When my brother told me to read this post my initial reaction was shock. I've always tried to keep my hair as long as possible, and I've mostly been successful. With that in mind, a lot of past interactions I'd brushed aside as weird suddenly make perfect sense. For example, I can now assume that the hairdressers who reliably chopped off an inch or two more than I asked for were doing so deliberately. I also thought that my friends were trying to be kind when they told me to “calm down” after a boy snuck up behind me and cut off a small section of my hair when we were in high school. The more you know, I suppose.
I've always loved women with long hair. But then, I loved running my fingers through my wife's hair before she chopped it off. There is just something that says "Sexy" about long hair.
My girlfriend cut 6 inches off of her hair, then came over to my place and cried for an hour. I finally asked her, "Why are you crying? I'm the one that has to find a new girlfriend."
Short hair I do agree doesn't look good, I can't remember ever liking a lady with short hair, every woman I've ever been attirer to has had long hair (and great smiles, as that is always appealing also).
"Felicity" was a hit show on Fox in the '90's . The lead actress was known for her big puffy hairstyle. Going into the third season she cut her hair. The producers got angry, along with her agent, publicist, other cast members, crew and audience. It dominated the publicity for the third season. People questioned her mental state (I know I did.) The show was quickly cancelled. Her career trajectory nose dived.
An unattractive style, bad haircut, or cut that is too short is never a good look. However, some women can look attractive with shorter hair, so long as it is cut and styled well. A shorter style and cut was a bit of a thing in the early 1980s. Celebrities like Pat Benatar and Sheena Easton had short (and arguably attractive) hairstyles.
Is there, perhaps, more to the life of a woman than worrying about whether random strange men find her hair style attractive?
Does she have other concerns to which she devotes her time and attention?
Might she - at whichever phase of life she finds herself - prefer that her hair stays out of the way and not require too much time-consuming maintenance...particularly since she still attracts people to her with her beautiful eyes, dazzling smile and makeup that complements her face?
Might it be that people find this woman attractive and enjoyable company because of who she is, what she does and how she treats other people...in other words, her SUBSTANCE?
Has none of this ever occurred to you? If so, you really don’t want to hear what women have to say about men’s facial hair.
to the first question: No. Because all women at all ages like feeling attractive to random men. Especially the kind of men she finds attractive (not the ones she does not).
To the second Question: Only marginally. One exception MIGHT be hardcore lesbians, but then it's still done for aesthetic purposes of trying to look more like a man.
third question is not really a question but a delusional wish, not based in reality.
Fourth: No. No man cares about ANY of those things with regard to attractiveness, no one does although women lie about it, because well... you really need to invest in a dictionary. Attractiveness in this context is literally based entirely on the physical look of the woman.
Certainly. Presumably. She might, but at the cost of part of her attractiveness. No, because attraction is not based on who she is, what she does, or how she treats people.
Of course these things have occurred to me; they're rather obvious. I could not care less what women say or think about men or their facial hair. If I did, I'd read Cosmopolitan magazine.
You’re dead wrong about this. Stereotypes are odious. There are notable exceptions to every rule. Long hair for women is one. It suits some, but not others. And those others are no less attractive for their shorter hair styles.
Consider the woman who has thick curly or wavy hair, for instance. She lives in a humid climate. Summer weather is exceptionally arduous. It’s necessary to wash her hair frequently due to the heat & perspiration. It costs her an absolute FORTUNE in hair products to maintain a long hair style. And it never looks good for more than an hour, before the steamy weather ruins all the work she put into styling her long locks.
As soon as she steps out the door and gets hit with humidity, she ends up looking like she’s been struck by lightning. All that effort styling her long hair (at least one extra hour per day) has turned out to be for nothing.
A shorter, manageable cut with the right conditioners and gels to deal with the excessive humidity ends up looking both attractive - and most importantly - well-groomed. As opposed to looking like a hot mess trying to fulfill an unrealistic stereotype of femininity - imposed by people who are NOT FEMININE.
The important thing is that she leaves the house looking like she made the effort to look her best. She looks good and FEELS good about her appearance. For some, this means long hair. For other women, a shorter style shows off her features to best effect.
You have to work with what you’ve got in the circumstances you find yourself in. Once you understand what limitations you have and work within them to make the most of your situation, you end up looking like the very best possible version of yourself.
Sometimes that means opting for shorter hair styles using a moderate amount of hair products... regardless of what some uninformed men may think.
More frequent trims with a shorter cut generally means a woman’s hair looks very sleek and updated, as opposed to unkempt and straggly. Women with shorter hair often opt for subtle highlights in their hair to make their complexion look softer and brighter. These extra touches give women with shorter hair CONFIDENCE in their appearance, which is always an attractive quality.
As the owner of naturally curly hair who lives in the south where it's humid in summer. I can vouch your argument is wrong. Curly haired women do not wash their hair as regularly as straight haired women. It dries the hair out too much. We spritz with water to refresh the curl and apply product and we're done. Men perceiving women as attractive or not is always physical. Whether they esteem them further is based on their personality & character & develops over time. You've confused these 2 types of assessments.
You are immature and stuck in an era and a way of perceiving the world that is long over.
People evolve and change over time...and so do their tastes and priorities. You are clearly stuck in a state of suspended adolescence. This is NOT an attractive quality.
As for myself, I’ve always attracted the interest of men of a variety of ages and statuses in every stage of my life...and with every length of my beautiful locks.
You sell your own gender short (probably to cover up your own anxieties). Most men are far more interesting and interested than you describe. There are loads of men who like all sorts of women.
However, as they mature, these men require someone with common interests, someone they can really talk to, someone who is compatible and is good company. If she is well-turned out, well-groomed and confident in her manner, most men cannot help but feel an attraction. And they don’t refrain from expressing appreciation of their female counterpart.
You can observe this happening all around you nearly every day and in all sorts of interactions...if you have eyes to see.
There are usually exceptions to most rules. But the fact of there being an exception proves the existence of the rule.
Also, confidence is an attractive quality to women. It does not attract men. To the contrary, female confidence tends to strike high-status men as annoying, and low-status men as intimidating.
Just as men can't tell women what should attract them, rather than what actually does, women cannot tell men what we find attractive either.
Women don’t find attractive closed-minded men who rely on stereotypes - particularly about women - to navigate through life. You strike me as an individual with a very limited outlook on the world...and a plethora of insecurities that you need to seriously reflect upon. Seriously, this way of thinking is repellant to any worthwhile woman. Character in a man matters to her, probably more than anything else.
The woman you describe is essentially a CHILD. An adult woman who looks and behaves as a child would - particularly during difficult times such as these - is a LIABILITY. Being partnered with a weak person doesn’t make you look strong. It’s, in fact, the opposite. Women of ALL ages lose respect for you.
You could not be more mistaken about confidence. Your assertion is ABSURD. Confidence, competence and ability are extremely attractive to EVERYONE. It foretells success in just about any endeavor. To be closely allied with such people is instinctive for survival and essential for family formation.
Most emotionally-secure people prefer to surround themselves with individuals who possess these undeniably positive qualities, because they are interesting, stimulating and inspiring. Generally a GOOD influence. You seem to misinterpret confidence in women as an inappropriate display of arrogance. That’s YOUR liability and it would serve you well to get past that.
Life is too short to spend your life surrounded by passive, timid individuals whose role is to guard a man’s fragile ego. A lot of men were raised to think as you do. It’s a weakness, not a strength. These attitudes make women LOSE confidence in some men, regardless of the length of their hair.
Vox is right. And you are confusing competence with confidence. Nobody has a problem with competence. But in relationships between the sexes too many women think being confident means they can be judgemental of others, have an opinion about everything and be bossy to others- especially men. There is arrogance at the root of this - believing that you are always right and know best and thus have a responsibility to make this known to everyone. When confronted with these flaws the woman denies it - saying others (men) can't handle a confident woman.
This is what psychologically healthy men find deeply unattractive. If you have these flaws please work on your character. Cultivate humility - which is not weakness but a strength.
You are extraordinarily ignorant. Scientists have demonstrated that people decide who is, or is not, attractive to them in an average of three seconds. Your wall of text about what you think people should find attractive amounts to nothing more than personal insecurity and an attempt to rationalize, ex post facto, your suboptimal past decisions.
However, you do provide a useful service of why men should never, ever, listen to general female advice about women. Much appreciated.
I have a feeling this isn't actually about hair for her! >_<
At the risk of a solipsistic wall of text of my own, I have 2 anecdotes as someone who's worn hair both long and short (not usually at the same time, but that WAS the 80s and we're not going to talk about it ever again):
1) to say "short hair is quicker & easier" is a bald-faced lie -- it *requires* mousse, gel, spray, glue, lacquer, time to mold & burn into place, stripping products to remove the glue, and fixing products to repair the damage.
B) I live in hot & humid South GA with waist length hair. Since the beauty of long hair is it can be styled /sans/ goop I wash it only about twice a month. Note that sweat rinses out with plain cool water. You'd be astounded at just how *little* I spend on hair care products now. I scoff at humidity because I wear a bun or braids, which are magically unaffected by all but a downpour... now that I think about it, they survive even that! I can bun it in about 30 seconds; two Dutch braids may take 8 to 10 minutes, but I can do that once every few days, so it averages out. ^_^
TBF, I think the one good argument "for" short hair is sleeping on it ... and maybe not having it stick to you when you're sweaty or getting out of the shower!
That's as far as I got reading, it looked like it was heading into therapy sesh territory so I bailed.
I didn't realize the aspect of female competition, but I have long told my wife and two daughters to NEVER take advice from other women on what looks good, or cute, or pretty, on them. I knew from observation that whenever a woman was told by other women that she looked good after a change in style that invariably she looked far worse and less attractive in my eyes. Long hair on women rules!
This is true having experienced this. Now I understand why my Mom said don't cut too much off and if they cut more off than you tell them to cut the tip.
Now I know why my mom told me I looked better with short hair in high school--She was worried about boys lol
I guess I out myself as deliberate social misfit because, ever since high school where the games of children reached adolescence I stopped playing..
When my brother told me to read this post my initial reaction was shock. I've always tried to keep my hair as long as possible, and I've mostly been successful. With that in mind, a lot of past interactions I'd brushed aside as weird suddenly make perfect sense. For example, I can now assume that the hairdressers who reliably chopped off an inch or two more than I asked for were doing so deliberately. I also thought that my friends were trying to be kind when they told me to “calm down” after a boy snuck up behind me and cut off a small section of my hair when we were in high school. The more you know, I suppose.
"But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering."
1 Corinthians 11:15
I've always loved women with long hair. But then, I loved running my fingers through my wife's hair before she chopped it off. There is just something that says "Sexy" about long hair.
My girlfriend cut 6 inches off of her hair, then came over to my place and cried for an hour. I finally asked her, "Why are you crying? I'm the one that has to find a new girlfriend."
I’ll join that bet. I’m a woman and find her rationalizing very tedious.
Short hair I do agree doesn't look good, I can't remember ever liking a lady with short hair, every woman I've ever been attirer to has had long hair (and great smiles, as that is always appealing also).
The unintentional proof of concept aspect of this project is going to be way more entertaining than expected.
So true.
I enjoy the irony of women telling men that they are totally and completely wrong about what men like and find attractive in women.
"The more hair, the more better."
There you have it ladies! True, Beautiful and Good.
"Felicity" was a hit show on Fox in the '90's . The lead actress was known for her big puffy hairstyle. Going into the third season she cut her hair. The producers got angry, along with her agent, publicist, other cast members, crew and audience. It dominated the publicity for the third season. People questioned her mental state (I know I did.) The show was quickly cancelled. Her career trajectory nose dived.
An unattractive style, bad haircut, or cut that is too short is never a good look. However, some women can look attractive with shorter hair, so long as it is cut and styled well. A shorter style and cut was a bit of a thing in the early 1980s. Celebrities like Pat Benatar and Sheena Easton had short (and arguably attractive) hairstyles.
Why do women have bigger breasts than they need? Monkeys have small breasts, and feed their babies fine.
Simple, monkey men do not have free will, smell woman in heat, react. Men, however, have free will, and so God make women with two...advertisements.
Is there, perhaps, more to the life of a woman than worrying about whether random strange men find her hair style attractive?
Does she have other concerns to which she devotes her time and attention?
Might she - at whichever phase of life she finds herself - prefer that her hair stays out of the way and not require too much time-consuming maintenance...particularly since she still attracts people to her with her beautiful eyes, dazzling smile and makeup that complements her face?
Might it be that people find this woman attractive and enjoyable company because of who she is, what she does and how she treats other people...in other words, her SUBSTANCE?
Has none of this ever occurred to you? If so, you really don’t want to hear what women have to say about men’s facial hair.
to the first question: No. Because all women at all ages like feeling attractive to random men. Especially the kind of men she finds attractive (not the ones she does not).
To the second Question: Only marginally. One exception MIGHT be hardcore lesbians, but then it's still done for aesthetic purposes of trying to look more like a man.
third question is not really a question but a delusional wish, not based in reality.
Fourth: No. No man cares about ANY of those things with regard to attractiveness, no one does although women lie about it, because well... you really need to invest in a dictionary. Attractiveness in this context is literally based entirely on the physical look of the woman.
Certainly. Presumably. She might, but at the cost of part of her attractiveness. No, because attraction is not based on who she is, what she does, or how she treats people.
Of course these things have occurred to me; they're rather obvious. I could not care less what women say or think about men or their facial hair. If I did, I'd read Cosmopolitan magazine.
You’re dead wrong about this. Stereotypes are odious. There are notable exceptions to every rule. Long hair for women is one. It suits some, but not others. And those others are no less attractive for their shorter hair styles.
Consider the woman who has thick curly or wavy hair, for instance. She lives in a humid climate. Summer weather is exceptionally arduous. It’s necessary to wash her hair frequently due to the heat & perspiration. It costs her an absolute FORTUNE in hair products to maintain a long hair style. And it never looks good for more than an hour, before the steamy weather ruins all the work she put into styling her long locks.
As soon as she steps out the door and gets hit with humidity, she ends up looking like she’s been struck by lightning. All that effort styling her long hair (at least one extra hour per day) has turned out to be for nothing.
A shorter, manageable cut with the right conditioners and gels to deal with the excessive humidity ends up looking both attractive - and most importantly - well-groomed. As opposed to looking like a hot mess trying to fulfill an unrealistic stereotype of femininity - imposed by people who are NOT FEMININE.
The important thing is that she leaves the house looking like she made the effort to look her best. She looks good and FEELS good about her appearance. For some, this means long hair. For other women, a shorter style shows off her features to best effect.
You have to work with what you’ve got in the circumstances you find yourself in. Once you understand what limitations you have and work within them to make the most of your situation, you end up looking like the very best possible version of yourself.
Sometimes that means opting for shorter hair styles using a moderate amount of hair products... regardless of what some uninformed men may think.
More frequent trims with a shorter cut generally means a woman’s hair looks very sleek and updated, as opposed to unkempt and straggly. Women with shorter hair often opt for subtle highlights in their hair to make their complexion look softer and brighter. These extra touches give women with shorter hair CONFIDENCE in their appearance, which is always an attractive quality.
As the owner of naturally curly hair who lives in the south where it's humid in summer. I can vouch your argument is wrong. Curly haired women do not wash their hair as regularly as straight haired women. It dries the hair out too much. We spritz with water to refresh the curl and apply product and we're done. Men perceiving women as attractive or not is always physical. Whether they esteem them further is based on their personality & character & develops over time. You've confused these 2 types of assessments.
You are immature and stuck in an era and a way of perceiving the world that is long over.
People evolve and change over time...and so do their tastes and priorities. You are clearly stuck in a state of suspended adolescence. This is NOT an attractive quality.
As for myself, I’ve always attracted the interest of men of a variety of ages and statuses in every stage of my life...and with every length of my beautiful locks.
You sell your own gender short (probably to cover up your own anxieties). Most men are far more interesting and interested than you describe. There are loads of men who like all sorts of women.
However, as they mature, these men require someone with common interests, someone they can really talk to, someone who is compatible and is good company. If she is well-turned out, well-groomed and confident in her manner, most men cannot help but feel an attraction. And they don’t refrain from expressing appreciation of their female counterpart.
You can observe this happening all around you nearly every day and in all sorts of interactions...if you have eyes to see.
There are usually exceptions to most rules. But the fact of there being an exception proves the existence of the rule.
Also, confidence is an attractive quality to women. It does not attract men. To the contrary, female confidence tends to strike high-status men as annoying, and low-status men as intimidating.
Just as men can't tell women what should attract them, rather than what actually does, women cannot tell men what we find attractive either.
Women don’t find attractive closed-minded men who rely on stereotypes - particularly about women - to navigate through life. You strike me as an individual with a very limited outlook on the world...and a plethora of insecurities that you need to seriously reflect upon. Seriously, this way of thinking is repellant to any worthwhile woman. Character in a man matters to her, probably more than anything else.
The woman you describe is essentially a CHILD. An adult woman who looks and behaves as a child would - particularly during difficult times such as these - is a LIABILITY. Being partnered with a weak person doesn’t make you look strong. It’s, in fact, the opposite. Women of ALL ages lose respect for you.
You could not be more mistaken about confidence. Your assertion is ABSURD. Confidence, competence and ability are extremely attractive to EVERYONE. It foretells success in just about any endeavor. To be closely allied with such people is instinctive for survival and essential for family formation.
Most emotionally-secure people prefer to surround themselves with individuals who possess these undeniably positive qualities, because they are interesting, stimulating and inspiring. Generally a GOOD influence. You seem to misinterpret confidence in women as an inappropriate display of arrogance. That’s YOUR liability and it would serve you well to get past that.
Life is too short to spend your life surrounded by passive, timid individuals whose role is to guard a man’s fragile ego. A lot of men were raised to think as you do. It’s a weakness, not a strength. These attitudes make women LOSE confidence in some men, regardless of the length of their hair.
Vox is right. And you are confusing competence with confidence. Nobody has a problem with competence. But in relationships between the sexes too many women think being confident means they can be judgemental of others, have an opinion about everything and be bossy to others- especially men. There is arrogance at the root of this - believing that you are always right and know best and thus have a responsibility to make this known to everyone. When confronted with these flaws the woman denies it - saying others (men) can't handle a confident woman.
This is what psychologically healthy men find deeply unattractive. If you have these flaws please work on your character. Cultivate humility - which is not weakness but a strength.
I bet any money this creature is either single or unhappily mated.
You are extraordinarily ignorant. Scientists have demonstrated that people decide who is, or is not, attractive to them in an average of three seconds. Your wall of text about what you think people should find attractive amounts to nothing more than personal insecurity and an attempt to rationalize, ex post facto, your suboptimal past decisions.
However, you do provide a useful service of why men should never, ever, listen to general female advice about women. Much appreciated.
I have a feeling this isn't actually about hair for her! >_<
At the risk of a solipsistic wall of text of my own, I have 2 anecdotes as someone who's worn hair both long and short (not usually at the same time, but that WAS the 80s and we're not going to talk about it ever again):
1) to say "short hair is quicker & easier" is a bald-faced lie -- it *requires* mousse, gel, spray, glue, lacquer, time to mold & burn into place, stripping products to remove the glue, and fixing products to repair the damage.
B) I live in hot & humid South GA with waist length hair. Since the beauty of long hair is it can be styled /sans/ goop I wash it only about twice a month. Note that sweat rinses out with plain cool water. You'd be astounded at just how *little* I spend on hair care products now. I scoff at humidity because I wear a bun or braids, which are magically unaffected by all but a downpour... now that I think about it, they survive even that! I can bun it in about 30 seconds; two Dutch braids may take 8 to 10 minutes, but I can do that once every few days, so it averages out. ^_^
TBF, I think the one good argument "for" short hair is sleeping on it ... and maybe not having it stick to you when you're sweaty or getting out of the shower!
That's as far as I got reading, it looked like it was heading into therapy sesh territory so I bailed.
Vox is right. And I say this as a woman.
I didn't realize the aspect of female competition, but I have long told my wife and two daughters to NEVER take advice from other women on what looks good, or cute, or pretty, on them. I knew from observation that whenever a woman was told by other women that she looked good after a change in style that invariably she looked far worse and less attractive in my eyes. Long hair on women rules!
This is true having experienced this. Now I understand why my Mom said don't cut too much off and if they cut more off than you tell them to cut the tip.