Bro back in the day when I was on the hunt, if I didn't get shot down multiple times a week i'd call myself a pussy. I would literally ask girls wayy out of my league just in case , kek
Just applied this advice in applying for a lucrative position within my company.
Glad to have had the courage to shoot my shot despite being a bit green in my field.
Having a basic grasp of the SSH and increased levels of empathy helped me find a suitable position for my rank and anticipate the questions asked by the situational Bravo interviewer.
The other thing about being shot down is that you can learn from the experience. There's always something to learn from being shot down. Learning how to brush it off. How to laugh. How to not care. How to fail faster. How to talk better. How to be more confident. How to not stutter. How to this or that.
A million things.
I learned so many things from all the times I was shot down. I would have never been married if I hadn't been shot down as many times as I had. When I met my wife there were two women at the Church event I was talking to and getting along with. One was out going and bubbly. But one was easier to get along with and nicer. But harder on the number - she didn't want to give it, I had to push. I got her number and asked her to coffee.
I wouldn't have gotten it if I hadn't failed so many times. I would have been too shy, too adverse to conflict. Too whatever.
Wow. Great post. One of my own missed opportunities immediately comes flooding back. From 30 years ago. Which goes to show that the missed opportunities are often more memorable than any rejection, and often even more memorable than most successes. 30 years later I'm still thinking about it!
My high school crush flew to visit me far from where she lived and during her visit we were out driving, got caught in a rainstorm, and had to pull off the road to wait out the storm. It was an obviously romantic moment, and I failed to act.
I wasn't just scared of being shot down, I was also scared of succeeding, scared of getting entangled with her when I wasn't 100% sure, scared of hurting her, scared of getting hurt.
Some of this was blue pill thinking. But most of it was just fear.
I love this excellent new idea Vox shares: "getting shot down is probably the second easiest option... Do you really think it will be emotionally easier on you to get involved with someone for a while, then either a) feel the desire to break it off with them or b) have them dump you?"
I wasn't meant to end up with that girl. But I should have seized that opportunity. I should have dated her and broken her heart or gotten mine broken. Because that would have been good full living. For both of us. And because seizing opportunity builds muscle. Courage builds on courage.
And that's what I regret too. That's why I remember the moment so vividly. Because I know it was more important than just making (or not) a romantic move. Chickening out that time led to other fear-based decisions in life. If I had gone for it, I would have gone for more other good things too.
I was reminded the other day that this applies to more than just women. I was raised to ask permission before doing *anything* and it has not served me well in life.
"A reminder that instead of asking if someone needs help, you should just tell them you are helping them.
Wife and I are sick and a lady from church texts my wife and says “I’m making your kids dinner, what will they eat?” Brought dinner by a little bit later."
For young men especially, you want to get comfortable with rejection. After 10 years, your SMV will likely increase, and those same women who rejected you 10 years earlier, won't even be a consideration.
If you ever see elders or grandparents being interviewed about their choices in life, they will likely tell you their biggest regrets are never the things they did. It’s the things they didn’t do.
Now the fun one is taking a shot, she accepts, things go well and she ghost you on the third date only to find out 6 months later she is pregnant by previous boyfriend.
If you aren’t getting ghosted, you aren’t trying. Ghosting is just high status behavior. All pretty girls and high status men will do it on occasion.
One of my favorite self improvement YouTubers is “How to Beast”. He built himself up from low Delta to high Bravo. The best piece of advice he ever gave was this: once you have the girl, think of her as already lost.
Bro back in the day when I was on the hunt, if I didn't get shot down multiple times a week i'd call myself a pussy. I would literally ask girls wayy out of my league just in case , kek
I'm 70 years old and my biggest regrets are all the things I didn't do but wish I had.
GO FOR IT !!!
Faint heart ne'er won fair lady.
Just applied this advice in applying for a lucrative position within my company.
Glad to have had the courage to shoot my shot despite being a bit green in my field.
Having a basic grasp of the SSH and increased levels of empathy helped me find a suitable position for my rank and anticipate the questions asked by the situational Bravo interviewer.
Vox, thank you for your contributions to the SSH.
The other thing about being shot down is that you can learn from the experience. There's always something to learn from being shot down. Learning how to brush it off. How to laugh. How to not care. How to fail faster. How to talk better. How to be more confident. How to not stutter. How to this or that.
A million things.
I learned so many things from all the times I was shot down. I would have never been married if I hadn't been shot down as many times as I had. When I met my wife there were two women at the Church event I was talking to and getting along with. One was out going and bubbly. But one was easier to get along with and nicer. But harder on the number - she didn't want to give it, I had to push. I got her number and asked her to coffee.
I wouldn't have gotten it if I hadn't failed so many times. I would have been too shy, too adverse to conflict. Too whatever.
Just do it.
Shot down or simping, your friends are going to laugh. With the first one, you’ll laugh with them.
She said yes. But then I learned she's a Sede so I dumped her.
Really? Send her my way.
Dumping a Christian girl for theological reasons is fucking stupid.
Wow. Great post. One of my own missed opportunities immediately comes flooding back. From 30 years ago. Which goes to show that the missed opportunities are often more memorable than any rejection, and often even more memorable than most successes. 30 years later I'm still thinking about it!
My high school crush flew to visit me far from where she lived and during her visit we were out driving, got caught in a rainstorm, and had to pull off the road to wait out the storm. It was an obviously romantic moment, and I failed to act.
I wasn't just scared of being shot down, I was also scared of succeeding, scared of getting entangled with her when I wasn't 100% sure, scared of hurting her, scared of getting hurt.
Some of this was blue pill thinking. But most of it was just fear.
I love this excellent new idea Vox shares: "getting shot down is probably the second easiest option... Do you really think it will be emotionally easier on you to get involved with someone for a while, then either a) feel the desire to break it off with them or b) have them dump you?"
I wasn't meant to end up with that girl. But I should have seized that opportunity. I should have dated her and broken her heart or gotten mine broken. Because that would have been good full living. For both of us. And because seizing opportunity builds muscle. Courage builds on courage.
And that's what I regret too. That's why I remember the moment so vividly. Because I know it was more important than just making (or not) a romantic move. Chickening out that time led to other fear-based decisions in life. If I had gone for it, I would have gone for more other good things too.
I was reminded the other day that this applies to more than just women. I was raised to ask permission before doing *anything* and it has not served me well in life.
"A reminder that instead of asking if someone needs help, you should just tell them you are helping them.
Wife and I are sick and a lady from church texts my wife and says “I’m making your kids dinner, what will they eat?” Brought dinner by a little bit later."
from: https://x.com/Inv3ntive15/status/1910110616037044554
Take your shot. There’s 4billion women out there.
This advice is spot on.
For young men especially, you want to get comfortable with rejection. After 10 years, your SMV will likely increase, and those same women who rejected you 10 years earlier, won't even be a consideration.
"Don’t talk. Don’t discuss. Don’t ask. Just act".
I take action, but the outcome is up to the other party. I can't control that — only how I respond.
#3 stopped existing in the 90s.
I saw #3 play out, in front of my eyes, a mere 3 years ago, to a friend. It absolutely happens today.
You're literally retarded. I'm describing the situation that the individual is addressing now, in 2025.
If you ever see elders or grandparents being interviewed about their choices in life, they will likely tell you their biggest regrets are never the things they did. It’s the things they didn’t do.
Now the fun one is taking a shot, she accepts, things go well and she ghost you on the third date only to find out 6 months later she is pregnant by previous boyfriend.
"Things that make you oi huh"
If you aren’t getting ghosted, you aren’t trying. Ghosting is just high status behavior. All pretty girls and high status men will do it on occasion.
One of my favorite self improvement YouTubers is “How to Beast”. He built himself up from low Delta to high Bravo. The best piece of advice he ever gave was this: once you have the girl, think of her as already lost.