How does your basic pro athlete with poor impulse control fit in here? They certainly erupt in rage volcanos at rule enforcement, especially if expressed at all dismissively.
Are they still Gammas despite plenty of female attention?
I suppose if I’m ever tempted to rage volcano, it’s because I think “the tough guys-the athletes, the rock stars, the ones with the girls - don’t get talked to this way.” Not valid?
I had a gamma volcano during a D&D game(go figure right). He had latched onto me as a friend and I had been trying to work with him to get him out of his gamma mindset, but I could tell it wasn't taking. He got into a tiff with the DM and was asked to sit out a few sessions. He tried to poison me and the group against the DM privately. When that didn't work, he barged into a session, asking questions and being disruptive. I stepped in and shut him down. It was at that point the DM asked him to leave the game permanently.
He cried to me and asked me to leave the game. I told him no, I wasn't his bitch. He had another blow up after that and sent me a couple walls of texts. I told him I wasn't reading that, and said that if he ever wanted to change his attitude and contact me as friends he should reach out. He never did, I still see him on steam occasionally. I hope he changed his ways and is having a better life, but I doubt it.
The single tear eking out of the gamma’s eye in that first picture was a nice touch.
Gammas’ inability to move on and let things go is definitely one of their worst qualities. Just let things go and move on. Not everything’s personal. It comes across like obsessive concern about what others think about them, but I think it’s more a burning desire to have the last word. “Secret king wins again” is the perfect phrase to describe this phenomenon.
Not much of a comment, but I wanted to say that 1) when I saw the email alert per this article, I immediately knew it pertained to what I'd read the day before on Vox Popoli, and 2) the title made me laugh out loud.
Now that I think about it, I think my laughter might be of the nervous variety--the type rooted not so much in finding something legitimately humorous, but more rooted in my unconscious telling me that well, perhaps it hits too close to home, then in kicks the baffling, irrational "coping mechanism" or whatever of said laughter. And the "eye-opening" part is me realizing that welp, I probably have a lot of gamma traits. Hell, I may even BE one. Wouldn't surprise me. SHH is very new to me as is this blog, but the more I read the comments the more I'm like, "Shit, I see myself there . . . and there . . . and there . . . and, okay, that's more my dad than me, but then there's the whole apples don't fall far from the tree thing, so . . ."
I can retroactively see the gamma traits and behaviors too and while that's no walk in the park, I do take solace in knowing that several years ago I began waking up and realizing how messed up I still was after literally decades of doing the whole "bullshit forgiveness" thing with my immediate family that Stefan Molyneux talks about, only to finally have an epiphany where I realize I'm still harboring a lot of suppressed anger and rage. Decades ago I looked at my siblings making their entire identity in early adulthood about how much they blamed our parents for their miserable lives and, because I was a recent convert to Christianity (the only one in my family) I used magical thinking and shallow self-righteousness as a "reaction" to my siblings' attitude and smugly thought, "That's stupid. I choose to forgive and forget." No, Dr. Phil, that' NOT workin' out for me.
Translation: I have a lot of learning and work to do. Glad I could get that off my not so anonymous chest.
[UPDATE written before posting--No, I am DEFINITELY a gamma. I will remain convinced of that till advised or informed otherwise.]
Re: Forgiveness. My understanding was that Stephen Molyneux says to avoid contact with your narcissistic parents. You can't forgive from a distance, or at least it's not easy at all. It's all too easy to fall into delusion if you just think, "Oh yeah I'm totally a holy forgiver" without taking action. Jesse Lee Peterson has a video about how to forgive
You go straight up, you state all of your grievances, you apologize for being angry and you forgive them. Their reaction is unimportant and, in most cases, should be outright ignored.
Thank you. Yes, I did pick up on a reminder from Vox recently about the importance of being brutally honest with oneself. I've done it before (but many, MANY years ago), and I'll do it again. And again. And again. There's being "honest with oneself," which I have probably done a better than average job of doing over the years (like that's really saying anything--"average" isn't very impressive). Then there's being BRUTALLY honest with oneself. My dad was a big reality evader in some crucial ways, (and I'm his only male offspring) so I have my work cut out for me but at least I can use his behavior and history as a type of "reflection pool" for seeing where I'm unconsciously mimicking and adopting some if not all of his bad traits. I'm guessing I need to see it like an addict in recovery does, which is monitoring the condition daily, sort of like how a leper uses a VSE (visual surveillance of extremities) to check for bodily injury that otherwise go undetected. And yes, learned that term from reading Lord Foul's Bane. ;)
The Alpha Game blog has a whole series of articles about Graduating Gamma to Delta.
Delta because there needs to be no delusion-feeding distraction about leadership. Capability, competence, contrition, ability to follow well, and most important: truth and reality above all things. Until that's achieved, consistent, and remarked upon to you by others, don't even think about anything else.
It sounds like you've already started on the path of honesty. We wish you luck, and encourage you to ask for help from God as well as man.
Thanks, Joe. I didn't even know that blog existed so I'll definitely check it out! Looking forward to letting the meaning of "delusion-feeding distraction" really is and letting it sink in . . .
Men who act overly polite usually tend to be gammas. Not just polite, but a sort of forced, trying too hard polite and mannered. I used to see a lot of them years ago when I worked in a corner store. They would always be polite almost to the point of self-parody, unless something set them off and they just exploded. But one incident really took the cake.
One evening, I was working at the cash register nearest the front door with a line of people queued up. I was ringing up a customer when I heard some sort of commotion. I looked up, and one of our regulars - a blind man - was at the front door apologizing to someone in the line. I don’t know exactly what he said, but it was something like “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way,” or words to that effect. It was difficult to hear him over the yelling coming from the line.
The customer in front of me left, and the next person in line walked up and set a few items on the counter, looking at the blind man and yelling. The blind man again tried to apologize, but the customer turned to me and slammed his hand on the counter, yelling “And THIS is why I don’t help people!”
This is a guy who was usually polite to a fault, in that try-hard manner described above.
The customer just went on ranting about this, pissed off that his offer of help had been so rudely thrown back in his face. Or at least that’s how he saw it. The other clerk and I set the items off to the side, told him to leave, and apologized to the blind man and made sure he got on his way safely. Other customers couldn’t believe what they just saw, and let us know it.
What happened was that the customer had offered to hold the door for the blind man, and the blind man didn’t want him to, because he used the physical sensation of pushing the door open the door as a marker to count his steps to find his way home (he was not using a cane). Having someone else hold the door for him would cause him to lose the touchstone that he used to start counting.
It’s possible the blind man waved off the help a little too sharply, since I’m sure he was constantly offered “help” by well-meaning people who didn’t realize how they were making it more difficult for him. Or maybe he wasn’t rude, but was just taking the blame trying to calm the customer down. I don’t know.
Either way, the customer’s reaction was completely asinine. He was utterly enraged that someone didn’t want his help, not in the way that would actually benefit the other person, but in the way HE wanted to help them.
The value of looking up from your own bellybutton cannot be overstated. How little trouble would it have been for everyone if he'd shrugged it off, thinking, "Everyone's got their circumstances, I guess."
This tracks. Gammas, such as myself, tend to be obsessed with rules. Social interactions are hard for Gammas, as they themselves are socially non-intuitive/awkward; Gammas also have a wildly skewed sense of what is appropriate as a result. Therefore, they cling to rules to guide them, almost to autistic level.
Then, when someone violates a perceived rule, they explode, because (1) they overvalue the rule rather than what the rule is there for; (2) they have little ability to understand another's point of view, thinking their own butthurt is most important; and (3) they think they can use a rule violation to socially elevate themselves and denigrate others, just as they use rules in other areas to do so.
Honestly, it isn't performanative. The Gamma truly is wildly upset at this slight, whether real or perceived. And doubly so when no one else agrees with him that the person who did it should be castigated.
The rule-clinging, spiraling, and levering is such a common set of autistic behaviors that apps and videos designed to teach social interaction (q.v. Everyday Speech et. al.) generally have a section of materials focusing on precisely your 3 points.
One of the common symptoms of this set, and the problem many of the social apps start with, is tattletale behavior. Something that has also been empowered in the Longhouse workplace, as it works to converge with the junior high experience.
Being a Gamma is a curse. I am delta now (yay accomplishment) but the old feelings/reactions sometimes boil up and if looked at analytically are just complete nonsense. I envy the Alphas, Betas, and Sigmas and natural Deltas that don't have to fight those intrusive reminders of what one used to be but hey we all got our crosses. Best test to see if you've evolved past Gamma for me at least - do you look back at your stupid Gammadom reactions back in the day and cringe like the rest of Earth did at the time or do you attempt to justify them to this day? Best to treat it like AA - I will not Gamma.... Today. Easy does it and One day at a time.
"It is better to remain silent and be thought a gamma, than to speak up and remove all doubt."
(apologies to Abe Lincoln)
I know some people who probably have gamma tendencies, however their self-mastery keeps it from showing. We may have many more quiet gammas who are far more crafty and only strike on occasion. The visible gammas appear to be the ones with no self-control.
I've seen a few of these rage spirals in person. What blows my mind is the person is so caught up in the moment that they can't even see the self-destruction they are committing. Without getting too theological about it, there could be (for some) elements of spiritual pressure, bordering on the demonic. It's similar to a tantrum of physical self-harm like cutting, merely less severe in appearance.
I think at much of the gamma core is a sense of entitlement, sometimes masquerading as a "desire for justice". In the cases I witnessed, there was also a deep sense of being wronged by everyone. One guy I knew was ALMOST paranoid-level convinced that everyone in the whole world was - upon meeting him - seeking to find some way to insult him or control him. He was raised by a toxic domineering mother. He could not accept that 99% of people are just getting through their day, and the carefully noticed insults were nothing more than him reading into everything. I tried to shake him loose of it. It only got worse.
A collapsing delusion bubble is serious business and it's seriously dangerous. To them it is a life or death reality to have as their self is identified with the delusion.
@SIGMAGAME Vox, I know that putting together a book of all your posts on gammas over the years would probably be tedious and painful in the extreme, because you'd have to possibly re-read their "cases" even if only partially for minor layout or edits, but think of the service to humanity you would do. The sheer global laughter at Gamma behaviour may well ripple across the quantum fluctuations. Reality might shift. I know there is the risk their squeals will rend the very fabric that keeps portals to hell closed, but, but... perhaps, just perhaps, the shame will be so global they will return to their crevices under rocks from which the internet allowed them to crawl out of.
Also... many of us would laugh, and laugh, and laugh.
And think of the energy of hate that would be generated at you. As a dark lord surely you could us it somehow, perhaps to build wormholes to travel to the stars with. Certainly you would not be short of fuel anyway.
Perhaps this is off topic. Does anyone here have a take on where in the SSH hierarchy Gonzalo Lira was. He had some insightful videos yet made himself too vulnerable to the Ukraine regime and ultimately killed. I'm starting to consider that he was a Gamma, just egging on the regime.
When yesterday, I was skimming through the post before going to bed, I immediately thought a prescient joke about a gamma's reaction to it which I didn't post at the time because Vox clearly indicated that it wasn't the appropriate place and I'm not a gamma.
"Well, I'm not married to a delta, actually I'm not even married or a woman but this is mine opinion how it is to be a woman married to a delta".
Even so watching this gamma-show in the morning caught me by surprise.
The worst part is the tarnishing of Prof. Ransom's good name. How dare he! The Space trilogy is awesome and he is clearly Weston.
This post has convinced me of my gamma-hood, or, more hopefully, of my recovering gamma-hood into delta-hood. It also reminds me that my father is a gamma, and how his gamma rage affected our family growing up.
Warning: gamma wall-of-text below.
Now, as an opening note: I and the rest of my immediate family love my father. He was never physically abusive to us and is often quite giving to those in his immediate circle. He was a good provider and loyal to his wife and children (AFAIK).
That said, my father has very frequent loud gamma rage outs whenever even the smallest thing in his world went wrong. For example, If his beloved television stopped working or cable went out, watch out! He would scream so loud the houses would shake, and wouldn't stop until it was fixed somehow. He would slam doors, pound tables, and then yell at all of us for the smallest thing. He rages like a thunderstorm and doesn't care who he upsets.
I spent many dinners in dead silence at a dinner table, terrified if I made one wrong move my father's rage would turn on me, and praying that the TV started working or whatever problem was magically fixed to make him be nice. We would all take turns either trying to placate him or hiding in our rooms from him; I became quite an expert at fixing his computer, which my mother and sister frequently thanked me for. When they moved to a condo in their retirement, a number of neighbors thought my mother was being physically abused (she never was) from when he would scream, bang, rage, yell, and sulk when the slightest thing went wrong.
He coached me in a number of sports growing up --- except that when things weren't going his way, he would get kicked out of games (again: kid's games) by officials for threatening them. Earl Weaver and Bobby Cox had nothing on my father. Or else he would get into fights with parents in the stands or opposing coaches. Of course this caused me huge embarrassment and shame, and I many times cried at games when this happened, thus embarrassing myself even more.
The short-term results of these gamma rages were that my mother, my sister, and I were completely upset and scared the rest of the day and usually the next. Astonishingly, my father, once the issue was resolved --- technology fixed, game over, problem solved -- he would instantly lose his bad mood, and act as if nothing had happened. And, importantly, never apologized. And when we remained upset or complained at him, he would say, "What did I do?" as if his giant sulking rage fest was nothing, and we were weak for being upset.
The long-term results for me were worse. As stated, I am a gamma, and I likely modeled my behavior on his. I, too, have the rage fests, and burned many bridges in the past. But his gamma rages also encouraged unhealthy, sickening addictions in me that I have only recently grasped and begun to handle. I would hide in my room or leave the house and use these addictions to escape his raging or else deal with my frayed nerves in the wake of his rage.
And once you use an addiction as an escape, it becomes habit. Hence why a gamma's self-delusion bubble can remain intact; if he's constantly escaping into his addiction fantasy world, his delusion bubble cannot be popped. I would bet that gammas constitute the most numerous group of males I find in the 12-Step groups I attend. We are all recovering from addictions we used to hide away from reality, preserving our gamma-delusion bubbles. (In Eugene O'Neill's famous play, The Iceman Cometh, set in a bar with alcoholics, one slow to boil fact comes out that each alcoholic is a secret king -- each talks with grandiosity about what they're going to once they leave the bar and how they're going to change their life, but they never do, simply returning to the bottle. )
And yes, this is a typical gamma wall-of-text post. For that I am sorry.
A heart felt congratulations from me for putting yourself out there in the intent and hope to stop that self-destructive behaviour. If you are interested I'm willing to help pointing you in other directions for guidance than Sigma Game. There's a rather larger difference between recognizing the behaviour and finding the love within your soul. This site I believe is about the first. Others I have found extremely helpful talks about the second. And that is where true salvation lies. When you realize God loves you and you have love inside you, that little annoying fear gnawing away at our souls vanishes and the beauty that was always there inside us surfaces. When we learn that, when we truly know that, the emotional fluctuations stop causing insane behaviour. I'm also on SG, but rarely read my inbox, and I don't know how to see followup comments, without searching, so I'm probably difficult to contact, should that be of interest.
Update: I just remembered Dr. Bill Pettit's self-help solution for the 'Gamma' (as well as the Sigma). It involves duct-tape on your mouth and sitting on your hands until the frothing has resided. I couldn't find a video where he covers it in his own funny way, so I'll just post this other random video of his, that sounds to be full of love as typical for him. I've watched it long ago, but don't remember the content, but don't need to as they all contain the guide towards the beauty of our soul:
Your Gamma-hood sounds, to me, more like learned behavior from the trauma of living in constant rage mood swings from your father.
My condolensces for what you've gone through, but keep at it. Keep working on yourself & I have every confidence you can elevate yourself from the Gamma shackles & into a decent, honest, good man.
Shall I hold up a mirror to you and your unpleasant behavior towards me here in the comments? Answering a discussion, not even on your own blog, with swearing and nasty 'shots,' as if taking comments from someone you never have and never will meet seems like an over-reaction. Just a point of data for your consideration.
Thanks Rogue, but I'd suggest he is DESCRIBING not SHOWING that he has "overcome his weakness." I'd also look askance at you 'giving respect' to such directed vulgarity directed (or perhaps you didn't see it) at ANY woman on one of Vox's blogs.
And his gammatude is pretty obvious, both in his earlier comments and in his pretending to BE a man such as could give an order to woman he does not know. Secret king, giving smirking orders where he has no authority? VERY gamma. So -- is my girl-gamma-radar stronger than yours or are you trying to encourage him to keep working and MAYBE he will cease being a gamma?
I would give him a point, IF I believed he were doing OTHER than admitting to his behavior as a way to ingratiate/excuse himself to keep from getting 'in trouble/banned' from this 'stack. I wish him well (without caring who he is or if he succeeds) because it's is extremely HARD to changes one's fundamental 'way in the world.'
However, his combination of petty nastiness to me along with his wall-of-text explaining (to the MEN) how he IS recognizing his gamma traits and has been (is intending?) to work on those rings false. I "hear" him chuckling to himself that the MEN fell for his excuses and "desire" to better himself -- even while he continued acting the gamma.
IF he were truly self-reflective and DESIRING to control his gamma, then -- in a discussion on a specific blog of how NOT to be gamma -- he would not have discarded with vitriol an opinion he did not like. You don't see his attempted parting shot: "Quiet woman" to me as entirely typical playacting BY a gamma? (Esp. preceded by his anger and swearing at my suggestion? I've been guessing that this blog, too, is a clean speech area?)
aa, I would "give him that" if he were not so obviously gamma, even while declaiming he is 'fixing' that!
And atom man, I was NOT "asking the guyzzzz" to come defend me. I was offering a REFLECTION TO HIM that this "don't want to be a gamma anymore" guy seemed to want... (Certainly needed!)
I would, do, and HAVE accepted a "quiet woman" from a man who was not a gamma. (If you had been here in the Dark Lord's demesnes over the past 8-10 years ... you'd likely "give me more than one point" for my own "recovery.") His last post to me was just a snarky gamma flouncing off after some woman pointed out his gamma.
I did see his parting shot, and commented to him on it. It was not appropriate.
Yes, I am familiar that you don't need anyone defending you, and I wasn't. The comment to him was for his correction. The comment to you was to note a difference here from what we VP old timers have typically witnessed.
Fact is that we have more than one confessed Gamma here on Sigma Game who at least admit to their current state, and they say they would like to change. After watching too many Gamma blowups on VP and SG over the years, that's kinda refreshing. It's heartening as well if they can succeed.
This is how we know God exists and miracles happen. I never thought I'd see the day I would read a gamma outing himself without excuse or magical solipsism.
Golf clap sir, golf clap. And godspeed on the delta recovery program. It would appear to me based on this relevant comment of yours you may be well entrenched on the path. Carry on.
Agree - it was well written and introspective. Maybe not everyone maybe likes long comments but some of us do. It keeps the thread party going full-tilt.
I'm always a little sad when a hot thread peters out...
Gammas are a blend of the worst in male & female psychology: status anxiety, attention-seeking, verbosity, passive aggression, and lurking rapey violence. They feel they are owed respect, as if they really are Alphas and can't understand why no one sees it.
I don't know if any other SSH group has such a false self-image, such innate, shearing wrongness.
They put me in mind of Dune's Count Fenring, he should have been the Kwisatz Haderach but alas was just a highly dangerous eunuch.
This is something I keep wondering - I know that women don't fit in the SSH. That said, there are an awful lot of gamma attributes that are present in the most intolerable women.
I don't think I've seen a woman rage-spiral though, that I can recall. Nor a flounce. But all the gamma precursor stuff seems similar. Posturing, condescending language, some secret king type attitude. The wind-up is similar, but the pitch is different.
According to Ed Dutton, most witchcraft convictions were to do with women murdering their husbands, usually by poison; they just tacked witchcraft on top , I guess for spice.
There is something unrestrained in female violence, and I think Gammas are very female (lots of gays have Gamma traits) so they will tend to a dishonourable, all-out, no-mercy approach. Hence Vox's admonition to never apologise to SJWs - they have no concept of honour so just see it as weakness.
VD introduced the term "Secret King". It is the perfect description. He's that teenager in High School who hated the starting quarterback and the head cheerleader because he wasn't the former dating the latter.
Oh lord, the note. Why do they have to write notes? Nothing like a wall of text handwritten about how you have been seducing him (when you never even noticed him, certainly not like that), all stained, creased and sweaty around the edges from being carried around in his anxious palm for God-knows-how-long. Horrifying. You just know without some kind of outside intervention it's going to escalate from there and you are very likely in real physical danger.
I mean, I suppose the note can be seen as a sort of snake's rattle. Pretty sure it has never, ever worked to win over the girl, but it sure will put her on notice.
Relating it with you suddenly 2nd person in the memory - sounds like he recasts everything with him as centre, controlling hub to which all else refers. These people are often very theatrical, as if producer/director/main actor, others roped in as bit parts & love interests & villains. Vox is probably listed as Main Villain on several films on Gamma IMDB (but was previously Best Friend).
How does your basic pro athlete with poor impulse control fit in here? They certainly erupt in rage volcanos at rule enforcement, especially if expressed at all dismissively.
Are they still Gammas despite plenty of female attention?
Sure. The situational role never trumps the core behavioral pattern.
Have you ever discussed that kind of gamma?
I suppose if I’m ever tempted to rage volcano, it’s because I think “the tough guys-the athletes, the rock stars, the ones with the girls - don’t get talked to this way.” Not valid?
That's a quintessential Gamma attitude. "How dare you not treat me as if I have status that I obviously don't have!"
I had a gamma volcano during a D&D game(go figure right). He had latched onto me as a friend and I had been trying to work with him to get him out of his gamma mindset, but I could tell it wasn't taking. He got into a tiff with the DM and was asked to sit out a few sessions. He tried to poison me and the group against the DM privately. When that didn't work, he barged into a session, asking questions and being disruptive. I stepped in and shut him down. It was at that point the DM asked him to leave the game permanently.
He cried to me and asked me to leave the game. I told him no, I wasn't his bitch. He had another blow up after that and sent me a couple walls of texts. I told him I wasn't reading that, and said that if he ever wanted to change his attitude and contact me as friends he should reach out. He never did, I still see him on steam occasionally. I hope he changed his ways and is having a better life, but I doubt it.
The single tear eking out of the gamma’s eye in that first picture was a nice touch.
Gammas’ inability to move on and let things go is definitely one of their worst qualities. Just let things go and move on. Not everything’s personal. It comes across like obsessive concern about what others think about them, but I think it’s more a burning desire to have the last word. “Secret king wins again” is the perfect phrase to describe this phenomenon.
"And the Gamma will never, ever, stop trying to expose you, discredit you, or otherwise take you down."
See also: reddit / r / owenbenjamin (almost entirely populated by former "bears" who got ban hammered for Gammatude)
The bannings will continue until morale improves.
Just ask Mr. Incredible about this.
Not much of a comment, but I wanted to say that 1) when I saw the email alert per this article, I immediately knew it pertained to what I'd read the day before on Vox Popoli, and 2) the title made me laugh out loud.
Great article. And VERY eye-opening.
Now that I think about it, I think my laughter might be of the nervous variety--the type rooted not so much in finding something legitimately humorous, but more rooted in my unconscious telling me that well, perhaps it hits too close to home, then in kicks the baffling, irrational "coping mechanism" or whatever of said laughter. And the "eye-opening" part is me realizing that welp, I probably have a lot of gamma traits. Hell, I may even BE one. Wouldn't surprise me. SHH is very new to me as is this blog, but the more I read the comments the more I'm like, "Shit, I see myself there . . . and there . . . and there . . . and, okay, that's more my dad than me, but then there's the whole apples don't fall far from the tree thing, so . . ."
I can retroactively see the gamma traits and behaviors too and while that's no walk in the park, I do take solace in knowing that several years ago I began waking up and realizing how messed up I still was after literally decades of doing the whole "bullshit forgiveness" thing with my immediate family that Stefan Molyneux talks about, only to finally have an epiphany where I realize I'm still harboring a lot of suppressed anger and rage. Decades ago I looked at my siblings making their entire identity in early adulthood about how much they blamed our parents for their miserable lives and, because I was a recent convert to Christianity (the only one in my family) I used magical thinking and shallow self-righteousness as a "reaction" to my siblings' attitude and smugly thought, "That's stupid. I choose to forgive and forget." No, Dr. Phil, that' NOT workin' out for me.
Translation: I have a lot of learning and work to do. Glad I could get that off my not so anonymous chest.
[UPDATE written before posting--No, I am DEFINITELY a gamma. I will remain convinced of that till advised or informed otherwise.]
Re: Forgiveness. My understanding was that Stephen Molyneux says to avoid contact with your narcissistic parents. You can't forgive from a distance, or at least it's not easy at all. It's all too easy to fall into delusion if you just think, "Oh yeah I'm totally a holy forgiver" without taking action. Jesse Lee Peterson has a video about how to forgive
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jB98wuVuEDs
You go straight up, you state all of your grievances, you apologize for being angry and you forgive them. Their reaction is unimportant and, in most cases, should be outright ignored.
Like Joe Katzman said, check out Alpha game and graduating gamma.
And be ruthlessly, brutally honest with yourself in every single thing you do.
Thank you. Yes, I did pick up on a reminder from Vox recently about the importance of being brutally honest with oneself. I've done it before (but many, MANY years ago), and I'll do it again. And again. And again. There's being "honest with oneself," which I have probably done a better than average job of doing over the years (like that's really saying anything--"average" isn't very impressive). Then there's being BRUTALLY honest with oneself. My dad was a big reality evader in some crucial ways, (and I'm his only male offspring) so I have my work cut out for me but at least I can use his behavior and history as a type of "reflection pool" for seeing where I'm unconsciously mimicking and adopting some if not all of his bad traits. I'm guessing I need to see it like an addict in recovery does, which is monitoring the condition daily, sort of like how a leper uses a VSE (visual surveillance of extremities) to check for bodily injury that otherwise go undetected. And yes, learned that term from reading Lord Foul's Bane. ;)
The Alpha Game blog has a whole series of articles about Graduating Gamma to Delta.
Delta because there needs to be no delusion-feeding distraction about leadership. Capability, competence, contrition, ability to follow well, and most important: truth and reality above all things. Until that's achieved, consistent, and remarked upon to you by others, don't even think about anything else.
It sounds like you've already started on the path of honesty. We wish you luck, and encourage you to ask for help from God as well as man.
Thanks, Joe. I didn't even know that blog existed so I'll definitely check it out! Looking forward to letting the meaning of "delusion-feeding distraction" really is and letting it sink in . . .
Update: I found the Alpha Game blog.
Men who act overly polite usually tend to be gammas. Not just polite, but a sort of forced, trying too hard polite and mannered. I used to see a lot of them years ago when I worked in a corner store. They would always be polite almost to the point of self-parody, unless something set them off and they just exploded. But one incident really took the cake.
One evening, I was working at the cash register nearest the front door with a line of people queued up. I was ringing up a customer when I heard some sort of commotion. I looked up, and one of our regulars - a blind man - was at the front door apologizing to someone in the line. I don’t know exactly what he said, but it was something like “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way,” or words to that effect. It was difficult to hear him over the yelling coming from the line.
The customer in front of me left, and the next person in line walked up and set a few items on the counter, looking at the blind man and yelling. The blind man again tried to apologize, but the customer turned to me and slammed his hand on the counter, yelling “And THIS is why I don’t help people!”
This is a guy who was usually polite to a fault, in that try-hard manner described above.
The customer just went on ranting about this, pissed off that his offer of help had been so rudely thrown back in his face. Or at least that’s how he saw it. The other clerk and I set the items off to the side, told him to leave, and apologized to the blind man and made sure he got on his way safely. Other customers couldn’t believe what they just saw, and let us know it.
What happened was that the customer had offered to hold the door for the blind man, and the blind man didn’t want him to, because he used the physical sensation of pushing the door open the door as a marker to count his steps to find his way home (he was not using a cane). Having someone else hold the door for him would cause him to lose the touchstone that he used to start counting.
It’s possible the blind man waved off the help a little too sharply, since I’m sure he was constantly offered “help” by well-meaning people who didn’t realize how they were making it more difficult for him. Or maybe he wasn’t rude, but was just taking the blame trying to calm the customer down. I don’t know.
Either way, the customer’s reaction was completely asinine. He was utterly enraged that someone didn’t want his help, not in the way that would actually benefit the other person, but in the way HE wanted to help them.
The value of looking up from your own bellybutton cannot be overstated. How little trouble would it have been for everyone if he'd shrugged it off, thinking, "Everyone's got their circumstances, I guess."
This tracks. Gammas, such as myself, tend to be obsessed with rules. Social interactions are hard for Gammas, as they themselves are socially non-intuitive/awkward; Gammas also have a wildly skewed sense of what is appropriate as a result. Therefore, they cling to rules to guide them, almost to autistic level.
Then, when someone violates a perceived rule, they explode, because (1) they overvalue the rule rather than what the rule is there for; (2) they have little ability to understand another's point of view, thinking their own butthurt is most important; and (3) they think they can use a rule violation to socially elevate themselves and denigrate others, just as they use rules in other areas to do so.
Honestly, it isn't performanative. The Gamma truly is wildly upset at this slight, whether real or perceived. And doubly so when no one else agrees with him that the person who did it should be castigated.
The rule-clinging, spiraling, and levering is such a common set of autistic behaviors that apps and videos designed to teach social interaction (q.v. Everyday Speech et. al.) generally have a section of materials focusing on precisely your 3 points.
One of the common symptoms of this set, and the problem many of the social apps start with, is tattletale behavior. Something that has also been empowered in the Longhouse workplace, as it works to converge with the junior high experience.
Being a Gamma is a curse. I am delta now (yay accomplishment) but the old feelings/reactions sometimes boil up and if looked at analytically are just complete nonsense. I envy the Alphas, Betas, and Sigmas and natural Deltas that don't have to fight those intrusive reminders of what one used to be but hey we all got our crosses. Best test to see if you've evolved past Gamma for me at least - do you look back at your stupid Gammadom reactions back in the day and cringe like the rest of Earth did at the time or do you attempt to justify them to this day? Best to treat it like AA - I will not Gamma.... Today. Easy does it and One day at a time.
This is the Way.
"It is better to remain silent and be thought a gamma, than to speak up and remove all doubt."
(apologies to Abe Lincoln)
I know some people who probably have gamma tendencies, however their self-mastery keeps it from showing. We may have many more quiet gammas who are far more crafty and only strike on occasion. The visible gammas appear to be the ones with no self-control.
I've seen a few of these rage spirals in person. What blows my mind is the person is so caught up in the moment that they can't even see the self-destruction they are committing. Without getting too theological about it, there could be (for some) elements of spiritual pressure, bordering on the demonic. It's similar to a tantrum of physical self-harm like cutting, merely less severe in appearance.
I think at much of the gamma core is a sense of entitlement, sometimes masquerading as a "desire for justice". In the cases I witnessed, there was also a deep sense of being wronged by everyone. One guy I knew was ALMOST paranoid-level convinced that everyone in the whole world was - upon meeting him - seeking to find some way to insult him or control him. He was raised by a toxic domineering mother. He could not accept that 99% of people are just getting through their day, and the carefully noticed insults were nothing more than him reading into everything. I tried to shake him loose of it. It only got worse.
Learn to dump the water in the river and let it flow under the bridge. Sometimes, it's the best thing to do.
A collapsing delusion bubble is serious business and it's seriously dangerous. To them it is a life or death reality to have as their self is identified with the delusion.
@SIGMAGAME Vox, I know that putting together a book of all your posts on gammas over the years would probably be tedious and painful in the extreme, because you'd have to possibly re-read their "cases" even if only partially for minor layout or edits, but think of the service to humanity you would do. The sheer global laughter at Gamma behaviour may well ripple across the quantum fluctuations. Reality might shift. I know there is the risk their squeals will rend the very fabric that keeps portals to hell closed, but, but... perhaps, just perhaps, the shame will be so global they will return to their crevices under rocks from which the internet allowed them to crawl out of.
Also... many of us would laugh, and laugh, and laugh.
And think of the energy of hate that would be generated at you. As a dark lord surely you could us it somehow, perhaps to build wormholes to travel to the stars with. Certainly you would not be short of fuel anyway.
mind you you held a grudge for 500 years that ended in NYC with your head.
Fake News put out by whiny, French SJW types. I'm alive and well.
Perhaps this is off topic. Does anyone here have a take on where in the SSH hierarchy Gonzalo Lira was. He had some insightful videos yet made himself too vulnerable to the Ukraine regime and ultimately killed. I'm starting to consider that he was a Gamma, just egging on the regime.
In the context of his followership, Alpha.
When yesterday, I was skimming through the post before going to bed, I immediately thought a prescient joke about a gamma's reaction to it which I didn't post at the time because Vox clearly indicated that it wasn't the appropriate place and I'm not a gamma.
"Well, I'm not married to a delta, actually I'm not even married or a woman but this is mine opinion how it is to be a woman married to a delta".
Even so watching this gamma-show in the morning caught me by surprise.
The worst part is the tarnishing of Prof. Ransom's good name. How dare he! The Space trilogy is awesome and he is clearly Weston.
This post has convinced me of my gamma-hood, or, more hopefully, of my recovering gamma-hood into delta-hood. It also reminds me that my father is a gamma, and how his gamma rage affected our family growing up.
Warning: gamma wall-of-text below.
Now, as an opening note: I and the rest of my immediate family love my father. He was never physically abusive to us and is often quite giving to those in his immediate circle. He was a good provider and loyal to his wife and children (AFAIK).
That said, my father has very frequent loud gamma rage outs whenever even the smallest thing in his world went wrong. For example, If his beloved television stopped working or cable went out, watch out! He would scream so loud the houses would shake, and wouldn't stop until it was fixed somehow. He would slam doors, pound tables, and then yell at all of us for the smallest thing. He rages like a thunderstorm and doesn't care who he upsets.
I spent many dinners in dead silence at a dinner table, terrified if I made one wrong move my father's rage would turn on me, and praying that the TV started working or whatever problem was magically fixed to make him be nice. We would all take turns either trying to placate him or hiding in our rooms from him; I became quite an expert at fixing his computer, which my mother and sister frequently thanked me for. When they moved to a condo in their retirement, a number of neighbors thought my mother was being physically abused (she never was) from when he would scream, bang, rage, yell, and sulk when the slightest thing went wrong.
He coached me in a number of sports growing up --- except that when things weren't going his way, he would get kicked out of games (again: kid's games) by officials for threatening them. Earl Weaver and Bobby Cox had nothing on my father. Or else he would get into fights with parents in the stands or opposing coaches. Of course this caused me huge embarrassment and shame, and I many times cried at games when this happened, thus embarrassing myself even more.
The short-term results of these gamma rages were that my mother, my sister, and I were completely upset and scared the rest of the day and usually the next. Astonishingly, my father, once the issue was resolved --- technology fixed, game over, problem solved -- he would instantly lose his bad mood, and act as if nothing had happened. And, importantly, never apologized. And when we remained upset or complained at him, he would say, "What did I do?" as if his giant sulking rage fest was nothing, and we were weak for being upset.
The long-term results for me were worse. As stated, I am a gamma, and I likely modeled my behavior on his. I, too, have the rage fests, and burned many bridges in the past. But his gamma rages also encouraged unhealthy, sickening addictions in me that I have only recently grasped and begun to handle. I would hide in my room or leave the house and use these addictions to escape his raging or else deal with my frayed nerves in the wake of his rage.
And once you use an addiction as an escape, it becomes habit. Hence why a gamma's self-delusion bubble can remain intact; if he's constantly escaping into his addiction fantasy world, his delusion bubble cannot be popped. I would bet that gammas constitute the most numerous group of males I find in the 12-Step groups I attend. We are all recovering from addictions we used to hide away from reality, preserving our gamma-delusion bubbles. (In Eugene O'Neill's famous play, The Iceman Cometh, set in a bar with alcoholics, one slow to boil fact comes out that each alcoholic is a secret king -- each talks with grandiosity about what they're going to once they leave the bar and how they're going to change their life, but they never do, simply returning to the bottle. )
And yes, this is a typical gamma wall-of-text post. For that I am sorry.
A heart felt congratulations from me for putting yourself out there in the intent and hope to stop that self-destructive behaviour. If you are interested I'm willing to help pointing you in other directions for guidance than Sigma Game. There's a rather larger difference between recognizing the behaviour and finding the love within your soul. This site I believe is about the first. Others I have found extremely helpful talks about the second. And that is where true salvation lies. When you realize God loves you and you have love inside you, that little annoying fear gnawing away at our souls vanishes and the beauty that was always there inside us surfaces. When we learn that, when we truly know that, the emotional fluctuations stop causing insane behaviour. I'm also on SG, but rarely read my inbox, and I don't know how to see followup comments, without searching, so I'm probably difficult to contact, should that be of interest.
Update: I just remembered Dr. Bill Pettit's self-help solution for the 'Gamma' (as well as the Sigma). It involves duct-tape on your mouth and sitting on your hands until the frothing has resided. I couldn't find a video where he covers it in his own funny way, so I'll just post this other random video of his, that sounds to be full of love as typical for him. I've watched it long ago, but don't remember the content, but don't need to as they all contain the guide towards the beauty of our soul:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgyML6-iM8Q
If you are interested you can follow where that video leads you and you will find that God and love will more frequently fill your life.
Your Gamma-hood sounds, to me, more like learned behavior from the trauma of living in constant rage mood swings from your father.
My condolensces for what you've gone through, but keep at it. Keep working on yourself & I have every confidence you can elevate yourself from the Gamma shackles & into a decent, honest, good man.
Thanks for the story and info. Keep at it.
Shall I hold up a mirror to you and your unpleasant behavior towards me here in the comments? Answering a discussion, not even on your own blog, with swearing and nasty 'shots,' as if taking comments from someone you never have and never will meet seems like an over-reaction. Just a point of data for your consideration.
No, you shouldn't. What you're demonstrating here is the obvious link between Gamma and female behavior.
What I see here is a passive-aggressive and off-topic shot at someone who previously hurt your precious feelings.
Quiet, woman.
Restraint. Learn restraint.
Strength is often the soft response, or no response.
Thanks Rogue, but I'd suggest he is DESCRIBING not SHOWING that he has "overcome his weakness." I'd also look askance at you 'giving respect' to such directed vulgarity directed (or perhaps you didn't see it) at ANY woman on one of Vox's blogs.
And his gammatude is pretty obvious, both in his earlier comments and in his pretending to BE a man such as could give an order to woman he does not know. Secret king, giving smirking orders where he has no authority? VERY gamma. So -- is my girl-gamma-radar stronger than yours or are you trying to encourage him to keep working and MAYBE he will cease being a gamma?
He's got work to do, yes.
Give him one point for just admitting Gamma.
That's relatively rare.
I would give him a point, IF I believed he were doing OTHER than admitting to his behavior as a way to ingratiate/excuse himself to keep from getting 'in trouble/banned' from this 'stack. I wish him well (without caring who he is or if he succeeds) because it's is extremely HARD to changes one's fundamental 'way in the world.'
However, his combination of petty nastiness to me along with his wall-of-text explaining (to the MEN) how he IS recognizing his gamma traits and has been (is intending?) to work on those rings false. I "hear" him chuckling to himself that the MEN fell for his excuses and "desire" to better himself -- even while he continued acting the gamma.
IF he were truly self-reflective and DESIRING to control his gamma, then -- in a discussion on a specific blog of how NOT to be gamma -- he would not have discarded with vitriol an opinion he did not like. You don't see his attempted parting shot: "Quiet woman" to me as entirely typical playacting BY a gamma? (Esp. preceded by his anger and swearing at my suggestion? I've been guessing that this blog, too, is a clean speech area?)
aa, I would "give him that" if he were not so obviously gamma, even while declaiming he is 'fixing' that!
And atom man, I was NOT "asking the guyzzzz" to come defend me. I was offering a REFLECTION TO HIM that this "don't want to be a gamma anymore" guy seemed to want... (Certainly needed!)
I would, do, and HAVE accepted a "quiet woman" from a man who was not a gamma. (If you had been here in the Dark Lord's demesnes over the past 8-10 years ... you'd likely "give me more than one point" for my own "recovery.") His last post to me was just a snarky gamma flouncing off after some woman pointed out his gamma.
I did see his parting shot, and commented to him on it. It was not appropriate.
Yes, I am familiar that you don't need anyone defending you, and I wasn't. The comment to him was for his correction. The comment to you was to note a difference here from what we VP old timers have typically witnessed.
Fact is that we have more than one confessed Gamma here on Sigma Game who at least admit to their current state, and they say they would like to change. After watching too many Gamma blowups on VP and SG over the years, that's kinda refreshing. It's heartening as well if they can succeed.
Can they? We'll see.
You have taken the first step, which is to stop lying to yourself. The road of change is hard, but worth it.
Remember: Iron does not lie, and it is better to walk a path in the wild than be in an echo chamber online.
This is how we know God exists and miracles happen. I never thought I'd see the day I would read a gamma outing himself without excuse or magical solipsism.
Golf clap sir, golf clap. And godspeed on the delta recovery program. It would appear to me based on this relevant comment of yours you may be well entrenched on the path. Carry on.
It's not a wall of text. It's just a lot of substantive information. There is a difference.
I have no problem with it, but its Vox's blog, not mine, so not my call.
Agree - it was well written and introspective. Maybe not everyone maybe likes long comments but some of us do. It keeps the thread party going full-tilt.
I'm always a little sad when a hot thread peters out...
:-(
Thanks.
Gammas are a blend of the worst in male & female psychology: status anxiety, attention-seeking, verbosity, passive aggression, and lurking rapey violence. They feel they are owed respect, as if they really are Alphas and can't understand why no one sees it.
I don't know if any other SSH group has such a false self-image, such innate, shearing wrongness.
They put me in mind of Dune's Count Fenring, he should have been the Kwisatz Haderach but alas was just a highly dangerous eunuch.
This is something I keep wondering - I know that women don't fit in the SSH. That said, there are an awful lot of gamma attributes that are present in the most intolerable women.
I don't think I've seen a woman rage-spiral though, that I can recall. Nor a flounce. But all the gamma precursor stuff seems similar. Posturing, condescending language, some secret king type attitude. The wind-up is similar, but the pitch is different.
According to Ed Dutton, most witchcraft convictions were to do with women murdering their husbands, usually by poison; they just tacked witchcraft on top , I guess for spice.
There is something unrestrained in female violence, and I think Gammas are very female (lots of gays have Gamma traits) so they will tend to a dishonourable, all-out, no-mercy approach. Hence Vox's admonition to never apologise to SJWs - they have no concept of honour so just see it as weakness.
VD introduced the term "Secret King". It is the perfect description. He's that teenager in High School who hated the starting quarterback and the head cheerleader because he wasn't the former dating the latter.
Oh lord, the note. Why do they have to write notes? Nothing like a wall of text handwritten about how you have been seducing him (when you never even noticed him, certainly not like that), all stained, creased and sweaty around the edges from being carried around in his anxious palm for God-knows-how-long. Horrifying. You just know without some kind of outside intervention it's going to escalate from there and you are very likely in real physical danger.
I mean, I suppose the note can be seen as a sort of snake's rattle. Pretty sure it has never, ever worked to win over the girl, but it sure will put her on notice.
I constantly crap on white-knighting, but there are occasional times where it’s warranted.
That's gross! Totally reminds me of Ben Shapiro's mannerisms though. It was an engaging read.
Relating it with you suddenly 2nd person in the memory - sounds like he recasts everything with him as centre, controlling hub to which all else refers. These people are often very theatrical, as if producer/director/main actor, others roped in as bit parts & love interests & villains. Vox is probably listed as Main Villain on several films on Gamma IMDB (but was previously Best Friend).