Don't Look for Female Support
Women don't support other women. Don't expect them to support you.
A woman complains of her friends’ unwillingness to celebrate her wins with her:
The help my friend offered when I was ill was so considerable that it makes it all the more baffling that she seems to disappear without trace whenever I have something celebratory to share. I can’t recall a single instance in our long-term friendship where she has ever paid me a compliment, offered congratulations or just indulged me in a bit of confidence-boosting cheerleading.
Her silence in these matters has become deafening. Whether the issue is a small matter (new haircut) or a more significant win such as successfully debating a thorny issue on television (I work both as a journalist and broadcaster) she’s nowhere to be seen. I’ve experienced so many occasions when women — sorry, but it’s always women — make a great show of laying on the tea and sympathy, yet melt away with the dawn rather than ever offer a genuinely pleased-for-you response to anything positive.
I think such behaviour is fuelled by jealousy and insecurity, toxic emotions that bolt lips together and render the simplest ‘well done’, impossible to say.
As always, we’re unconcerned about the hows and whys, and focused entirely on the whats. It doesn’t matter why women who transform into the modern incarnation of Florence Nightengale when someone is ill suddenly becomes colder and more indifferent than Mr. Spock as soon as someone scores a new job or marks some other personal triumph. The observable point is that they do.
Personally, I assume it has something to do with female solipsism and status-competition, but again, it doesn’t matter.
So, as men, the important thing is to appreciate female support when it is offered, but never expect it, demand it, or rely upon it. If she chooses to be a cheerleader, that’s great, so long as you understand that her support is likely tied to how closely she identifies with you.
In other words, it’s a good sign when a woman celebrates your triumphs as if they are her own. And it’s a bad sign when she is indifferent to them, because it means that she no longer feels sufficiently tied to you that your glories reflect well on her.
At the end of the day, your mission is your own. Appreciate a woman’s support, but don’t ever assume that it will be there. And definitely don’t attempt to utilize it as fuel for your endeavors.
As a woman myself… women are the worst
It's all so exhausting, though...
Worst is when they weaponise some hideous happening, or event, back as fuel for some kind of shit test. You just look through them, as if, like - are you for real...? You probe for weakness NOW...? With THAT...? Is there no limit, here? How is this fun, or satisfying, or edifying, or improving anything, for anybody, in any way whatsoever?
Then it dawns - it's just for attention. That's all they want. Irritatingly, it hit the mark, even if it didn't wound. And your only recourse is to get heroically drunk, or go for a two hour shit...