When my husband and I were dating, there were a handful of times where I must admit now years later, I was playing some ridiculous mind games (@%/& testing). Husband responded appropriately and walked out. I chased after him and apologized profusely. If he had stayed, the relationship would have ended one way or another. We laugh about it because it was so stupid but, the fact is, I couldn't have respected a doormat. Doormats aren't sexy.
When my ex-wife pulled the pin on our marriage of 19 years, she used that last line of “femmesprache” word for word “I love you, but I’m not in love with you”. Back then it cut me like a knife. All these years later I’d totally forgotten, until I read this story.
He’s a stalker = He’s mad because I stopped having sex with him
Jup, know a girl (~7,5 ) with a stalker. She was warned her against the guy, but like with all the other warnings she didn't heed it.
And of course she left a Delta with a good job, house etc. Cause he wanted children. And she didn't ( think of the environment). Now she is a single mom by some other guy.
Met a tall slender attractive blond at work when I was about 30. She had the look I liked. Asked her out. To my surprise, she eagerly said yes. During the date learned she had three kids and an ex-husband. Said to self, "So, that's probably the reason she said yes." Bailed.
In a functioning tribe of sufficient good genes, the Alpha's wife will make sure that the Deltas' wives are toeing the no-cheating line. Exiling the cheaters, say. Just as she ideally will match up wives for the Deltas. (And sometimes appoint a successor wife for her son.)
These are the tribes that birth a lot of quality Deltas.
Women parasitize off the male hierarchy. But some of them do care enough to maintain it.
Was in the same situation as the Delta in the story. Vox's writings on the matters of SSH and game back on Alpha Game actually pulled me back from the brink of doing what the Delta in the story did - my life has been immeasurably better since. It's possible to break from the Delta patterns, but one has to give the exact same attention (or more) to the advice of higher-status men as you do to women's sob stories. You will find one to be genuinely logical and helpful; the other more useless than a JBP lecture.
In the ether you come across stories like this sad sack all the time. Maybe shake your head; maybe have a chuckle at their expense; and, then you move on. I never previously connected the (willing) victims of these stories to a whole category but ... yeah, it check's out.
Another useful lesson from my father, which I am passing on to my son -- "women are people" or to use a more local expression "don't put women on pedestals," which is the source of this weakness.
As a post-inspired aside, I wonder if an abortion destroying gambit would be to couple mandatory paternity testing statewide to any availability for legalized abortion.
Deltas are primed to be lead. If they're not, they'll focus on what they think is important. Get their respect, sell them on the vision, give them focus, and "pat them on the back" once in awhile and they'll bust their ass for you. Lead them.
This is very true too. High conscientiousness is one of their defining characteristics, but you are right they often can't understand that their internal standard is not what is in charge.
Exactly. I am not even saying they are wrong. It just doesn't matter what they think.
They have no interest in taking any responsibility for the overall standards either.
When I was more junior I used to be upset that management didn't value my strategic mindset. In reality I was hired to write lots of code and I was focusing instead on work my manager didn't care about. I was the problem.
I'm lucky a few of the older folks took me under their wing and helped me move up on the food chain.
Years ago I had an ER nurse I was friendly with tell me that the number one question asked privately by women brought in for a rape kit was some variation of "Will it be able to show if I consented or not?". He said that the staff usually responded "Why, what happened?" and found out the rape claim was bullshit. Usually by the time she reached an ER she had lied a lot and was in too deep to back out. This was 25+ years ago.
Wow. What amazing timing (at least for me, as I'll get to below)
The first thought I had was what an HR person asked when I returned to a company - "What do you think will be different this time?". That's a valid question should the alley cat want to return.
Reason it's funny is I found that the x-wife had turned up at a fellowship Sunday event that I help run, two weeks ago (when I wasn't there) after a year off the radar. When the guys told me, all I could think about was that maybe her therapy progressed to a point where she wasn't avoiding me or my friends (or their wives) any longer. I sure as hell hope it wasn't that harpy's 3d chess move to lure me back into her talons.
He's 100%. In six months, I was out of debt with a years take-home in the bank, and a new, younger, prettier woman. And let me tell the older fellas here, for a woman in her late 50s like Herself, the pickins are dire. Just as I find myself a very fit, not bad looking 61 year old. Nothing amazing, but clearly pick of the litter around here. After I read that piece I changed and lightened up. Women I ran into seemed to notice something, and still do because I meet them all the time and it's easy to start a conversation.
So I don't want Herself back. I like my life. It would be just like Sister Mary Buzzkill Herself to swoop in on her broom and make my life miserable. I'll have no part of it.
Congratulations man! It feels refreshing to read this as a younger guy. I read that piece when it was posted as well, one of my favourites by Vox. A real white pill.
BTW - Herself left for the exact reasons in that piece I linked. She put everything before me - Fun, Work, Travel, Grandkids, Church ministries. I think I met half a dozen women like her before I met the current girlfriend. I could sniff the crazy out before we finished appetizers. Every one of them you could tell the exact reason the husband bolted or they realized leaving was a mistake. Go for widows guys. They are a level or two up.
They aren't shy about telling you how stronk and independent they are.
There was one that didn't want kids, but then went and got herself a Chinese one. When the husband left, she got herself another one. Didn't like my remark that it was a phase with all the kool kids to say you're a lesbian in college, she (her Chinese daughter) would grow out of it.
Two of them lived only for the kids, which were about to go to college. Clear sign I'd be back to being #2 or #4. They also wanted exactly what Herself wanted. They weren't shy about that either - Travel, fun, blah blah blah.
Had one do the 'girl boss' thing to the waitress. Looked to me for affirmation only to have me tell her later that was embarrassing.
I talk a bit and listen. All you have to do is listen. women in their late 40s-50s aren't shy.
It looks like a young nephew is turning into a Delta on this point.
About to turn 18, and is entangled with a 16 year old cliche of girl that pulls every Wounded Bird trick in the book on him.
And he falls for it over and over. Catches her red handed hanging out with other dudes all the time, and yet has no clue.
I've wondered if the fact he won't listen or accept the facts in front of his eyes is because he's a teenager.
After this post, it's quite possible he's a delta.
he's over 6' and not a bad looking kid, but he is behaving in this respect like the described Delta.
It looks like a young nephew is turning into a Delta on this point.
About to turn 18, and is entangled with a 16 year old cliche of girl that pulls every Wounded Bird trick in the book on him.
And he falls for it over and over. Catches her red handed hanging out with other dudes all the time, and yet has no clue.
I've wondered if the fact he won't listen or accept the facts in front of his eyes is because he's a teenager.
After this post, it's quite possible he's a delta.
he's over 6' and not a bad looking kid, but he is behaving in this respect like the described Delta.
When my husband and I were dating, there were a handful of times where I must admit now years later, I was playing some ridiculous mind games (@%/& testing). Husband responded appropriately and walked out. I chased after him and apologized profusely. If he had stayed, the relationship would have ended one way or another. We laugh about it because it was so stupid but, the fact is, I couldn't have respected a doormat. Doormats aren't sexy.
When my ex-wife pulled the pin on our marriage of 19 years, she used that last line of “femmesprache” word for word “I love you, but I’m not in love with you”. Back then it cut me like a knife. All these years later I’d totally forgotten, until I read this story.
He’s a stalker = He’s mad because I stopped having sex with him
Jup, know a girl (~7,5 ) with a stalker. She was warned her against the guy, but like with all the other warnings she didn't heed it.
And of course she left a Delta with a good job, house etc. Cause he wanted children. And she didn't ( think of the environment). Now she is a single mom by some other guy.
The Delta did support her with stuff for the kid.
Met a tall slender attractive blond at work when I was about 30. She had the look I liked. Asked her out. To my surprise, she eagerly said yes. During the date learned she had three kids and an ex-husband. Said to self, "So, that's probably the reason she said yes." Bailed.
In my experience, real victims are open about what happened to them, and have long since shed the tears about it. If she is cryin, she is lyin.
Assuming that Delta-hood has any genetic basis:
In a functioning tribe of sufficient good genes, the Alpha's wife will make sure that the Deltas' wives are toeing the no-cheating line. Exiling the cheaters, say. Just as she ideally will match up wives for the Deltas. (And sometimes appoint a successor wife for her son.)
These are the tribes that birth a lot of quality Deltas.
Women parasitize off the male hierarchy. But some of them do care enough to maintain it.
My read is that Deltahood has a soul/frequency basis
Was in the same situation as the Delta in the story. Vox's writings on the matters of SSH and game back on Alpha Game actually pulled me back from the brink of doing what the Delta in the story did - my life has been immeasurably better since. It's possible to break from the Delta patterns, but one has to give the exact same attention (or more) to the advice of higher-status men as you do to women's sob stories. You will find one to be genuinely logical and helpful; the other more useless than a JBP lecture.
In the ether you come across stories like this sad sack all the time. Maybe shake your head; maybe have a chuckle at their expense; and, then you move on. I never previously connected the (willing) victims of these stories to a whole category but ... yeah, it check's out.
Another useful lesson from my father, which I am passing on to my son -- "women are people" or to use a more local expression "don't put women on pedestals," which is the source of this weakness.
As a post-inspired aside, I wonder if an abortion destroying gambit would be to couple mandatory paternity testing statewide to any availability for legalized abortion.
Everybody plays the fool at least once. But it's amazing how low status men keep playing that part with the same script over and over, and over.
Oh, if only once. I lost track and stopped counting.
Everyone can be deceived and understanding that is a strong defense.
Deltas never learn in the workplace either.
I'm on the promotions committee at work and I tell the Deltas exactly what they need to do to get promoted and they almost never do it.
They think they should be promoted based on what they think is important and not what the business thinks is important.
Deltas are primed to be lead. If they're not, they'll focus on what they think is important. Get their respect, sell them on the vision, give them focus, and "pat them on the back" once in awhile and they'll bust their ass for you. Lead them.
This is very true too. High conscientiousness is one of their defining characteristics, but you are right they often can't understand that their internal standard is not what is in charge.
Exactly. I am not even saying they are wrong. It just doesn't matter what they think.
They have no interest in taking any responsibility for the overall standards either.
When I was more junior I used to be upset that management didn't value my strategic mindset. In reality I was hired to write lots of code and I was focusing instead on work my manager didn't care about. I was the problem.
I'm lucky a few of the older folks took me under their wing and helped me move up on the food chain.
Be careful. That’s what they said over at Bud Lite.
I'm like a moth attracted to a hot burning flame. I'm going to burn. Stop me bros!
My dear bros, let's not be too hasty here. We don't even know how hot she is. The hotter she is, the more likely she's telling the truth.
Years ago I had an ER nurse I was friendly with tell me that the number one question asked privately by women brought in for a rape kit was some variation of "Will it be able to show if I consented or not?". He said that the staff usually responded "Why, what happened?" and found out the rape claim was bullshit. Usually by the time she reached an ER she had lied a lot and was in too deep to back out. This was 25+ years ago.
Brutally true, all of it.
Wow. What amazing timing (at least for me, as I'll get to below)
The first thought I had was what an HR person asked when I returned to a company - "What do you think will be different this time?". That's a valid question should the alley cat want to return.
Reason it's funny is I found that the x-wife had turned up at a fellowship Sunday event that I help run, two weeks ago (when I wasn't there) after a year off the radar. When the guys told me, all I could think about was that maybe her therapy progressed to a point where she wasn't avoiding me or my friends (or their wives) any longer. I sure as hell hope it wasn't that harpy's 3d chess move to lure me back into her talons.
Why?
Because Vox was right. In another piece that I read, exactly when I needed it: https://voxday.net/2023/06/23/a-word-to-the-fearful/
He's 100%. In six months, I was out of debt with a years take-home in the bank, and a new, younger, prettier woman. And let me tell the older fellas here, for a woman in her late 50s like Herself, the pickins are dire. Just as I find myself a very fit, not bad looking 61 year old. Nothing amazing, but clearly pick of the litter around here. After I read that piece I changed and lightened up. Women I ran into seemed to notice something, and still do because I meet them all the time and it's easy to start a conversation.
So I don't want Herself back. I like my life. It would be just like Sister Mary Buzzkill Herself to swoop in on her broom and make my life miserable. I'll have no part of it.
You’ve got it figured out.
Congratulations man! It feels refreshing to read this as a younger guy. I read that piece when it was posted as well, one of my favourites by Vox. A real white pill.
BTW - Herself left for the exact reasons in that piece I linked. She put everything before me - Fun, Work, Travel, Grandkids, Church ministries. I think I met half a dozen women like her before I met the current girlfriend. I could sniff the crazy out before we finished appetizers. Every one of them you could tell the exact reason the husband bolted or they realized leaving was a mistake. Go for widows guys. They are a level or two up.
What were the tells that they were crazy? That the husbands bolted, in their words, which I don’t even know are true? Or the regrets about leaving?
Tells vary for each woman. Start here though: https://sigmagame.substack.com/p/intimidation
They aren't shy about telling you how stronk and independent they are.
There was one that didn't want kids, but then went and got herself a Chinese one. When the husband left, she got herself another one. Didn't like my remark that it was a phase with all the kool kids to say you're a lesbian in college, she (her Chinese daughter) would grow out of it.
Two of them lived only for the kids, which were about to go to college. Clear sign I'd be back to being #2 or #4. They also wanted exactly what Herself wanted. They weren't shy about that either - Travel, fun, blah blah blah.
Had one do the 'girl boss' thing to the waitress. Looked to me for affirmation only to have me tell her later that was embarrassing.
I talk a bit and listen. All you have to do is listen. women in their late 40s-50s aren't shy.