I read that article, and had to zoom in on the hoodie. My first reaction was disgust. Then I thought: who the fuck would ever put this on and think it’s a good idea? Perhaps GIGACHAD could pull it off.
I went from awkward teenager, to desirable young man in the span of a couple of years, in my early 20's. The (physical) transformation started with working out, but ended with a wardrobe upgrade.
I've been fortunate to have 3 Alphas in my life; one of them taught me how to dress. I will always remember how he looked at me one night when we were going out and said: "ok, tomorrow we're going to the mall."
He helped me pick out a new wardrobe (the economy was different 15 years ago) in the span of a couple of hours. He also recommended a new barber.
A few days later I went to concert with another friend. When I got out of the car, his girlfriend did a double take, mouth hanging slightly open, and exclaimed "omg, is that _insert name here_?!"
Many men today reject "fashion" as gay. It isn't. It also doesn't mean that you should be in a suit and tie all the time.
But always wearing gym shorts and a ratty Walmart t-shirt communicates your status, fellas. If you're 6'3", and ripped, you may get away with it, but anything less than that, and you're getting passed over.
Whatever your style might be - athletic, cowboy, tactical, elegant, etc. - put some effort into it. Don't wear rumpled, ill fitting clothes. Don't wear faded clothes, even if they're comfortable. Don't wear the same ratty sneakers with every outfit. Get your hair under control, and run a comb through it every day.
And remember that every time you're seen in public, whether you're walking your dog, going on a long road trip, or a 5 minute drive to the corner store to grab a cornetto, how you look is how you are perceived.
What if you get out of your car only to come face to face with the girl of your dreams, but you look like an unwashed hobo? Don't be that guy.
The sexually explicit shirt in the fish picture is also a bad pun.
The naked lady logo and “SITYA” is meant to be mistaken for the logo and font of “SITKA” hunting gear.
So there’s an element of Smart Boi grossness on top of the sexual explicitness.
Bonus gag points if the picture was taken while fishing in Sitka, Alaska, grossing out all of the women who live there and making them shield their children’s eyes.
I don't know you. How would I know what you would do? People embarrass themselves every day! There was a need for comment, because you did not make anything at all clear.
I’m listing observed behaviors in low status men and women. Attempting to address “the what”. You’re concerned about the who, that’s your prerogative only— not the groups.
You also did the passive aggressive dig that I explained in my original comment. 😬
Every man I dumped, it had an element of embarrassment involved in it:
1. Knew the relationship was over when he invited my mother behind my back to an event I did not want her at because it would be embarrassing to have her there (I was religious and she was not, and her involvement in my religious life would get me made fun of by her.) Also told me he had wanted to cheat on me while he was on vacation with his family, and what a huge testament to his l or for me it was that he didn’t make out with some other girls on a cruise ship.
2. Ended the relationship when he failed out of school and instead of owning it, continued to take tuition money from his parents to party with his fraternity despite no longer being enrolled.
3. Crippling mental illness kept him in bed all day hallucinating that there were snakes on the floor. He wanted/needed mommy-ing through his mental health issues, so I waited to dump him until his mom could be physical present. But I knew it was over two months earlier when he called to me from the bathroom in a baby voice “Wuvvy, can you bwing me my showie-towie” (love, can you bring me my shower towel).
4. Lied to me about wanting kids, and wasted four years of my life hoping I’d get over the desire for them
1. Not a surprise, he was an aspiring preacher and also told my mom she was going to hell for not being his denomination. He was overly eager, but only 15. He went on to actually become a preacher, settled down into a more chill approach, and has a lovely wife and three boys now.
2. Total surprise. Was a great high school boyfriend. I think he probably got involved with drugs at college. He got sorted out later on too.
3. I think he’s bipolar and I met him in a manic phase. About six months in it flipped to the depressive phase and I was blindsided by it.
4. I was surprised, but shouldn’t have been. There were signs that he was all about shallow relationships and money all along. Kids would eat into the money and require commitment. But I was swamped in graduate school and didn’t pay attention to the red flags. Once I was out of school and forced the family-oriented discussions, he came clean. “I was hoping I could get you through your thirties without any kids and you’d outgrow it by 40.”
Bad guidance from bitter boomer divorcee relatives and working too hard at school to focus on making myself good wife assessing husband material nearly ruined my life.
I found my husband when I bowed out of the rat race, moved from the big cities to a rural area and took a decent but not stressful job (big fish, small pond) in my field, got some hobbies, and got my head around wanting a family more than anything else.
Back when I was too young with too much cash from a tech job and was a case study in "oblivious," I went to Nordstrom for some reason and got a Nordstrom card.
The sales women and men at Nordstrom took it upon themselves not only to keep my card maxed out but also to dress me and dispense advice, such as "get a haircut from this woman," "use your free gym membership," and "take your date to this place," among others things. I was a special project. A well-dressed special project.
The results were immediate and dramatic. While I got in trouble due to the unknown-to-me-at-the-time hot/crazy matrix, I was certifiably (by Nordstrom standards) less oblivious.
I have 2 close females that married low status males who are consistently an embarrassment, and 2 close females who married low status males that know their place and work with what they’ve got.
The first 2 women have less or nonexistent community support. People don’t want to come for dinner, they don’t want to build the lasting relationship, then they’re less likely to sign up for a food train when a new baby comes along or less likely to help out with moving. That social web is protective for women and the children. When the men don’t know or accept their place in it, it’s damaging.
The other 2 women have clean husbands who are either fit or well dressed, and they follow basic social etiquette. They’re at least semi interesting people who are well rounded with hobbies or interests. As a result, it’s not dreadful to have dinner at their house. Their children won’t teach embarrassing or weird habits to other children. They’ve built strong and lasting ties to the community, and when help is needed everyone pitches in a hand for them.
One of the reasons I don’t attend Bible study as much anymore relates to this advice. My guy’s life group tagline at church is “keep your swords sharp”, and I suggested two years ago we go around the room and give each other feedback character/spiritual wise like every six months or so. Have personality goals and work on them, on the off chance we have our own blind spots…
Zero takers. Not even a nibble. This is the same group that shot down a suggested study of theologians and their commentary; apparently a bunch of young neophytes w day jobs have more casual biblical insight than men who spent their lives in spiritual study. The church is full of people who reject secular hierarchies in which they’re at the bottom.
I’ll point to Vox’s conception of the Secret King, which to certain Christian gammas tracks very nicely w some of God’s commands around private faith. If your mind’s got enough delusion and your pastor tailors his sermons to the ladies you can maintain a kind of quiet spiritual superiority almost indefinitely.
Don’t even get me started on how they view ‘turning the other cheek’.
There's some good advice down-thread about wardrobe upgrades. I would add, don't add more razzle-dazzle to your wardrobe than your personality and SSH rank can handle. You'll end up looking like you're wearing a costume, that your clothes are wearing you.
My Alpha son has a collection of fabulous short sleeves button down shirts. Brightly colored, zazzy patterns, lots of razz-ma-tazz. He's enough of a large personality to pull off the look. Bravo son wears slightly less zazzy shirts, but a similar look, or well fitted polos. Gamma son wears solid colored dress shirts, polo shirts or t-shirts. He can't pull off the flashy look so he doesn't try anymore. A lesson he had to learn through trial and error, plus a mom-wardrobe-renovation to edit out all the disasters.
...you're going to have to make an effort. Now, get over the earthshattering shock that just occurred, wipe away the tear that just rolled down your chubby cheek, and get to work.
Self-improvement works best when most other men don't do it, since any man who self-improves is still competing for the same number of women.
The real value of self improvement is you feel better about yourself. Then you don’t care as much what others think, which helps them like you more.
the problem with self improving is the pool of eligible women shrinks to a hand full
The best advice I got was “fix what’s broken.”
Fat? Get in shape.
Poor? Get another job.
Slovenly? Buy nice clothes.
Talk too much? Shut up.
I read that article, and had to zoom in on the hoodie. My first reaction was disgust. Then I thought: who the fuck would ever put this on and think it’s a good idea? Perhaps GIGACHAD could pull it off.
Just don't wear anything with words or logos, period.
Caution!
Before long you'll look and act like the fag hag that "advises" your woman, .... the Tates of the world.
(who really resents women, closet case), why he has to be a "player".
Don't get me wrong, basic grooming and character IS important 👍
I've met the type in the clubs for years in Florida, most end up being gay after 40......
TV trending and a bit emasculated.
Silky and smooth for the er, ladies....😂
Don't worry about the impending technocratic enslavement, most women don't.......
A man has better things to do, then "dress up" for tinder dates......
So do women!
Cheers
A nickles worth of free advise 😂😂😂👍
Shut up Gamma.
Nice handle, suits you, a late convert from Florida eh? …..you sad individual, leave the women for real men, and stop spoiling them!
You don’t even register on the giegercounter.😂
Man whores pretending to be Alphas…….
Just stop.
You'll be banned from here soon enough.
I went from awkward teenager, to desirable young man in the span of a couple of years, in my early 20's. The (physical) transformation started with working out, but ended with a wardrobe upgrade.
I've been fortunate to have 3 Alphas in my life; one of them taught me how to dress. I will always remember how he looked at me one night when we were going out and said: "ok, tomorrow we're going to the mall."
He helped me pick out a new wardrobe (the economy was different 15 years ago) in the span of a couple of hours. He also recommended a new barber.
A few days later I went to concert with another friend. When I got out of the car, his girlfriend did a double take, mouth hanging slightly open, and exclaimed "omg, is that _insert name here_?!"
Many men today reject "fashion" as gay. It isn't. It also doesn't mean that you should be in a suit and tie all the time.
But always wearing gym shorts and a ratty Walmart t-shirt communicates your status, fellas. If you're 6'3", and ripped, you may get away with it, but anything less than that, and you're getting passed over.
Whatever your style might be - athletic, cowboy, tactical, elegant, etc. - put some effort into it. Don't wear rumpled, ill fitting clothes. Don't wear faded clothes, even if they're comfortable. Don't wear the same ratty sneakers with every outfit. Get your hair under control, and run a comb through it every day.
And remember that every time you're seen in public, whether you're walking your dog, going on a long road trip, or a 5 minute drive to the corner store to grab a cornetto, how you look is how you are perceived.
What if you get out of your car only to come face to face with the girl of your dreams, but you look like an unwashed hobo? Don't be that guy.
Solid advice.
The sexually explicit shirt in the fish picture is also a bad pun.
The naked lady logo and “SITYA” is meant to be mistaken for the logo and font of “SITKA” hunting gear.
So there’s an element of Smart Boi grossness on top of the sexual explicitness.
Bonus gag points if the picture was taken while fishing in Sitka, Alaska, grossing out all of the women who live there and making them shield their children’s eyes.
Can I make my list? 😂
-Being shocked by the price of anything in public
Taking your kids to only free events
-Misspeaking multiple times without correcting yourself.
-Making 1 hobby your identity (Usually a boat or motorcycle club)
-Going to Bible groups with men and unwilling to discuss the Bible with your family
Cutting anyone off to ask if they want anything.
-Rushing others at the dinner table just to get desert. (“Do you wanna take that to go”)
-Passive aggressive joking that’s a jab, not actually funny.
-Being silent instead of saying “I don’t know”
-Bribing kids with gifts/treats if they accompany you on a trip to Home Depot, consistently.
-Hovering over someone else’s food and or asking if they’re “gonna finish that”
Feeling a little whingey about your hubby?
No ma’am
You think I would embarrass myself by putting my “hubby” down? No
I have a large close family on both sides, with men who stick around. That’s what I’m pulling from.
No need for your comment.
I don't know you. How would I know what you would do? People embarrass themselves every day! There was a need for comment, because you did not make anything at all clear.
I’m listing observed behaviors in low status men and women. Attempting to address “the what”. You’re concerned about the who, that’s your prerogative only— not the groups.
You also did the passive aggressive dig that I explained in my original comment. 😬
Those are oddly specific.
Girl what?
passive aggressive jokes that are meant to be a diss entirely… very common.
ever witness someone barge their way into a conversation by offering to do a good deed?
How about a man who tries to lead and no one gets up?
Ever been rushed for no good reason?
Watch a retired man fall apart because they “wanted” to stop working, but cant?
How about a man who is cheap and proud?
If so, you’ve probably come across mids
Every man I dumped, it had an element of embarrassment involved in it:
1. Knew the relationship was over when he invited my mother behind my back to an event I did not want her at because it would be embarrassing to have her there (I was religious and she was not, and her involvement in my religious life would get me made fun of by her.) Also told me he had wanted to cheat on me while he was on vacation with his family, and what a huge testament to his l or for me it was that he didn’t make out with some other girls on a cruise ship.
2. Ended the relationship when he failed out of school and instead of owning it, continued to take tuition money from his parents to party with his fraternity despite no longer being enrolled.
3. Crippling mental illness kept him in bed all day hallucinating that there were snakes on the floor. He wanted/needed mommy-ing through his mental health issues, so I waited to dump him until his mom could be physical present. But I knew it was over two months earlier when he called to me from the bathroom in a baby voice “Wuvvy, can you bwing me my showie-towie” (love, can you bring me my shower towel).
4. Lied to me about wanting kids, and wasted four years of my life hoping I’d get over the desire for them
Did it come to you as a surprise when the above things happened or were there signs? Some of them are pretty shocking.
1. Not a surprise, he was an aspiring preacher and also told my mom she was going to hell for not being his denomination. He was overly eager, but only 15. He went on to actually become a preacher, settled down into a more chill approach, and has a lovely wife and three boys now.
2. Total surprise. Was a great high school boyfriend. I think he probably got involved with drugs at college. He got sorted out later on too.
3. I think he’s bipolar and I met him in a manic phase. About six months in it flipped to the depressive phase and I was blindsided by it.
4. I was surprised, but shouldn’t have been. There were signs that he was all about shallow relationships and money all along. Kids would eat into the money and require commitment. But I was swamped in graduate school and didn’t pay attention to the red flags. Once I was out of school and forced the family-oriented discussions, he came clean. “I was hoping I could get you through your thirties without any kids and you’d outgrow it by 40.”
Bad guidance from bitter boomer divorcee relatives and working too hard at school to focus on making myself good wife assessing husband material nearly ruined my life.
I found my husband when I bowed out of the rat race, moved from the big cities to a rural area and took a decent but not stressful job (big fish, small pond) in my field, got some hobbies, and got my head around wanting a family more than anything else.
Back when I was too young with too much cash from a tech job and was a case study in "oblivious," I went to Nordstrom for some reason and got a Nordstrom card.
The sales women and men at Nordstrom took it upon themselves not only to keep my card maxed out but also to dress me and dispense advice, such as "get a haircut from this woman," "use your free gym membership," and "take your date to this place," among others things. I was a special project. A well-dressed special project.
The results were immediate and dramatic. While I got in trouble due to the unknown-to-me-at-the-time hot/crazy matrix, I was certifiably (by Nordstrom standards) less oblivious.
I have 2 close females that married low status males who are consistently an embarrassment, and 2 close females who married low status males that know their place and work with what they’ve got.
The first 2 women have less or nonexistent community support. People don’t want to come for dinner, they don’t want to build the lasting relationship, then they’re less likely to sign up for a food train when a new baby comes along or less likely to help out with moving. That social web is protective for women and the children. When the men don’t know or accept their place in it, it’s damaging.
The other 2 women have clean husbands who are either fit or well dressed, and they follow basic social etiquette. They’re at least semi interesting people who are well rounded with hobbies or interests. As a result, it’s not dreadful to have dinner at their house. Their children won’t teach embarrassing or weird habits to other children. They’ve built strong and lasting ties to the community, and when help is needed everyone pitches in a hand for them.
One of the reasons I don’t attend Bible study as much anymore relates to this advice. My guy’s life group tagline at church is “keep your swords sharp”, and I suggested two years ago we go around the room and give each other feedback character/spiritual wise like every six months or so. Have personality goals and work on them, on the off chance we have our own blind spots…
Zero takers. Not even a nibble. This is the same group that shot down a suggested study of theologians and their commentary; apparently a bunch of young neophytes w day jobs have more casual biblical insight than men who spent their lives in spiritual study. The church is full of people who reject secular hierarchies in which they’re at the bottom.
What do they expect "building each other up according to their needs" means?
I’ll point to Vox’s conception of the Secret King, which to certain Christian gammas tracks very nicely w some of God’s commands around private faith. If your mind’s got enough delusion and your pastor tailors his sermons to the ladies you can maintain a kind of quiet spiritual superiority almost indefinitely.
Don’t even get me started on how they view ‘turning the other cheek’.
There's some good advice down-thread about wardrobe upgrades. I would add, don't add more razzle-dazzle to your wardrobe than your personality and SSH rank can handle. You'll end up looking like you're wearing a costume, that your clothes are wearing you.
My Alpha son has a collection of fabulous short sleeves button down shirts. Brightly colored, zazzy patterns, lots of razz-ma-tazz. He's enough of a large personality to pull off the look. Bravo son wears slightly less zazzy shirts, but a similar look, or well fitted polos. Gamma son wears solid colored dress shirts, polo shirts or t-shirts. He can't pull off the flashy look so he doesn't try anymore. A lesson he had to learn through trial and error, plus a mom-wardrobe-renovation to edit out all the disasters.
Alphas can be attractive in crocs and cargo shorts and a loose T-shirt.
Men who are not naturals must at least begin by following the rules of male style. And there are very clear rules.
Whenever I hear people knocking on crocs or jean shorts I think of Alex Hormozi.
I am not Alex, so I will not wear the jean shorts. I can pull of crocs. Know your limits.
You can't pull off crocs. If you're an Alpha or a 10/10 babe, you can be attractive despite dressing like trash, but that's not "pulling it off".
Why the hell are Americans so proud of public ugliness?
I'm sorry to be the one to break to you, but unless you look like this...
https://jakesoldhollywood.blogspot.com/2012/02/errol-flynn.html
...you're going to have to make an effort. Now, get over the earthshattering shock that just occurred, wipe away the tear that just rolled down your chubby cheek, and get to work.
Ironically getting to work eliminates the reason for that tear. We have the power and responsibility to wipe away those tears ourselves.