Ladies Turn: The Delta Experience
In which the women are asked to share their experiences with Delta Males
One of the things I’ve done to help round out the upcoming SSH book and make it more than a simple recounting of my own experiences and opinions is to is ask various women of my acquaintance to share their perspectives of the different SSH profiles on the basis of their direct personal experience with them. Given the unexpected level of interest in this site, I thought perhaps it might make sense to provide the same opportunity to the women who happen to be readers here.
What I’m interested in is 2-3 paragraphs on what attracted you to a Delta, why you chose to date and/or marry a Delta, or why you broke things off with a Delta, as well as what some of the pros and cons of being involved with a Delta were. Try to keep your female solipsism in check, this isn’t about you, your level of attractiveness, the wisdom or foolishness of your choice, how you feel about your past decision today, and so forth.
Keep it simple, keep it clean, and keep it anonymous. If I do use any of these examples in the book, I may further anonymize them or change a few details in order to make it more difficult to identify any of the individuals involved. Please note that if you’re sharing your experience here in the comments, you are granting permission to me to utilize it, uncredited, in a future SSH-related book.
Think of it as trying to help people understand what a Delta is and what sort of behavioral patterns they can reasonably expect to see exhibited by Deltas. As always, it’s about the What, not the Why.
And men, particularly Deltas, while you can certainly comment on a woman’s observations, no one asked for your opinion. This is not a request for a series of “in case anyone wants to know what it’s like to be a Delta” or “this is why I’m glad I’m a Delta” or “this is why it’s really best to be a Delta” comments.
Apparently I cannot write coherently about my husband. I've been trying for the past 30min.
In my experience, being married to a delta means sitting in that sweet spot of having an attractive husband but not feeling the need to constantly mate guard. He makes me feel safe and secure and cherished without being a doormat about it. If he doesn't lead as strongly or clearly as a higher ranking man, he's also less likely to scare me by going off on some wild hare.
He's a wonderful dad, a great provider, and one of the best gifts God has given me. Occasionally I wish I'd married a guy with more charisma or ambition, but then again my husband married a girl with "who hurt you vibes" and has made a good marriage of it. We serve at church. We raise our kids. We enjoy our relationship.
When I was first dating my delta husband, I was attracted to a few things: He was handsome, not hot, but handsome. He was intelligent, but didn't show off that he was intelligent (unlike his brother who I happened to meet the same week). I could tell he had goals in life and would be the type who would take care of a family by developing skills, working hard and protecting his loved ones. I knew that he would be loyal, not a player. At the same time he was happy to go work on his own projects and get things done so he wasn't "needy".
Some struggles with dating/marrying a delta. At the beginning of our marriage my husband would be kind of a push-over when it came to conflicts with certain people or about certain things. I thought he would have been more than a bull-dog and I wanted him to rock the boat more than he did. Now, after many years of marriage, I look to him for leadership. Sometimes he leads and sometimes he's like "Do what you want" or "That's your decision". I appreciate the autonomy, but sometimes I want feedback and I don't get any.
One story that I find funny. Back in 2020 during the "lockdowns" I apparently mentioned several times that we should get chickens. I really didn't think that I mentioned it more than once, but apparnetly I mentioned it several times. A few months later, my husband comes to me and starts showing me different breeds of chickens and explains which ones he thinks will do well in our climate and asks me which ones I liked. I was totally floored. I asked him where he got that idea and that it sounded crazy. He responeded, "Well, you said you thought we should get chickens so I figured I better make it happen." He designed and built a brooder and a chicken coop. Now we have 10 chickens.
One other example. One December my brother and his family were visiting from out of state. My family had just recovered from having covid. My bother and his family all got covid and my brother was very sick and needed oxygen. My brother and his family were staying with my sister. My sister called me and was in tears becasue she was was worn out with taking care of everyone and my brother was not doing well. My husband overheard things. Grabbed his coat and said "Tell your sister I'm coming down". He helped to calm everyone down, got his step-father who was a nurse to check on my brother, and helped to formulate a plan for treatment. That same week his brother was really sick with covid and my husband took his brother to the ER and stayed with him until he was okay. There are a lot of examples of him doing what needs to be done without being told.