Projection is Not Your Friend
Men and women have to stop projecting their preferences on the opposite sex
Matt Walsh correctly explains one of the fundamental misconceptions of single men and women alike, one that was previously illustrated in a Hypergamouse episode.
The difference between the romantic interests of men and women could perhaps best be summarized this way: if you give a man a choice between an attractive, sweet, kind, feminine grocery store cashier who makes $13 an hour and wants nothing more than to become a mother one day, OR a high powered, ambitious, loud, rich, corporate girlboss whose greatest dream is to be a CEO one day, most men will choose the former without hesitation. If you give women the same choice — the mild-mannered, unambitious guy working a cash register, OR the highly paid, corporate go-getter — you're going to have a lot more takers for the latter option. Am I saying that most women are greedy gold diggers looking for a rich man to bleed dry? Am I saying that most men are oppressive tyrants looking for some meek, helpless woman they can control? No. No on both counts. I'm saying that men and women are different and they want different things.
A man is not looking for a business partner. He is not looking for someone to provide for him. He wants a wife, a mother for his future children, and a helpmate. He wants a woman, not a man. This is not a new phenomenon.
We’ve talked many times about how women screw this up, flaunting their intelligence, their careers, and their educations to men who could not possibly care less about any of those things, and to the extent they even pay any attention to them, consider them to be dysattractants. Which, of course, has inspired any number of wildly ignorant and treatises by unobservant women explaining that men must be attracted to intelligence, education, and very important job because they are attracted to those things.
But at least women have the excuse of being solipsistic, so such projection is inevitable.
Men, on the other hand, have no such excuse. And yet we see Gammas insisting that women must be attracted to the intensity of a man’s feelings for her, which just happens to mirror the Gamma male fantasy of the ideal romantic approach from a redhead in a science fiction novel.
Delta men, on the other hand, project their valuations of duty, competence, and loyalty onto women, and rather like smart, educated, professional women, are flabbergasted to discover that women are not attracted to any of those characteristics. This is why Deltas love pictures of women in hard hats, carrying guns, and wearing American flag bikinis, and why any female influencer who can figure out the right side of a hammer or a golf club to hold rapidly amasses millions of followers on Instagram.
But projection is an intrinsically unreliable source of information about other people’s preferences. One doesn’t need to assume one is particularly special in order to grasp that other people’s preferences tend to diverge from one’s own, especially when the other people are members of the opposite sex. Remember, the sexes are designed to be complementary, therefore it is actually ideal when a man’s preferences are not only different than a woman’s but are completely opposite.
This isn’t a difficult concept to grasp. Both parties in a relationship can’t be the prettier one. Both parties can’t be the smarter one. And both parties can’t be the bigger one.
Which is why the French are correct to celebrate these differences, and say: vive la différence.
I myself completely agree and married a woman that worked retail at a High End Department store. But I notice that my classmates rarely did the same. Virtually all of my former classmates at a T14 Law School married other professionals and were shocked that I married a lower class woman. The only one I knew who didn’t was a Christian Sigma that dated the same girl all through undergrad and married her quickly. But he also confused my classmates.
My working theory is that Law School has a disproportionate number of Gammas, and they want to marry women that can financially share the burden, and the men are high status enough to actually attract them. Big Law Partner carries a lot of weight, even for a Gamma. Are there any other theories?
The acid test: Ask her what she thinks of Donald Trump. Ignore, or, better still, video the girlbosses and karens who go on a fifteen minute sputtering rant and post to tiktok. Marry the one who smiles and says she thinks he is a hoot.