Defusing the Ticking Rage-Bomb
How an Alpha confronts a Gamma without setting off fireworks
In the aftermath of the latest Gamma meltdown, a commenter points out an old video that is a masterclass in how an Alpha calmly handles a petty public challenge from a Gamma who is absolutely outmatched in every way.
It's a master-class in frame. Grabbing the guy's hand, the eye-lock, not a wasted word, focused and on-point. In my view the pivotal line is "what's so funny about that"? It begins the reversal of frame from the prankster.
Based on this, we can propose a method for dealing with confrontational Gamma behavior, which can be used aggressively or subtly, depending on the situation:
Identify the false premise or posture that the Gamma is relying on to pre-set the interaction and cause a presumption by the group in his favor.
Swiftly destroy that premise in the most direct way possible. The Gamma relies on the premise to create authority, along with the element of surprise.
Declare victory over the defeated premise, and redirect.
I'd love to see your analysis of it, and what a Sigma would do.
I really have nothing to add to what he’s already correctly observed, except to say that I have seen a few people mistakenly thinking that Tom Cruise is a Sigma. While he may have played a Sigma or two onscreen, there is no question about his true SSH profile, as he is at the very top of not one, but two very large and influential hierarchies, and despite his various quirks and idiosyncracies, he is, by all accounts, well-loved by his longtime collaborators, colleagues, and subordinates. Of course, that may be marketing spin and PR, but the fact that he is still working professionally with the same partners from 30 years ago tends to support those reports.
Cruise isn’t simply an actor. He’s literally calling the shots, raising the money, and deeply involved in running the show, and, in fact, appears to be one of the only men in Hollywood who still knows how to make an action blockbuster. He’s loyal to his people; he insisted that the ailing Val Kilmer appear in the second Top Gun film and then gave him an integral role and a scene that very nearly stole the film.
He is an odd duck and he definitely has an unpredictable side to him, but he is not an outsider and he is obviously quite comfortable operating within his hierarchies. So, he’s definitely an Alpha.
It’s because he’s an Alpha who is very accustomed to dealing with regular provocations from Gammas who are part of his team and for whom he feels responsible that he handles the situation so easily, and puts the Gamma back in his proper place so effortlessly without setting off any pyrotechnics. He could have simply ordered the Gamma crushed by others in a dozen different ways, but instead, he handled it himself and publicly demonstrated his psychological superiority and self-discipline for everyone to see.
As for the question about what a Sigma would do, well, I should think that is entirely obvious to anyone who has been reading Sigma Game since its inception. I will leave it to you, dear readers, to debate the topic, before adding an update in which I will provide the definitive answer.
UPDATE: One useful thing we’ve learned from this exercise is that it is as difficult for those within the hierarchy to understand the Sigma mindset as it is for those outside the hierarchy to understand the normal male perspective.
The correct answer: the Sigma would never have been there in the first place. And no, no amount of rationalizations about how “he needed to be there for his job” or “he was selling a movie” or anything else are even remotely relevant. I very much doubt you can guess how many interviews and public marketing opportunities I have turned down in the last 30 years within an order of magnitude.
Let me put it this way. My band had a recording contract, two Billboard Top 40 Club chart hits, a video on Spanish MTV, music licensed in a Super Nintendo game, and we refused to go on the US and European tours that our label wanted to fund because I was more interested in developing my first computer game. And this despite our having an effective live show that blew away the crowd at both First Avenue and Glam Slam.
The two things one can reasonably expect a Sigma to show up for are a) his own wedding and b) his own funeral. Everything else is far more optional than you would likely believe.
"Don't run away". He held the gamma accountable and firmly by the hand like a child. Called him a jerk in front of everyone. Which coming from someone as high status as Tom Cruise had a much bigger impact than a beat down ever could have on a gamma. Tom preserved his dignity, his status and his legal stability while utterly humiliating the gamma. It is clear Tom instictively perceived his own overwhelming superiority which is what made it all so clear. There was no sizing up. There was no thought process. It was by his nature he knew how to flatten a gamma without so much as getting red in the face.
I worked for an Alpha for several years. My favorite boss. I was young, I slacked and performed below ability. He called me into his office, sat me down, and reviewed my work. Then he tossed it in my lap, sat back in his chair, looked me directly in the face and said "You're better than this". I felt two feet tall. It's odd, even when dressing you down, a good Alpha can motivate you to be better.