189 Comments

This is a good reframing but I think it goes too far. The most important decisions for marriage occur before you are married and adequately understanding the risk is important to drive better decision making when you have the opportunity. The money is the easiest part of divorce, and that part is hard. The impact to the children is the worst aspect. Having your kids 2.5 days out of every 14 is brutal no matter how you interpret it, and this is a standard schedule. Another aspect that is often overlooked is the way that divorce limits your future options, like in ability to pack up and move for an ambitious opportunity because it would involve saying goodbye to your children.

In my opinion, if you aren't scared of marriage, you probably have not thought seriously enough about the risks, even though I still generally recommend marriage for most people. In some ways it is like the stock market: there are risks of all investments but there are risks in not being invested at all. The stock market at least has the general pattern that if you're diversified in the market, you tend to benefit, but marriage is much more like stock picking with huge downside potential.

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Losing a child to the Left, as Elon did to trans, hurts much more than losing a wife.

Mitigate the risk by bonding them to a puppy. Dog people are conservative. The difference between breeds is a fable for HBD.

https://leo3.gitgud.site/essays/Husky-familiar.html

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Jun 20Edited

I'm happily married w/ kids to the same woman I've known since we were in middle school. Getting married was the second best decision I've ever made, and I kick myself for stalling as long as I did. Why? Because having children after getting married was the best thing I ever did.

Nothing compares to having children. It changes you and molds you, for the better. It's what we were made and commanded to do, and you will know when it happens, that this is true.

First you will love them and care for them. They grow and become people who share some of your interests, yet develop their own. They become interesting people. If you do a good job, they also become good people. The cure to Clown World is blessedly simple, and the Lord gave it to us at the beginning: be fruitful and multiple.

The answer to a fallen world, Clown World isn't to retreat and live like a monk. It's for decent Christian people to marry, have children, and outbreed the evil.

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At the same time there needs to be those overturning all the anti-male laws in the States. Make sure you vote in local elections to ensure the overturn of every injustice against marriage, family and Husbands.

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And, it's not: "Oh, I got to take my kid to another soccer game in my van." It's: "Oh, I get to take my kid to another soccer game in my van with a good stereo."

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Yes. Credit card debt, interest and fees, bounced check charges, hobby - I mean business - expenses down. Time to take a second look at the recommendations from husband to wife and vice versa in regard to the recommendation to start and stay fully boosted, or not.

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> With what is she actually threatening you anyhow? Doing whatever you want to do all the time instead of what she wants you to do? Being able to follow up on any indications of interest expressed by women who are half her age whenever you’re so inclined?

Put your hand in the in the fire. It feels great when you pull it out.

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You're afraid of marriage when it works. You're afraid of marriage when it fails.

You're just a scared little man. But don't worry, you don't need to worry about a woman wanting to marry you anyhow.

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Thanks, Vox. Highlights as this one, along with the bible's "Do not be afraid", everything simple. There is no competition when you're not a scared little boy.

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There's no excuse not to fulfill your duty to make a family. Still, it must be admitted that many, many men are broken by child support/family court. A lot of US courts will automatically give custody to the "primary caregiver", so if you follow a traditional family structure you're automatically on the hook for child support right out the gate.

Men need to do their research and network, Lord knows women are! Small mistakes in the process, not documenting material support, offhand comments or texts: they get weaponized against naive men trying to "do the right thing."

But at the same time a father can have a huge impact if he doesn't get bogged-down in emotionalism. Even if you lose on court you can still record videos, write letters, ect. Just gotta save copies in case the wife is blockading.

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Vox, I am 66 and facing the likelihood of divorce from my wife of 39 years. When it does, I'm hitting the Trans America Trail on a Husqvarna, something I have wanted to do for decades.

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Very very true...and many women 30+ in age are aware that, unless they have family wealth, their prospects in the job and marital markets are quite dismal...The ones who aren't aware of that, are dumb enough that you shouldn't have married them in the first place!

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As Vox Day has pointed out numerous times, Gammas and low status men over represent on the Internet in their perpetual victim status. Thus, it should be to no one's surprise that these men really can't get a replacement women 10 years the junior of their previous model.

So if you exercise regularly and aren't a complete doof, you'll be better off as Vox Day has observed.

You can also observe this as well with high status males who have numerous divorces. They do better.

Consider the fact that even if Karen takes the kids, now you'll be free to travel to Philippines and Colombia. At which point, you'll be wondering why Karen didn't just leave years earlier!

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Vox day, you need to fix Infogalactic by either opening up registration or transferring ownership of the site.

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Agreed. We're working on a plan for expanding auto-registration without opening it up entirely, as making it open would destroy it.

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Ah, yes. The Supreme Dark Lord is famous for his openness to advice from strangers.

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Rollo is a washed up joke.

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Rollo has gotten a list of confessions, men have planned to kill themselves, but they quit because the found Rollo. He has saved men from suicide. He has his podclass, as he calls it, every Sunday. And he has helped me with other matters.

So if Rollo is a washed up joke, how much less are you? Or can you show equal or greater receipts?

You're not a little hater, are you? Is somebody a little jelly?

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Disagree. The advice he gives continues to be relevant and even gets topical updates based on current social media trends, such as commenting and expanding on why the man vs bear thing is so popular. The sheer persistence of adding to his body of work in the face of resistance is also commendable.

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That 'second wife' image is a BIG ouchie. I'm happily married, not going anywhere, but old enough to be seriously butthurt at my husband for the younger woman he could pick up if I pushed him to it.

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So... perhaps don't push him to it? That seems to be the obvious solution. You should be happy he has better options; if he didn't you wouldn't want him.

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Oh, yeah, no danger of that. We've made each other what we are. For better or worse, I'm rurnt for anybody else.

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Their fears are NOT misplaced, far from it, and most need to be much more clear eyed about the risks. Nonetheless I can reluctantly agree that they should do it anyway, as long as they are mindful of the risks, get a good prenup (potentially worthless but better than nothing), marry in a sane jurisdiction and try their best to stay there. Maybe they get lucky. And if they don't, kids are worth a huge amount of pain.

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