We Should Do Something
Unsought advice often comes from the most unsuitable
It’s always easier to come up with solutions to other people’s problems than it is to find them for our own. And ironically, it is often those who are observably least suited to provide useful advice to others who are most inclined to do so.
One of the things you’ll often hear here is my admonition to “stop helping”. While I understand that many people get a dopamine rush out of offering unrequested advice, solutions, theoretical improvements, and what they somehow believe to be help to others, it is always wise to keep in mind that unsought assistance is seldom appreciated, because it is usually as annoying as it is useless and unnecessary.
Stop helping.
Strangely enough, I have observed that it is usually those who most like to offer unwanted advice and assistance who are most eager to avoid providing any help when it is actually requested of them.
The Alpha likes to help by taking charge.
The Bravo by laying down the law.
The Delta by doing this or that.
The Gamma thinks his own will IS helping.
The Omega hopes by helping quickly he'll be left alone again.
The Sigma is nowhere to be found.
And this too, wasn't to help.
The futility of unsolicited advice is best realized in the reaction to solicited advice. Over the years, I have repeatedly been asked for advice by the less fit on how to begin the journey to physical wellness. Invariably, my answer is "Start with two things. First, do what you need to do to get a good night's sleep. Second, go for a walk after dinner." Invariably, the very dissatisfied response is: "What? No. I want to know how you do it." And there it is, the Kung Fu Panda moment missed with them failing to realize that there is no secret sauce. The seeker of advice typically wants a shortcut to avoid having to renounce old ways.