my favorite shirt, bright red. She said, "Oh. You and that red shirt."
I thought you liked it on me.
"Why! You do not have the coloration for that shirt! It looks hideous on you."
That night, the shirt went into the box for the church clothing closet. In the 30 years since, I have never bought or worn a shirt the same shade.
Might be of interest
https://open.substack.com/pub/rachelhewitt/p/why-arent-more-men-talking-about?r=2iob9h&utm_medium=ios
Rachel could find her own corner to stand in, but instead chases men who want to be left alone by women of her stripe. She craves drama.
I had a GF who was a fashionista, and when I told her she didn't have to dress-up fancy or wear lots of make-up and hair product for me, she responded quite forcefully "I'm not doing it for you!"
Many times, as Jennifer Aniston has been reportedly quoted, “Women dress for other women” for compliments. It lights us up to know another woman thought we put ourselves together well. We worry about how we’ll be viewed. Is this the right style for the occasion? For certain men, it’s going to be compliments of sexy, hot, fine and for certain outings, she wants to know she has it and it boosts her self esteem. Many single men see their gfs as hot. For married women, it can be both. While we love the compliments from other women, we need to know that what we put together is what our husbands desire. We will ask if our hair is to his liking. Should it be longer or shorter? Are you cool if I dye it? However, yes, there’s definitely women out there who don’t care because too, they know their husband or boyfriend has no clue about fashion and if given the chance, he’ll grab random items for her and it looks bad. Controllers control though and a man should not put up with women like that.