The Tattoo Fail

An obstacle is not a boost

The irony, of course, is that this cheerfully tattooed woman with senpaku eyes is attempting to deny the very traits that she is openly advertising. Tattoos cannot be “normalized” because they are quite literally designed to be abnormal.

Tattoos are social signifiers and they signify three important things:

• Short time preferences

• Poor judgment

• Susceptibility to social influences

There is no amount of explanations for how meaningful the butterfly on your shoulder or the target on your tramp stamp is for you that alters the message that you are sending to others.

Most people simply fail to understand that a high-status man embracing a low-status signifier to demonstrate how bulletproof his high status is should not be taken as an actual signifier of high status. Let me type this very slowly on behalf of those who find the concept hard to grasp.

If you’re a platinum-selling rock star or a professional soccer player, you can literally tattoo FUCK on your forehead and it will not harm your employment prospects. That doesn’t mean that tattooing FUCK on your forehead will make people think you are a rock star or professional athlete. Their high status is not signified by the tattoos, but by their occupations.

If you’re a woman, tattoos signify you’re either a slut or a whore. That doesn’t mean you actually are one or the other any more than wearing a t-shirt that says “Girls Gone Wild” does, it means that every one will assume you are. Tattoos on women are rather like short hair; the fact that you have to be beautiful to be able to still look attractive with them doesn’t mean they actually make you look more attractive.

If you’re a man, tattoos primarily signify that you’re not conventionally employable. Which is fine if you’re a Hell’s Angel or a US Marine, but if you’re planning to pursue conventional employment in the global corpocracy, you might want to consider not removing yourself from the management fast track before you even start.