This rather lengthy epistle was sent to me by a regular reader who was cogitating on recent events here on the site. Specifically, she’s referring to one former commenter who reacted rather negatively when I failed to affirm her stated self-observations. C’est la vie en rose…
I have related thoughts around the negging post and your more recent question about the women that get off on virtue signaling, and welcoming in actual toxic, rapey men with non sequitur signs that may as well read “I’m with stupid”. This thread will seem unrelated but I promise I will sew it together.
I saw the full comment thread between you and a woman commenter around negging where you reflected the obvious truth back to her. She was not at the 8-10 neg level. I also saw how she took her ball and went home, deleting all her comments. Too bad. There was some good stuff in there. Some intended, some not.
Just as the artist reveals himself in his art, everyone reveals themselves in their words, how they present themselves, what they protect, what they know or don’t know, and so on. This particular lady commenter revealed the truth along with her soft underbelly in the Gamma Orbiter thread of comments. As a woman, I saw the blood in the water and I knew exactly how to strike a deep nerve, so when I saw you actually do it, it was interesting. Women don’t expect men to see and be able to do that. You had no malicious intent. You were merely speaking the unvarnished truth. I expect that might hurt more as there is no "well she’s just jealous and that’s how woman are," to fall back on and pull the delusion bubble back together. I assume you also saw what I saw and knew how the truth was going to land. I assume it was she, not you, that deleted not just the one interaction but ALL her previous posts, because women look externally for validation.(1) If they can’t achieve a naturally high level they are content with, they will try to manipulate it. Same, if their level is declining and they are unwilling to age gracefully. Rather than face reality, they will try to force compliments, force youthful looks, and explain-spin to create and maintain the level they want to be at. However, original genetics and aging are non-negotiable.
I disagree that a woman would not realize she’s been negged in any form by a master.(2) Woman are fluent in passive aggressive, blood sport negging. The only men that habitually blood sport neg are gammas and Lambdas. I like to think we are much more subtile than Lambdas, the commentary in a high-end salon (contracted to Page Parkes in Houston) was fascinating. Women believe in plausible deniability. “Ohhhh, how could you take what I said that way (die from my poison apple you bitch)?”
Women can see each other’s flaws, weaknesses and insecurities with heat seeking accuracy. We don’t fight physically because our beauty is critical so we fight psychologically. What is intriguing is when a straight, high level man lobs a soft ball in man pigeon-girleese at us. The neg can be as subtle as being ignored.(3)
What is he thinking?
We must know!
There are two very compelling possibilities.
Some folks have mentioned HoeMath. He talks about determining your rating based on the reaction from others vs being delusional. His list is good, including getting unsolicited gifts. A good-looking woman can walk into a room, any room, and all eyes are on her. Men and women. It’s a heady experience. She will merit scowls from the prettiest girls in the room, and that will feel satisfying, like victory, and it will make her smile at them (we’ll circle back to this). She can make a man have an accident because he’s not looking where he’s going. That also makes her smile. She expects all the male attention will be on her, because it always is. It’s a satisfying, pleasurable, powerful experience.
Maybe, if she’s at a rarified level, the men will even keep track of her and gather like flocks of birds just to watch her walk by. But every pretty woman is the evil queen in Snow White. We may be the fairest one of all right now, but we all know that some day, someone fairer and younger will take that attention away. We don’t know when that will happen so when something unexpected happens, like the cute guy ignoring us, our solipsism kicks into overdrive and we must know why. Why has our model of the world just failed? Wait, did That just happen? What does is mean? We must re-assure ourselves that all is still right in our universe. It’s magnetizing. Obsessive. Once the man has revealed he IS actually interested, all is right in the world again. It has to be a man we view as on our level, not one that we would expect to know he’s got no chance, but it could make us take a closer look at someone on the border. After all, it’s not like we haven’t had our hair pulled in grade school.
We know that guys are visual, and some get overwhelmed. The other possibility is that unlike the gaga guys, this guy actually sees you. There’s a shot at a real, balanced relationship. This guy is letting you know, how ever visually appealing you are, he has control of his mental faculties and he has self-confidence. These are important markers for overall life success. Also, since everyone ages, this is a shot at a relationship that will be about more than your looks. That’s the other reason to take a closer look.
Check out this video by Hoemath. Notice the last girl negs herself by understating where she really believes she fits, such that the men can think oh, she has no idea how beautiful she really is (as if!). Good strategy on her part and a good example by Hoemath of girl thinking, end to end. How does this relate to the SJW? Look at the woman who is at the bottom, but calls herself a 10, because she can, and she believes the men will never dare to contradict her. She has angry girl culture on her side. Can she force a cute guy date her? Women are always looking for external validation, from men and from other women. They will also try to force it through persuasion.
It's well known that women will state a group opinion that gives them status or keeps them from being a target vs what they actually believe. We’ll come back to this, but the potential for manipulating women who seeks external validation, and will say only what is deemed acceptable by the in group should have obvious implications.
Finally, Hoemath points out that other women will tactically encourage lower ranked women to double down on mistakes (short hair anyone?) to knee cap them. If a future spinster cat woman wants to be militantly woke and delusional about her looks or the value of looks to a man, why would a rival stop her when time is on her side.
You go girl! Blue is the new blonde!
Women still want to know they are actually hot, even though that is very much frowned upon in modern culture. If you take away the wolf whistles and the signaling men use to give, shame men into playing possum vs actively conveying delight, that dynamic and reward cycle for women is taken away. That ability to self gauge level and strategize who you can lock down is also taken away. Today’s society also shames women from being open about seeking validation for their beauty. So women seek other outlets that are “acceptable” to try to get this feedback. We won’t talk about dopamine hits and only fans except as one kind of substitute regarding obtaining mens' signaling. However I believe muting the normal, everyday feed back leads to both greater delusion and greater insecurity which is a feed back loop intensifying the pull of the SJW signaling reward cycle. Enter the I’m a Good Person™️ Woke competition.
The substitute for the in person, culturally normal, in-group feedback is going Woke and virtue signaling on-line. There is no real, virtual in-group actually watching, but there is a perception that there is a massive audience. Fame is a click away. This illusion is achieved, molded and exploited via social media and the MSM. Our culture is awash in shallow rhetorical manipulations delivered directly through every device. Doing something outrageous, like our SJW with her sign, might go viral and get a lot of attention. Every eye in the room is on meeeee! Watch these women of all ages do it. Their behavior screams: I need to be told I am a Good Person™️ and I’ll do anything to get that feed back. Your reason based disapproval registers like the scowl from the 2nd prettiest girl, unless you can shame, ridicule, and meme.
Just as Aristotle observed, they believe the rhetorical because it feels good and they want to believe it. That is why they get angry if you pop the rhetorical bubble with truth and take away their Santa of the Moment. My mother took her immune compromised husband, in his wheel chair, to a Black Lives Matter protest during the peak 2020 phases of Covid insanity. She was terrified to leave home, he wouldn’t have known one way or another, but suddenly it was OK because she was virtue signaling what a Good Person™️ she is. Plus they wore bandanas. No virus would dare cross that virtue signal boundary!
How convenient for anyone that wants to manipulate for “reasons", that blue-haired homely women, old boomer women, middle aged women, mousy looking women like that SJW with the welcome rapists sign, can find a virtue signal, a look-at-me, and a power-attention substitute for what a beautiful woman feels when she draws the attention of the room and the scowls of other rivals. Potent reward. See that smug look? Feels like victory!
(1) Confirmed. I very seldom delete comments, even when the commenter gets banned.
(2) Here, we disagree. I’m confident that many women don’t realize that they’ve been negged because so few women even grasp what negging actually is. Only an unusually self-aware woman who is capable of real-time meta-analysis is going to reliably recognize it, not on the basis of the man’s words or actions, but rather, her own reaction to them.
(3) Emphasis mine. Precisely. This is most effective with the most highly attractive women, because they are accustomed to being made everyone’s priority at all times. You can see how the Sigma’s natural indifference tends to be a significant advantage in this regard.
(2) Agreed.
" women will tactically encourage lower ranked women to double down on mistakes (short hair anyone?) to knee cap them"
Women's virtue signaling is often based on seeking external validation. This, therefore, means that they are willing to give up their safe space in exchange for being part of the in-group. It is interesting to observe women defending Lizzo as beautiful, yet if told they look like her, it suddenly becomes an insult.