Women Can't Handle the Emotional Truth
Why the absence of female empathy is a very good thing
A female reader provides a perspicacious observation on the recent topic of discussion and points out why women’s lack of empathy is, on average, a very good thing for both men and women alike.
It's interesting how often a characteristic which is only expressed at the far right of the bell curve is labelled by most people as a moral and aspirational good, and that anything less than that is therefore somehow a lack in dignity, virtue, or value as a human being.
The vast majority of people are not empathetic, incredibly physically attractive, vastly intelligent, wildly successful, or even any combination of the preceding. However, the vast majority of people also seem to have a need to believe that they are at least one of those things in order to be worthy as human beings.
There's nothing wrong with being closer to the middle; virtually everyone is, which is why we have a concept of normal. It's normal for both men and women to lack empathy, more so for women than men. Ironically, it's also normal for most men and women to believe themselves empathetic. And so it goes.
Considering how normal women behave, it's probably a very good thing that they do lack empathy. Imagine, gentlemen, if she could understand the inner workings of your mind and recognize that you are so very different, in what ways, and how best that can be used to control the relationship. Combine that with her default level of virtue and self-control or lack thereof, and suddenly the thought of her being genuinely empathetic sounds a tad less appealing.
Conversely ladies, if you really were empathetic to your men, how likely would you be to get the ick pretty much immediately? He's not just a stronger, hornier woman, he's a different creature altogether. Do you really want to know what he thinks? Really? Ask him to explain in detail about his favorite hobby, and see how long it takes for you to completely lose interest.
Those are two excellent and extremely pertinent observations.
The thoughtless female envy of male empathy is rather like the way in which it is disturbing to women to discover that men are not attracted to their intelligence or their careers. But just as female hypergamy dictates the absolute need for male hypogamy, the female desire for strength and stability absolutely rules out the utility of female empathy.
Remember that women react very negatively to any signs of male weakness and self-doubt, and the way in which they are very heavily attracted to male self-confidence. Now imagine how destructive it would be to relationships and marriages if women were able to genuinely feel a man’s moments of self-doubt, sadness, and self-pity. Since even the most confident, self-assured man has his moments of weakness from time to time, female empathy would probably render long-term relationships impossible.
Think about the women you have known at their most unhinged and out-of-control. Now, do you really want her to know exactly how you are feeling all the time? Because, remember, while men are accustomed to practicing both physical and emotional self-restraint, women are not.
