Omega’s Journey explains how his low self-esteem and self-destructive thought patterns are mostly derived from imaginary opinions of people he doesn’t know and has never met.
A great source of discomfort for me is the opinions of other people. Their opinions do not even have to be stated or thought, I simply imagine what they are thinking and hold my sense of worth and status hostage on their behalf. Simply looking at me in the wrong context, especially in public, is enough to trigger this self destructive process. It makes showing up to life extremely painful
One day, this pattern occurred again. An older couple was walking down a path in my direction. The pattern occurred again. I imagined that they must think me strange or unappealing and would soon move further to the other side of the path in avoidance. Nothing happened. We all kept walking to our respective destinations. I had been down that path many, many times, without incident too. Subtly, the realization that this anxiety was not only unwarranted, but completely self-induced had now fully impressed itself on me.
The truth is: people very seldom care.
The problem being exhibited here is a fundamental lack of empathy. The low-SSH man’s perspective is solipsistic in much the same way that a woman’s is, which is to say that other people only exist for him insofar as they relate to him in some way. It’s therefore impossible for the solipsist to empathize with them, to put himself in their shoes, or to even imagine that they have their own thoughts, concerns, goals, and objectives that have absolutely nothing to do with him.
It may sound counterintuitive, but the Sigma’s total indifference to the opinions of others is usually the product of his possessing a high degree of empathy. Only the truly empathetic can fully understand the solipsism, self-centeredness, machiavellianism, and narcissism of others, and thereby realize that the foundations of their opinions have literally nothing to do with him, even if they are, for some reason, nominally concerned with him or his actions.
For instance, consider one of the Gamma hate sites that has been dedicated to stalking me and my family, and obsessively analyzing my every word and action for years. You might assume that they have a particular interest in me, but the truth is that literally anyone else would serve precisely the same purpose for them and absolutely nothing I do or say will ever change what they think about me.
It’s all about them, not me. As far as they are concerned, I’m an irrelevant icon who could just as easily be a figment of their collective imaginations for their purposes. So it naturally follows that their opinions are totally irrelevant to me.
Once you understand how little others actually care about you, and about anything you think, say, and do, you will be free from the undue influence of your own imagination. The irony is that before you can stop caring about other people’s opinions, you must stop staring in the mirror long enough to actually understand their perspectives.
No one cares. No one ever did. So do what is good and right and beautiful and true without any concern for what anyone who happens to pull their gaze away from their mirror long enough to notice might happen to think.
One of your better pieces, on this site. Very insightful - thanks.
(Assuming you care ;-)
To paraphrase a bit..
You'll worry less about what people think about you, if you could realize how seldom they actually do.