I know some unmarried “great guys” around 40. Smart, relatively successful, not overweight, but goofy delta types. They’re nice, would make good dads, and I’d like them to be married, but as a female I would never date them if I was single. They’d like to be married with kids, and on paper they should be.
Too weird and too goofy. Jokes told to the wrong audience or at the wrong time. Sometimes making weird noises or weird laughs. Lack of social cue awareness, always taking a conversation topic too far or too long. Not necessarily an inappropriate topic, they just don’t know when to stop. Like telling “dad jokes” to the extreme. I knew one guy in college, he didn’t date anyone then either.
What could they do to change? First would be to quit the weird smirks, weird noises and laughs. Immediate turn off. Get a hobby that a girl would at least care to talk about, but don’t wear it on your sleeve. A good church group or something with strong, normal social norms to learn from and conform to.
Seriously, the weird laughs and noises are the worst. I hear that and I can’t ever picture them with a women. If the guy has the potential to give all your friends and female relatives the ick and you’re going to have to explain yourself and deal with shaming, you’re not going to have any interest in him.
Another woman added her two cents:
I used to work with a guy like that. Solid citizen, good income, reliable. but no girl would go near him and he’s still single in his mid 50s. Why? He’s too weird. Odd sense of humor, a slight tendency to smart boi, a bad case of oneitis for a beautiful blonde Heather who won’t give him the time of day. Preselection is a big deal. No other woman has ever taken him on, the rest give a wide berth. It’s hard to pin down exactly what makes him weird but all us girls saw it.
These guys are not Gammas, but they are clearly low Deltas with some distinctive Gamma strains to them. My best guess is that they combine Gamma insecurity with Delta stubborness, which produces both the weird sound effects and the inability to modify their disattractive behavior by the simple device of paying attention to what other people do.
The weird laughs at inappropriate times is easy enough to understand, though I was a little confused by the weird noises reference. Then I recalled one acquaintance who has a tendency to exhale loudly and make a long “shuuuuuuu” sound for no apparent reason whenever he’s feeling left out of the conversation. Another acquaintance has a tendency to lick his lips for a disturbingly long time instead of resorting to chapstick; I’m reasonably confident that both behaviors fall well into what most women would consider the unacceptably weird zone.
So, if you’re a Delta who looks all right on paper but doesn’t have real-world results to match your theoretical market value, you might consider doing two things.
Are you wasting all your time pursuing women out of your league? Or worse, one specific woman who is out of your league? If so, stop it, swallow your pride, lower your sights, and make it happen.
Ask five women of your acquaintance if there is anything you habitually do that they suspect other women might consider weird or off-putting. What they tell you will, of course, be what bothers them personally, but placing the focus on other women should permit them to tell you the uncomfortable truth about yourself. Don’t argue with them, don’t defend yourself, and don’t try to justify your abnormal behaviors, just listen to what they say and then try to avoid doing whatever it is they tell you is seen by them as weird or goofy or gross.
Remember, you’re not a comedian and not all female attention is desirable. And never, ever, laugh at your own jokes. Most men think the ideal response to a joke from a woman is her laughing hard, grabbing your arm, and telling you “you’re so funny!” Not so. The best response is when she looks puzzled and says “I don’t get it.”
Do not - I repeat, do NOT - explain it to her at all, much less in painstaking detail. And for the love of all that is Good, Beautiful, and True, don’t “smirk” or “wink” either. Just keep a straight face, nod, and tell her to think about it.
They should be married, but they just smell bad. (That's the natural odor, artificial fragrance doesn't help.)
Sexual attraction is the fundamental of a sexual relationship leading to sexual results and the male odor decides if it happens.
Some guys are perpetually performing in their own comedy routine character. Please just stop