Fear of a Sigma
Why Sigmas always move on
A reader writes about the sudden and unexpected ejection of a Sigma from his organization.
I am a member of an organization where at the moment the leadership role is occupied by a Gamma/Delta. I am not entirely sure, but leaning more towards Gamma). They just sacked a friend of mine, who according to me is a Sigma - he's a tall and naturally muscular guy, popular with women, doesn't care about women really etc. He got sacked without any prior warning, and based on what he was told, it was because "they had a bad feeling".
When asked about specifics they didn't give any, and as he was talking with vice-chief a day later, he gave one reason, but again not a good one, not something that couldn't have been fixed with a reprimand or a conversation. However as the sacking became common knowledge, the leadership - well, they're on the edge now.
Suddenly this institution feels like Soviet Union, in a wink of an eye - there's this feeling that anything might happen, that anyone could be sacked etc. Like we had an evening out and as I am the Sigma's friend the vice-chief was carefully observing me with a feeling of discomfort, even my jokes were laughed at with a smell of nerves.
Life is hard without alpha leadership.
The problem isn’t necessarily the absence of an Alpha leader. The “bad feeling” that was cited was nothing more than the discomfort that is customarily caused to others by the presence of a Sigma in the organization. Sigmas not only do not trust others, they are also not very much trusted by others. And for good reason on both sides. Alphas view Sigmas as possible challengers, Bravos are irritated by them, Deltas find them to be alien and confusing, and Gammas simultaneously hate, fear, and envy them.
Sigmas know people will eventually turn on them, and usually for reasons that have nothing to do with their own behavior.(1) Inexplicable and sudden ejection for failure to be regarded as a team player is an absolutely normal experience for every Sigma. I can’t even keep track of the number of organizations that wanted me to leave for one reason or another, almost always for some trivial excuse that could have been more reasonably applied in spades to many other individuals in the organization. It always feels as if organizations either want me to lead them or leave them, with very little in between.
I usually opt for the latter.
In the most extreme example, the SFWA board even went to the trouble of compiling a massive report and announcing a fake expulsion to the media in a press release for something that was not a violation of its rules when a) it did not have the power to expel any member, b) the required vote of the complete membership was never held, and c) it never expelled or even tried to expel any of the convicted pedophiles who belonged to the organization, before or since.
Self-awareness and experience are why the Sigma abandons people and organizations alike with such complete equanimity. It’s not that he is attempting to leave before he is pushed out, merely that he knows his eventual departure is only a matter of time, so his attachment to the organization and its members is essentially nonexistent.
And that level of detachment is simply unacceptable to certain members of the organization, particularly Bravos, as well as any Deltas or Gammas who have somehow found themselves in positions of leadership. So, as in the situation related by the reader, almost any pretext will do as an excuse to eject the Sigma from the organization once he has begun to make the leadership feel uncomfortable with him.
Ironically, this gives Sigmas a significant advantage in this era of cancel culture. Whereas being suddenly cancelled is deeply distressing to those who are accustomed to operating within social hierarchies and derive their self-value from their status within them, often leaving them psychologically unequipped to operate on their own, the Sigma simply views the process as just another day ending in Y.
One thing I probably can’t explain to anyone who isn’t a Sigma is the sense of relief and freedom that comes at the moment all ties to a situation are severed, for whatever reason.(2) Even when there is a material cost involved and the ejection is not justified, the dissolution of those ties always comes with a distinct feeling of exhilaration.
The Sigma doesn’t believe that the grass is necessarily greener on the other side of the fence, but he is always aware that it just might be.
(1) Don’t do the “if you want to know what it feels like” thing, please. No one cares and you’re not going to fool anyone anyhow.
(2) Gammas, please note that the feeling of relief you got when you graduated from high school and erroneously believed that you were going to reinvent yourself as a popular person in college before taking revenge upon all your enemies is not what is being described here.
Norm Macdonald. Former gambler. Lost it all twice. Said he felt relieved both times. Was fired from SNL, IIRC, because he wouldn't cool it with the OJ jokes. Probably made a lot of people nervous there. Played by his own rules. Not attached to The System. Worked alone.
RIP Norm.
Sigmas are weird. Unpredictable. Competent. A permanent lack of connection between normal hierarchy members and the sigma makes the hierarchy very nervous. On top of that, you virtually will be unable to compete with a sigma as they are only part of an organization because they take some personal interest in it it's function. They are in it for themselves and the hierarchy is just an unfortunate part they have to deal with where normal members are in it because and for the hierarchy. The relentless sigma grind is because he enjoys it. It isn't work to him and the others can't explain their lack of productivity in comparison because to them it is work, which makes him even more alien and disliked.