Ladies Turn: The Delta Experience
Ladies Turn: The Delta Experience
In which the women are asked to share their experiences with Delta Males
One of the things I’ve done to help round out the upcoming SSH book and make it more than a simple recounting of my own experiences and opinions is to is ask various women of my acquaintance to share their perspectives of the different SSH profiles on the basis of their direct personal experience with them. Given the unexpected level of interest in this site, I thought perhaps it might make sense to provide the same opportunity to the women who happen to be readers here.
What I’m interested in is 2-3 paragraphs on what attracted you to a Delta, why you chose to date and/or marry a Delta, or why you broke things off with a Delta, as well as what some of the pros and cons of being involved with a Delta were. Try to keep your female solipsism in check, this isn’t about you, your level of attractiveness, the wisdom or foolishness of your choice, how you feel about your past decision today, and so forth.
Keep it simple, keep it clean, and keep it anonymous. If I do use any of these examples in the book, I may further anonymize them or change a few details in order to make it more difficult to identify any of the individuals involved. Please note that if you’re sharing your experience here in the comments, you are granting permission to me to utilize it, uncredited, in a future SSH-related book.
Think of it as trying to help people understand what a Delta is and what sort of behavioral patterns they can reasonably expect to see exhibited by Deltas. As always, it’s about the What, not the Why.
And men, particularly Deltas, while you can certainly comment on a woman’s observations, no one asked for your opinion. This is not a request for a series of “in case anyone wants to know what it’s like to be a Delta” or “this is why I’m glad I’m a Delta” or “this is why it’s really best to be a Delta” comments.
My Dad is a delta, perhaps former omega I think, I love him lots. My Dad is very intelligent as he went to Oxford, and in his career kept the lights on and people safe. He will do things, just because they are the right thing to do, he loves helping his church and loved spending time with his children. His favourite thing to do is preaching and makes objectively good sermons, and will sometimes lead bible studies. The cons where, he married a 30yr "alpha" lady who was a solid 8/9 until she got fat, he struggles with leadership so my mum just took over and hated him for it. He knew mum wanted to divorce when i was two, but loved her anyway and kept that a secret until she told me, (they divorced when I was 21). Ignored mum's bad behaviour such as, mum trash talking him to my brother for hours. Sadly my brother is now a petty gamma, but very much loved by my Dad.
I was attracted to Delta within a month of meeting him. He is kind, not a fake; competent, not a know-it-all; handsome, not hauty; easy going, not indecisive; funny, not awkward.
By month four of knowing Delta, everyone in our common group of friends was aware of my attraction, while Delta was clueless; Delta admitted it later.
I created some drama for Delta with verbal jabs, privately, and got a calm, but direct, "Don't talk to me that way" in response. This was my "you had me at 'hello'" Jerry Maguire moment. Delta had me at "don't talk to me that way".
Another month or two and I asked Delta, "How long do I have to hang around and flirt with you before you ask me out?!" Delta calmly answered, "Never. I don't have many friends who are girls and I like you as a friend too much to change you into a girlfriend."
I proceeded to treat Delta with behavior unbecoming a "likeable friend". I was publicly disrespectful to Delta when we saw each other. Delta sent me an email saying he's not sure what changed, but my treatment of him is preventing friendship with me.
I toned it down, but started ignoring Delta.
Soon Delta moved two timezones away for about a year, for college.
Delta returned to town; meanwhile I had moved on and had been going on dates with other guys.
In some weeks Delta calls me up and asks me out on a date. Movie, dinner, and a proposal, "I know you liked me before, but would you be my girlfriend now?"
We dated for a few months. Delta proposed. We wed 4 months later and have now been married for almost 17 years.
We have the most unstressful life. I get to homeschool our children, the oldest is now a teen. I get to be a stay at home mom in our suburban paid-off home. Delta runs a business and is in demand for his skilled work. Delta is liked and respected by the men in our communities. I have never been embarrassed of Delta. My life style is wholy owed to Delta's stability, work ethic, morality, calm level-headed decisiveness, benefit-of-the-doubt communication style, and care for me and ours.
Where's the downside?
I have to think of times when I'm irritated. That happens when I would that Delta go "war lord mode" on someone who I deem deserves the treatment. But Delta remains loyal to who he is, even when dealing with less deserving parts of humanity. I'd rather that some were not given Delta's benefit of the doubt or his kindness that I feel belongs to me and mine. Yet this many years in I'm beginning to value that my episodic Delta-the-avenger fantasies are not coming to fruition.
Few days ago Delta looks up from the laptop screen, having been reading here on SG, and asks, "What's 'hypergamous', again?" I stop the dinner prep, turn to look at him from the kitchen, point both my thumbs at my grinning face and anounce, "I'm hypergamous! Because you are better than me in every way."