SSH > Success

The belated lesson can be the most painful

A reader informs us of the way a Gamma belatedly discovered that no amount of success was going to make him attractive to the object of his obsession.

I'm evidence that women will still choose the unemployed musician over the gamma even when the weight of years runs in the opposite direction: the gamma has known her for over ten years, and I've only known her for barely one. She brought him up to me to shit-test, but I flipped the script on her and got such a rich vein of information that verified all that our masterful lord has taught us of the SSH.

This guy has had a stalker-crush on her since high school. Unrequited, of course. She told me she barely even recalled him, until the wall of texts began.

So long story short, he guilted her into coming to his office; he had become an accountant with his own office and 3-4 delta underlings. This was his Count of Monte Cristo moment: the great culmination of his secret king vengeance, winning the heart of m'lady as a successful accountant! He was convinced this would win her heart.

He was wrong.

She was very vicious in her rhetorical destruction of Count Accountant, once it was clear she wasn't going to make me jealous of him, and became more candid in her speech. I have seen firsthand just how much women hate gammas, and let me tell you, it is next level. Hell truly hath no fury...

She told me his final last messages were very blistering and ragey. Quelle surprise. His attempts, shockingly, doomed him as certainly as the gamma from the post.

The SSH is real.

And it's fantastic.

This is an intriguing example of two very different things. First, is the girlfriend’s testing of her unemployed musician boyfriend; one thing all women do, sooner or later, is bring up their most desirable past boyfriend or best offer on the table to see how their current involvement responds to the prospective competition. If there are three certainties in life, it is that a Harvard graduate will tell you that he graduated from Harvard, a vegan will inform you that he is a vegan, and that a woman who has ever dated a professional athlete or a famous musician will let you know about that.

It’s all about determining her value versus your status. And, of course, impressing you with her desirability; female solipsism means that they never understand that this tends to make them appear less desirable to a man for a variety of reasons ranging from male insecurity to questions about her character.

It’s tremendously amusing, of course, when a woman attempts to casually impress you with her past history with one of your acquaintances in the sporting or music worlds. The look on a woman’s face when she realizes that not only are you not duly impressed, but you now have a direct line on information concerning her past behavior is genuinely hilarious.

The musician’s adroit flip of the script must be admired here. I suspect he had some inkling of Count Accountant’s relatively low-status prior to the testing; no woman keeps a man orbiting for 10 years unless she’s got absolutely no genuine interest in him.

Second is the way that yet another Hollywood script written by Gammas proves to be a lie. What the musician describes as a Count of Monte Cristo moment makes me think of the Sandy Frank entrance from Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion.

I guess that depends on how you define success. If to you success means having a house in Aspen, one in Acapulco, a penthouse in New York, a mansion in Malibu, a 60-foot yacht, an eight-seatWindstar, a Bell Jet Ranger, a Bentley, a personal trainer, a full-time Chef with a live-in masseuse and a staff of 24, then yeah, I guess I am successful.

The Gamma always believes that material success will win the Dream Girl.

But the movies are just Gamma wish-fulfilment fantasies written by Gamma males about the way life would go if only they were gods. In reality, Count Accountant learned that his petty kingdom was insufficient to win the heart and the hand of the fair lady.

“How do you like me now, m’lady?”

This isn’t to say material things don’t matter. When I was in college, my parents built a house in a very exclusive community so large and impressive that it wasn’t uncommon for women to have observably physical reactions to it on their initial visit. And no man with a sufficiently exotic sports car is unaware of the way in which women’s eyes widen whenever they are surprised to discover that a man is driving something much better than they expected.

I lived here by myself for two years post-college.

But these attractors tend to be multipliers, and every multiple of zero is zero. A man’s success will only win over a woman if she is a) already somewhat attracted or b) destitute and desperate.

Speaking of large houses and nice cars, men driven by their need to impress a specific woman should never forget the lesson of The Great Gatsby: making it big might have won Daisy back, but getting her back didn’t end well for Jay Gatsby.

In real life, no one claps.