Status and Tone
How women and low-status men signify their lack of status
It’s always remarkable to see who does, and who does not, understand the significance of tone. In other languages, such as Chinese, tone can actually change the literal word. For example, 中国 is customarily read Zhong Guo, which means China. However, it can be pronounced 11 different ways, and each of those pronunciations has a different meaning
And it can be even more confusing than that. 买 pronounced mǎi means “to buy” while 卖 mài means “to sell”.
In English, tonal differences are generally used to signify reversals. Whereas “that’s sick” is ordinarily a term of disapproval or diagnosis, if it is pronounced in a positive tone of voice, “that’s sick” is a term of approbation and admiration.
Which is why the common defense of “all I said was…” so often heard from Gammas and women isn’t a defense at all. Because the literal words are only part of the communication process and the tone with which they are said is also part of it, and like an adjective transforming a noun, the tone is capable of entirely changing the meaning of the spoken phrase.
Related to this is the way that people not infrequently begin an exchange with a certain tone, and then affect to be surprised when the response comes in the same tone, or perhaps an even more negative one. If you are often surprised by the negative way in which people respond to your conversational overtures, start paying attention to how you are beginning the conversation. Aggression is usually met by either defensiveness or aggression. Coldness is met with distance. Sarcasm tends to provoke more sarcasm in return.
Because Gammas tend to run a constant self-commentary as they go about their day, and because that stream of self-commentary is mostly negative, they are particularly inclined to begin talking with a negative tone that inspires negative reactions.
So, if you’re frequently finding that the initial response of others to something you say is in an unpleasant or hostile register, start paying very close attention to how you are initially addressing others.
My observation is that Omegas are disproportionately monotone and unable to detect tone. This defect in communication is a significant reason we’re not welcome in the hierarchy.
It’s happened several times that my boss made a joke, I responded completely serious to it, and then he clarified it was a joke.
The feminist narrative around 'tone' was the hardest one for me to break even though I never fully subscribed the victim mentality embedded is real. I would add RBF as well. It's something women want to ignore but turns out when I 'fix my face' and speak softly and warmly I am treated softly and warmly.