Ladies Turn: The Delta Experience
In which the women are asked to share their experiences with Delta Males
One of the things I’ve done to help round out the upcoming SSH book and make it more than a simple recounting of my own experiences and opinions is to is ask various women of my acquaintance to share their perspectives of the different SSH profiles on the basis of their direct personal experience with them. Given the unexpected level of interest in this site, I thought perhaps it might make sense to provide the same opportunity to the women who happen to be readers here.
What I’m interested in is 2-3 paragraphs on what attracted you to a Delta, why you chose to date and/or marry a Delta, or why you broke things off with a Delta, as well as what some of the pros and cons of being involved with a Delta were. Try to keep your female solipsism in check, this isn’t about you, your level of attractiveness, the wisdom or foolishness of your choice, how you feel about your past decision today, and so forth.
Keep it simple, keep it clean, and keep it anonymous. If I do use any of these examples in the book, I may further anonymize them or change a few details in order to make it more difficult to identify any of the individuals involved. Please note that if you’re sharing your experience here in the comments, you are granting permission to me to utilize it, uncredited, in a future SSH-related book.
Think of it as trying to help people understand what a Delta is and what sort of behavioral patterns they can reasonably expect to see exhibited by Deltas. As always, it’s about the What, not the Why.
And men, particularly Deltas, while you can certainly comment on a woman’s observations, no one asked for your opinion. This is not a request for a series of “in case anyone wants to know what it’s like to be a Delta” or “this is why I’m glad I’m a Delta” or “this is why it’s really best to be a Delta” comments.
I was attracted to Delta within a month of meeting him. He is kind, not a fake; competent, not a know-it-all; handsome, not hauty; easy going, not indecisive; funny, not awkward.
By month four of knowing Delta, everyone in our common group of friends was aware of my attraction, while Delta was clueless; Delta admitted it later.
I created some drama for Delta with verbal jabs, privately, and got a calm, but direct, "Don't talk to me that way" in response. This was my "you had me at 'hello'" Jerry Maguire moment. Delta had me at "don't talk to me that way".
Another month or two and I asked Delta, "How long do I have to hang around and flirt with you before you ask me out?!" Delta calmly answered, "Never. I don't have many friends who are girls and I like you as a friend too much to change you into a girlfriend."
I proceeded to treat Delta with behavior unbecoming a "likeable friend". I was publicly disrespectful to Delta when we saw each other. Delta sent me an email saying he's not sure what changed, but my treatment of him is preventing friendship with me.
I toned it down, but started ignoring Delta.
Soon Delta moved two timezones away for about a year, for college.
Delta returned to town; meanwhile I had moved on and had been going on dates with other guys.
In some weeks Delta calls me up and asks me out on a date. Movie, dinner, and a proposal, "I know you liked me before, but would you be my girlfriend now?"
We dated for a few months. Delta proposed. We wed 4 months later and have now been married for almost 17 years.
We have the most unstressful life. I get to homeschool our children, the oldest is now a teen. I get to be a stay at home mom in our suburban paid-off home. Delta runs a business and is in demand for his skilled work. Delta is liked and respected by the men in our communities. I have never been embarrassed of Delta. My life style is wholy owed to Delta's stability, work ethic, morality, calm level-headed decisiveness, benefit-of-the-doubt communication style, and care for me and ours.
Where's the downside?
I have to think of times when I'm irritated. That happens when I would that Delta go "war lord mode" on someone who I deem deserves the treatment. But Delta remains loyal to who he is, even when dealing with less deserving parts of humanity. I'd rather that some were not given Delta's benefit of the doubt or his kindness that I feel belongs to me and mine. Yet this many years in I'm beginning to value that my episodic Delta-the-avenger fantasies are not coming to fruition.
Few days ago Delta looks up from the laptop screen, having been reading here on SG, and asks, "What's 'hypergamous', again?" I stop the dinner prep, turn to look at him from the kitchen, point both my thumbs at my grinning face and anounce, "I'm hypergamous! Because you are better than me in every way."
Hi all!
After reading Hypergamouse I determined that a high status deltas are the best type of guys.
Here are the Pros and Cons:
Pros:
* Cute!!! Deltas are cute. Just like how Jami reacted to the Delta tennis guy mouse. My current fav portrayal of Deltas in an anime is Tonikaku Kawaii. It's an anime about a couple who gets married to summarize it very grossly. The female lead describes her husband as very cute.
* Realiable! They fix stuff, they get stuff done. They fix your computer, they are handy.
* Commited! They are not looking around at other girls. You are the apple of their eye!
* Less Competition to get them- I actuallly don't enjoy competing with other females. I don't like the mean girl thing. You might find 1 or 2 other girls going after this man but that's usually it
* Good at what they do! - if you're one of those gals who love seeing their men dedicated to what they do, and maybe admire men in the same line of work as yourself, then a Delta maybe perfect for you
* Easier to Wow! They have lower self esteem when it comes to women so any extra womanly things you do and they'll really appreciate it
Cons:
* They care more about doing a good job than money. Chasing after money isn't the first priority. They will probably be slow to move if their line of work is no longer making enough money.
* Will not go after managerial positions or work up the ladder - Even when they are qualified based on their experience they don't like being a leader
* Lower self esteem - this is also a Con because you do wish they would be more bold and come up to you and say hi or boldly ask you out romantically. If you know I'm interested in the same thing you are ask me to do it with you. But they tend not to have a lot of self esteem when it comes to women
I am married to a Delta of 10 years. His computer skills and dedication to Christ were def what drew me in.