Would you purchase a hot race car in need of a major overhaul? No, because as you race down the speedway of life that car would likely seize up and you’d suddenly find yourself tumbling down that highway in a hot ball of flame to the sounds of your own horrifically terrifying screams. Instead, find yourself a safe reliable dependable vehicle that doesn’t need much work. Settle for a 4, 5 or 6 homemaking cutie with no tattoos and no drama.
Unfortunately for you apparently, another living human being is not a car. But, hope is on the horizon as fleshbots are rendered more lifelike day by day.
I truly hope you find satisfaction copulating with the machine of your dreams.
Someday, Sweet Prince, you'll find your reliable vehicle. I just know it.
I spent nearly 2 years of my teen years trying to save a girl, unable to see I was desperately attempting to be the hero.
The relationship ended began with her cheating on her current BF with myself and suprise, suprise ended with her cheating on me. In hindsight the pain of finding out was a bucket of cold water in the face and changed the course of my life dramatically.
Pain is a damn good thing for some of us idiot men.
The things that Vox is saying about women fundamentally may seem critical or derogatory, but that's just because of how the reader is interpreting them. Solipsism and lack-of-empathy, for example. He's not implying that women should have empathy; he's just pointing out that they don't. That's not bad, it just is what it is, because women evolved the way they did for reasons. (It may seem bad to men, but only if we assume that women should be like men, which they aren't.)
Women being reactive, policing the discussion, etc. is an entirely different matter. That's just being a jerk. Don't.
There is a lot of misery in this life caused by unrealistic expectations of other people and many never really figure this out. I can honestly say that every bad relationship experience in my life was my fault because I chose that path. Some of it is being retarded and some of it is knowing better, but pretending to be Jim from Wild Kingdom for the fun of it.
Grounding your expectations of other people can bring you peace that cannot be acquired any other way and I don't just mean with women. It can be your employer or friends. It can be tough to do because you have to look at your own stupid assumptions and admit that they're stupid. That's too hard to admit for some and will cause a man to slog through life in misery when they should've ended the relationship years ago.
Once you marry a woman, she will still be the same person she was before, for better or worse. Once she marries you, you will still be the same person, for better or worse. Sometimes it’s better to want what you don’t have than to have what you don’t want. Can people change? Certainly, if they confess, repent and do what they can to make amends; but all of that should happen before rings, ceremonies and throwing rice.
> but all of that should happen before rings, ceremonies and throwing rice.
Should. Meaning, doesn't.
People need paths that work, not paths of flagellation.
Also, people change constantly even if they have repeating patterns. Ive never before heard someone say a woman or man was the same before and after marriage.
Same with before and after kids?
In your efforts to get to a point of preference, you are moving away from observable reality.
Had a friend who has since passed who wasted his life White Knighting. Had a penchant for strippers, and if that wasn't foolish enough, he eventually married one who already had two kids in tow. Everyone around could see that she was a skank, as she would hit on every man around, but he remained blissfully unaware right up until the bitter end. When he could no longer ignore her cheating, she divorced him. He was devastated, but at the time I could never understand why. She and her terrible kids were never grateful for everything he did for them, and he was always depressed and miserable due to his shitty home life.
He went on to try and be the hero to many others until his untimely death at the age of 58, never finding any measure of happiness.
"It’s no wonder that women find it so difficult to stick to the simplistic script that the Delta has constructed in his mind, or that the hero is bound to be disappointed when the victim he has rescued inevitably fails to do so."
A lot of it is around this, from what I've observed with women.
Because women experience life through emotions, they want to feel the full range of them. Anger, sadness, hope, joy, etc.
The script that the Delta has written them, infantilizing them, doesn't allow such deviations. It only gives them JOY! (TM) and THANKS! (TM) towards the Delta for being saved. And in an infantile manner, such that it's not true or to the full extent.
So, to the woman that is the "To-Be-Saved" she's like a cocaine addict. She's felt a more wide range of emotions, all negative, than the normal woman. That's what she's used to feeling. She literally doesn't feel alive if she doesn't feel these emotions. So, when the Delta script doesn't let her, she acts out. She invents reasons to do so. She picks at the emotional wounds, they bleed, and the fights start.
The Delta lashes out, because he doesn't understand why his Princess is acting Dumb and not doing what she should. Why-oh-Why don't you just follow the script like you ought? I want to save you! Don't you see! It would just be so EASY if you just avoided the bad habits you do! But he doesn't understand the cocaine addiction, and her needs. Instead, though, he keeps lashing out. He loves the image of her, in his head, and lashes out at the real her for not living up to the Platonic ideal.
Ironically, if he acted as a mean Alpha to keep to the straight and narrow, she'd get the highs she needed, while also reforming her life. But that's how, "Mean guys!" (TM) treat his princess.
Anyways, they go back and forth. As an infantilized human, the woman can't really feel like she wants to. She pushes boundaries and backs the Delta into a corner. Eventually, what I've always seen is that one of them puts down "Bright red line!" (TM) that should not be crossed.
Obviously, one of them crosses it.
Either the man because he's tired of not being heard and listened to, and the pent up resentment lashes out. Or her because she wants a big emotional high and is done.
Divorce, physical fight, anything can and will happen. It's sad.
And thus, the narcissist and co-dependent Delta relationship dies the natural death it is fated to - if left unchanged.
Could you give more clarity on the difference between an alpha being mean to keep her on the straight-and-narrow and a delta lashing out when she goes off-script?
You have to remember that the Delta is acting from a lack of abundance. For him, a lot of the world is made up of red lines. Conflict avoidance.
Go big or go home.
So, he stews at work until he quits.
Waits to ask for the promotion until he knows he'll get it or until he'll quit.
Waits to say something in a relationship until they're fighting words.
Etc.
Where as the Alpha and Bravo, they don't. They have an abundance. They live the mantra of Vox's, "Fail faster" in everything they can. I'm a bravo, so I just see things, not live the Alpha, but if I have an issue with my wife I just say it. It might lead to heated words, but we go to bed at peace. There's none of this stupid points keeping or emotional build up that happens in Delta Game Playing! (TM) where one of the relationship is always losing in his head.
If someone's playing a game in the Delta's head, he's always losing, he just doesn't know it yet.
So, the Alpha puts down lines. And they're followed or not. But they usually seem to be put WAY before it's a big red line. Or, if it is, he just follows through. Doesn't through a tantrum like a child, nor allow her back. She gets her ups and her downs, or is just gone. But there's not any undercurrent of subversion, or game playing. It's all out in the open.
The alpha and the bravo also don't WANT to be all of a woman's world. That'd be exhausting. They want her to rely on Church, women, friends, etc for human needs. The Delta co-dependent, again out of what seems to be a lack of abundance, seems to be afraid she'll build the ability to rely on someone other than him. And, to be fair, when the main attraction of a Delta is reliability... That's not unreasonable to be afraid of.
So, with the Alpha, she has a world where she can be an adult, make adult decisions to change or not. She can get her highs and lows from him, from her girl friends, from movies/books, children, whatever.
He can guide her, or not. Depends on the Alpha/Bravo. But the conflict avoidant Delta has almost no hope in a narcissistic relationship. I would advise anyone, obviously, to avoid one. But those least able to deal with it seem to be the ones most inclined towards it.
Really interesting perspective. You see this dynamic particularly with cluster B personalities, they truly don't feel alive if they aren't experiencing an emotional extreme. Give them a peaceful life with little to no drama and it's pretty much the worst thing that ever happened to them.
When you learn to recognize the behavior patterns, you learn who can genuinely be helped and who is simply looking for the next victim to love-bomb and then destroy.
Yeah, it's awful. Wish I could say I had less experience with it. At least I do now.
It's something that, once you get good at identifying the traits of, you instantly get the people out of your life. Like Vox's banning of Gammas - I don't put up with co-dependents or their traits. People that are like that tend to blow up around me these days.
Interesting perspective - you think most all narcissistic relationships involve deltas falling for the manipulative patterns?
I'd suppose that to be true at least the ones that last significant amounts of time.
Although what is difficult to quantify among the ssh is people with narcissistic traits who aren't full on narcissists. I grew up with a mother like this, who's still acting this way in many areas of her life but also can still be a loving mother who doesn't only trade love.
Definitely most interesting part of this substack (to me) and ssh in general is learning and trying to figure out where your parents fall in the ssh and how that may have affected yourself.
No. Narcissism is a behavior trait that can be taken up by any of the SSH, and expresses itself in different ways accordingly. Also, I would say that the co-dependent part of a relationship is necessarily the weaker part of the narcissist/co-dependent relationship, but they both have narcissistic foundations.
IE - they both view the relationship and the world in terms of THEMSELVES. They project their view of the world, what their image of the other is onto the person, the items, the company, the government, etc - instead of what is really, truly there.
Narcissism is not incredibly useful as a behavioral guide. A lot of people have narcissistic traits. Addicts, for instance. The pursuit of the addiction manifests itself in narcissistic behavior. The real problem isn't the narc behavior, it's the addiction and the underlying hole in the person that they attempted to fill by using in the first place. We say they have a 'God-sized hole' they are filling with alcohol (or choose your drug).
The codependent has their own reasons for pursuing these broken people. In my case, it was a fear of abandonment that manifested in early childhood. Divorces, abusive drunks, physical abuse - it all created this confluence where I crafted a childish plan that i'd avoid all the abandonment by finding people that were already broken - addicts or people with serious personality disorders - and repair them to my expected standard. Rescue after rescue. The logic was that a dependent person wouldn't abandon you.
As you'd expect from a plan that someone still in elementary school came up with, there were flaws, holes you can drive a truck through. First, you can't change people externally. They remain who they are until they decide to be different. Second, let's say you did change them - you'd be enabling them to leave you by repairing them. So you spend your life reliving your childhood and trying to do it right. And failing.
The path to recovery was humility - understanding that what I was doing was wrong and couldn't continue. Realizing what I was doing was _control_ over the addict or lookalike for my own benefit, not theirs. Then, realizing that there was nothing to fear in abandonment. Then, realizing that my plan was childish and that I needed to think about how things should be for the first time since I was a young child. I did my steps, particularly my moral inventory, and identified the larger flaws that left me open to abuse by addicts, and permitted me to try to control them. Understanding that any form of control of others is unhealthy. We can only control ourselves.
Looking in the mirror and understanding myself as a master manipulator was uncomfortable, but necessary. Now I withhold advice, even comment, in most cases. However, you identifying the codependent as the weaker link gave me a good reason to comment. I don't think this is true. The amount of control I wielded over those in my life was breathtaking. Now, i'm only permitted to use it in the service of my employment, and I am judicious about it, since I am conscious of it.
You literally found a way to make the comment all about yourself and you want to tell me that co-dependency isn't a lesser form of narcissism?
Look, our current culture rewards and is controlled by shaming behavior. You shame other people to control them in many social situations today.
This is an inherently feminine behavioral pattern.
The co-dependent uses it to control others. They project onto others the shame they feel of themselves. They don't think of the good of the other, or see the other for who they are, or love them as they ought. They may care for them, but only in the way that the Co-dependent wants to care for them, as something to be possessed.
So yes, you may have had control over others. In a feminine, shameful way. The kind of way that, in other eras, men would have kicked the crap out of other men for behaving like that. And then gone to have beers and made up. Been accepted if you changed and overcame.
But that's not the kind of society that we live in today. Instead, codependents are told you're ok, and allowed just to be miserable, and a victim, and allowed to continue manipulating others
You're wrong. The codependent is the weaker link. It's your own narcissism telling you how important you are and how much control you had... except they left you. You never had any control at all.
This was what the overall brutality of your post 2 days ago made me think about. Who is this advice for, and why is this product being sold in this way?
Must be dudes that need brutality to shatter an illusion that's holding them back. Delta and change.
People need to have their ideas challenged, especially us young folks. To have someone ask “Why?” is a profound concept for some, and those are the people who need to be asked it the most.
I have benefited from this Substack in many ways. Vox’s tough love and fearless wisdom has taught me valuable truths such as:
-> Nobody cares
-> You’re not special
-> Nobody owes you anything
It’s been refreshing to hear these, and many others, in Sigma Game. I can’t wait for the book to arrive.
Just like the laws of physics are both limitation and an advantage to be leveraged. So it is with this. Onwards to Victory for all willing to take advantage.
Frictionless surfaces and rigid bodies makes physics approachable
In the same way, the SSH predicts outcomes, but details matter just like friction and flexion.
This might be the first actual social science. I don't think previous ones can predict enough be to useful in the real world, as science must become engineering or some real industry.
Psychology being the closest, but knowing someone is a narcissist doesn't let you predict many things, only that actions will be intended to be self-serving. Its more descriptive than predictive, making it non-sciience.
Losing that desire to be superman is an especially hard thing for a lot of men. Most Deltas and Gammas want to be the hero, who doesn't? But there is a world of difference between wanting a thing and being a thing, and most of the time, the two don't meet.
I have never met a man who believed he wanted to be a superman who was willing to live up to the reality of it. Only a boyish cartoon version since that's all there really is.
Men who won't give up the superhero construct are peter pans. Little boys in men's bodies and to marry one is a form of child abuse.
I don't think there's a problem with *wanting* to be a hero: that urge to do better and to be better is fundamental to the nature of most men. An alpha and a delta will disagree on what "better" means, but that desire will remain.
Where people trip up is when it comes to the old Sun Tzu line in the main article. If you believe the way to win a woman's heart is to be a white knight for her, you don't know the enemy. If you believe you're a sigma when you're a gamma, you don't know yourself.
Learning about myself through this substack has been one of the highlights of 2024 for me. Thanks to the author and the commenters. The actual experiences, anecdotes and examples greatly help understanding.
Would you purchase a hot race car in need of a major overhaul? No, because as you race down the speedway of life that car would likely seize up and you’d suddenly find yourself tumbling down that highway in a hot ball of flame to the sounds of your own horrifically terrifying screams. Instead, find yourself a safe reliable dependable vehicle that doesn’t need much work. Settle for a 4, 5 or 6 homemaking cutie with no tattoos and no drama.
Unfortunately for you apparently, another living human being is not a car. But, hope is on the horizon as fleshbots are rendered more lifelike day by day.
I truly hope you find satisfaction copulating with the machine of your dreams.
Someday, Sweet Prince, you'll find your reliable vehicle. I just know it.
A lot of mediocre race car drivers blame the car...
I spent nearly 2 years of my teen years trying to save a girl, unable to see I was desperately attempting to be the hero.
The relationship ended began with her cheating on her current BF with myself and suprise, suprise ended with her cheating on me. In hindsight the pain of finding out was a bucket of cold water in the face and changed the course of my life dramatically.
Pain is a damn good thing for some of us idiot men.
Step one: topple the pedestal.
The things that Vox is saying about women fundamentally may seem critical or derogatory, but that's just because of how the reader is interpreting them. Solipsism and lack-of-empathy, for example. He's not implying that women should have empathy; he's just pointing out that they don't. That's not bad, it just is what it is, because women evolved the way they did for reasons. (It may seem bad to men, but only if we assume that women should be like men, which they aren't.)
Women being reactive, policing the discussion, etc. is an entirely different matter. That's just being a jerk. Don't.
There is a lot of misery in this life caused by unrealistic expectations of other people and many never really figure this out. I can honestly say that every bad relationship experience in my life was my fault because I chose that path. Some of it is being retarded and some of it is knowing better, but pretending to be Jim from Wild Kingdom for the fun of it.
Grounding your expectations of other people can bring you peace that cannot be acquired any other way and I don't just mean with women. It can be your employer or friends. It can be tough to do because you have to look at your own stupid assumptions and admit that they're stupid. That's too hard to admit for some and will cause a man to slog through life in misery when they should've ended the relationship years ago.
I showed Sigma Game to a regular blue collar guy for the first time and he was like “Yes, yes, yes, that’s my problem!” no whataboutism at all.
It's not right to keep blue collar guys chained in your basement you know.
More seriously, the reaction is interesting.
Once you marry a woman, she will still be the same person she was before, for better or worse. Once she marries you, you will still be the same person, for better or worse. Sometimes it’s better to want what you don’t have than to have what you don’t want. Can people change? Certainly, if they confess, repent and do what they can to make amends; but all of that should happen before rings, ceremonies and throwing rice.
> but all of that should happen before rings, ceremonies and throwing rice.
Should. Meaning, doesn't.
People need paths that work, not paths of flagellation.
Also, people change constantly even if they have repeating patterns. Ive never before heard someone say a woman or man was the same before and after marriage.
Same with before and after kids?
In your efforts to get to a point of preference, you are moving away from observable reality.
Had a friend who has since passed who wasted his life White Knighting. Had a penchant for strippers, and if that wasn't foolish enough, he eventually married one who already had two kids in tow. Everyone around could see that she was a skank, as she would hit on every man around, but he remained blissfully unaware right up until the bitter end. When he could no longer ignore her cheating, she divorced him. He was devastated, but at the time I could never understand why. She and her terrible kids were never grateful for everything he did for them, and he was always depressed and miserable due to his shitty home life.
He went on to try and be the hero to many others until his untimely death at the age of 58, never finding any measure of happiness.
Wow...that... that was horrible.
"It’s no wonder that women find it so difficult to stick to the simplistic script that the Delta has constructed in his mind, or that the hero is bound to be disappointed when the victim he has rescued inevitably fails to do so."
A lot of it is around this, from what I've observed with women.
Because women experience life through emotions, they want to feel the full range of them. Anger, sadness, hope, joy, etc.
The script that the Delta has written them, infantilizing them, doesn't allow such deviations. It only gives them JOY! (TM) and THANKS! (TM) towards the Delta for being saved. And in an infantile manner, such that it's not true or to the full extent.
So, to the woman that is the "To-Be-Saved" she's like a cocaine addict. She's felt a more wide range of emotions, all negative, than the normal woman. That's what she's used to feeling. She literally doesn't feel alive if she doesn't feel these emotions. So, when the Delta script doesn't let her, she acts out. She invents reasons to do so. She picks at the emotional wounds, they bleed, and the fights start.
The Delta lashes out, because he doesn't understand why his Princess is acting Dumb and not doing what she should. Why-oh-Why don't you just follow the script like you ought? I want to save you! Don't you see! It would just be so EASY if you just avoided the bad habits you do! But he doesn't understand the cocaine addiction, and her needs. Instead, though, he keeps lashing out. He loves the image of her, in his head, and lashes out at the real her for not living up to the Platonic ideal.
Ironically, if he acted as a mean Alpha to keep to the straight and narrow, she'd get the highs she needed, while also reforming her life. But that's how, "Mean guys!" (TM) treat his princess.
Anyways, they go back and forth. As an infantilized human, the woman can't really feel like she wants to. She pushes boundaries and backs the Delta into a corner. Eventually, what I've always seen is that one of them puts down "Bright red line!" (TM) that should not be crossed.
Obviously, one of them crosses it.
Either the man because he's tired of not being heard and listened to, and the pent up resentment lashes out. Or her because she wants a big emotional high and is done.
Divorce, physical fight, anything can and will happen. It's sad.
And thus, the narcissist and co-dependent Delta relationship dies the natural death it is fated to - if left unchanged.
Could you give more clarity on the difference between an alpha being mean to keep her on the straight-and-narrow and a delta lashing out when she goes off-script?
GH gets into it a lot.
You have to remember that the Delta is acting from a lack of abundance. For him, a lot of the world is made up of red lines. Conflict avoidance.
Go big or go home.
So, he stews at work until he quits.
Waits to ask for the promotion until he knows he'll get it or until he'll quit.
Waits to say something in a relationship until they're fighting words.
Etc.
Where as the Alpha and Bravo, they don't. They have an abundance. They live the mantra of Vox's, "Fail faster" in everything they can. I'm a bravo, so I just see things, not live the Alpha, but if I have an issue with my wife I just say it. It might lead to heated words, but we go to bed at peace. There's none of this stupid points keeping or emotional build up that happens in Delta Game Playing! (TM) where one of the relationship is always losing in his head.
If someone's playing a game in the Delta's head, he's always losing, he just doesn't know it yet.
So, the Alpha puts down lines. And they're followed or not. But they usually seem to be put WAY before it's a big red line. Or, if it is, he just follows through. Doesn't through a tantrum like a child, nor allow her back. She gets her ups and her downs, or is just gone. But there's not any undercurrent of subversion, or game playing. It's all out in the open.
The alpha and the bravo also don't WANT to be all of a woman's world. That'd be exhausting. They want her to rely on Church, women, friends, etc for human needs. The Delta co-dependent, again out of what seems to be a lack of abundance, seems to be afraid she'll build the ability to rely on someone other than him. And, to be fair, when the main attraction of a Delta is reliability... That's not unreasonable to be afraid of.
So, with the Alpha, she has a world where she can be an adult, make adult decisions to change or not. She can get her highs and lows from him, from her girl friends, from movies/books, children, whatever.
He can guide her, or not. Depends on the Alpha/Bravo. But the conflict avoidant Delta has almost no hope in a narcissistic relationship. I would advise anyone, obviously, to avoid one. But those least able to deal with it seem to be the ones most inclined towards it.
It is what it is.
Are you telling her no and she did wrong because youre afraid she will leave you, or because you will leave her if she keeps it up?
Thats simplified. Replace ""leaving her" for whatever the consequences will be for unacceptable behavior.
Really interesting perspective. You see this dynamic particularly with cluster B personalities, they truly don't feel alive if they aren't experiencing an emotional extreme. Give them a peaceful life with little to no drama and it's pretty much the worst thing that ever happened to them.
When you learn to recognize the behavior patterns, you learn who can genuinely be helped and who is simply looking for the next victim to love-bomb and then destroy.
Yeah, it's awful. Wish I could say I had less experience with it. At least I do now.
It's something that, once you get good at identifying the traits of, you instantly get the people out of your life. Like Vox's banning of Gammas - I don't put up with co-dependents or their traits. People that are like that tend to blow up around me these days.
Interesting perspective - you think most all narcissistic relationships involve deltas falling for the manipulative patterns?
I'd suppose that to be true at least the ones that last significant amounts of time.
Although what is difficult to quantify among the ssh is people with narcissistic traits who aren't full on narcissists. I grew up with a mother like this, who's still acting this way in many areas of her life but also can still be a loving mother who doesn't only trade love.
Definitely most interesting part of this substack (to me) and ssh in general is learning and trying to figure out where your parents fall in the ssh and how that may have affected yourself.
Good question,
No. Narcissism is a behavior trait that can be taken up by any of the SSH, and expresses itself in different ways accordingly. Also, I would say that the co-dependent part of a relationship is necessarily the weaker part of the narcissist/co-dependent relationship, but they both have narcissistic foundations.
IE - they both view the relationship and the world in terms of THEMSELVES. They project their view of the world, what their image of the other is onto the person, the items, the company, the government, etc - instead of what is really, truly there.
Narcissism is not incredibly useful as a behavioral guide. A lot of people have narcissistic traits. Addicts, for instance. The pursuit of the addiction manifests itself in narcissistic behavior. The real problem isn't the narc behavior, it's the addiction and the underlying hole in the person that they attempted to fill by using in the first place. We say they have a 'God-sized hole' they are filling with alcohol (or choose your drug).
The codependent has their own reasons for pursuing these broken people. In my case, it was a fear of abandonment that manifested in early childhood. Divorces, abusive drunks, physical abuse - it all created this confluence where I crafted a childish plan that i'd avoid all the abandonment by finding people that were already broken - addicts or people with serious personality disorders - and repair them to my expected standard. Rescue after rescue. The logic was that a dependent person wouldn't abandon you.
As you'd expect from a plan that someone still in elementary school came up with, there were flaws, holes you can drive a truck through. First, you can't change people externally. They remain who they are until they decide to be different. Second, let's say you did change them - you'd be enabling them to leave you by repairing them. So you spend your life reliving your childhood and trying to do it right. And failing.
The path to recovery was humility - understanding that what I was doing was wrong and couldn't continue. Realizing what I was doing was _control_ over the addict or lookalike for my own benefit, not theirs. Then, realizing that there was nothing to fear in abandonment. Then, realizing that my plan was childish and that I needed to think about how things should be for the first time since I was a young child. I did my steps, particularly my moral inventory, and identified the larger flaws that left me open to abuse by addicts, and permitted me to try to control them. Understanding that any form of control of others is unhealthy. We can only control ourselves.
Looking in the mirror and understanding myself as a master manipulator was uncomfortable, but necessary. Now I withhold advice, even comment, in most cases. However, you identifying the codependent as the weaker link gave me a good reason to comment. I don't think this is true. The amount of control I wielded over those in my life was breathtaking. Now, i'm only permitted to use it in the service of my employment, and I am judicious about it, since I am conscious of it.
You literally found a way to make the comment all about yourself and you want to tell me that co-dependency isn't a lesser form of narcissism?
Look, our current culture rewards and is controlled by shaming behavior. You shame other people to control them in many social situations today.
This is an inherently feminine behavioral pattern.
The co-dependent uses it to control others. They project onto others the shame they feel of themselves. They don't think of the good of the other, or see the other for who they are, or love them as they ought. They may care for them, but only in the way that the Co-dependent wants to care for them, as something to be possessed.
So yes, you may have had control over others. In a feminine, shameful way. The kind of way that, in other eras, men would have kicked the crap out of other men for behaving like that. And then gone to have beers and made up. Been accepted if you changed and overcame.
But that's not the kind of society that we live in today. Instead, codependents are told you're ok, and allowed just to be miserable, and a victim, and allowed to continue manipulating others
It's toxic.
You're wrong. The codependent is the weaker link. It's your own narcissism telling you how important you are and how much control you had... except they left you. You never had any control at all.
Influence != power
This was what the overall brutality of your post 2 days ago made me think about. Who is this advice for, and why is this product being sold in this way?
Must be dudes that need brutality to shatter an illusion that's holding them back. Delta and change.
Cool
It's not brutality. It's just indifference. If I was choosing to be brutal, you'd know it.
Indifference can be a form of brutality and often is.
As the old gym saying goes: “No pain, no gain.”
People need to have their ideas challenged, especially us young folks. To have someone ask “Why?” is a profound concept for some, and those are the people who need to be asked it the most.
I have benefited from this Substack in many ways. Vox’s tough love and fearless wisdom has taught me valuable truths such as:
-> Nobody cares
-> You’re not special
-> Nobody owes you anything
It’s been refreshing to hear these, and many others, in Sigma Game. I can’t wait for the book to arrive.
I hope you realize if nobody cares, you're nothing special and nobody owes you anything that is all you will receive in return.
No one will care about you. You will not be special to anyone. And no one owes you anything, not even the truth.
Is this what you want?
This "program" has been promoted on Youtube for over a decade. It's not original thought and is, indeed, a program. To program people. Search "Sigma".
Just like the laws of physics are both limitation and an advantage to be leveraged. So it is with this. Onwards to Victory for all willing to take advantage.
Frictionless surfaces and rigid bodies makes physics approachable
In the same way, the SSH predicts outcomes, but details matter just like friction and flexion.
This might be the first actual social science. I don't think previous ones can predict enough be to useful in the real world, as science must become engineering or some real industry.
Psychology being the closest, but knowing someone is a narcissist doesn't let you predict many things, only that actions will be intended to be self-serving. Its more descriptive than predictive, making it non-sciience.
Agreed.
Losing that desire to be superman is an especially hard thing for a lot of men. Most Deltas and Gammas want to be the hero, who doesn't? But there is a world of difference between wanting a thing and being a thing, and most of the time, the two don't meet.
People are who they are. Especially women.
I have never met a man who believed he wanted to be a superman who was willing to live up to the reality of it. Only a boyish cartoon version since that's all there really is.
Men who won't give up the superhero construct are peter pans. Little boys in men's bodies and to marry one is a form of child abuse.
I don't think there's a problem with *wanting* to be a hero: that urge to do better and to be better is fundamental to the nature of most men. An alpha and a delta will disagree on what "better" means, but that desire will remain.
Where people trip up is when it comes to the old Sun Tzu line in the main article. If you believe the way to win a woman's heart is to be a white knight for her, you don't know the enemy. If you believe you're a sigma when you're a gamma, you don't know yourself.
If you see a woman as your enemy that you need to know in order to conquer then what kind of relationship are you imagining?
Colonialism? Empire building with "woman" as the captured land mass?
How in the hell would that ever work? It won't.
It's a metaphor.
A stupid one unless the aim is to conquer in battle.
The book is called The Art of War, not How To Win Love.
is it me or the recent posts are fire?
To borrow the gen Z slang:
Vox is cooking.
skull stew!
The recent posts have been hitting a little too close to home for some folks. Once I noticed, I grabbed my popcorn.
That’s where the truth is.
I expect nothing less but home runs by Vox.
They certainly burn people.
As I have learned here, the brutal slap of truth is preferable to the warm cocoon of self delusion. Living self aware is ultimately freeing.
The sting is the beginning of healing, the way it hurts to set a bone.
Learning about myself through this substack has been one of the highlights of 2024 for me. Thanks to the author and the commenters. The actual experiences, anecdotes and examples greatly help understanding.