The Worst Advice Ever

This is the most savagely destructive marital "advice" ever given

This is arguably the most retarded, most obviously destructive advice about marriage I have ever read. Any woman who follows the Matriarchal Curse’s advice will be almost guaranteed to find herself divorced within three years; the woman’s blog is virtually the Platonic exemplary of why no man should ever listen to a single word a woman says about women.

First, note this blithering NPC’s attempt to remove all responsibility from the individual woman for her own solipsistic and selfish behavior.

I began teaching their Seven Principles course based off the book, which is to this day the second most popular marriage book. But as I taught more and more classes, something kept eating at my conscience. I kept finding myself wanting to divide the class and speak to the husbands and wives separately.

It was so clear to me that they had different problems that required different messages, but we had to stick to the course curriculum which offered the exact same set of solutions to both men and women.

For instance, the Seven Principles book prescribes gratitude as an antidote to several relationship problems without ever mentioning that gratitude and especially a directive to be more grateful is a very different experience for women than it is for men. (I wrote an entire essay about that here.)

He never mentions the effects of historic and present power differentials between men and women.

I could see plainly that the messages to compromise, accommodate, be more compassionate and grateful were messages the men needed.

But they were not the messages the women needed.

The women have had these messages pounded into them since they were toddlers. These messages are making them sick. Instead of more kindness and compromise, they needed to learn how to honor their own desires so they could stop drowning in resentment.

This analysis borders on the sociopathic, except that sociopaths tend to pay fairly close attention to how neurologically-normal humans actually behave. The Matriarchal Curse actually believes that the core marital problem is because women are INSUFFICIENTLY SELFISH! If it weren’t for the fact of female solipsism, this assertion so obviously flies in the face of observable reality that one would assume that she’s a paid propagandist for the anticivilizationists.

Never, ever, listen to a woman who calls herself a “matriarch”. It’s just another word for “witch”.

The reason women continue having the message to compromise, to accommodate, to be more compassionate and to be grateful pounded into them since they are toddlers is because they require it. They need that message continuously reinforced because they are so reliably terrible at doing those things. Female solipsism naturally inspires women to be uncompromising, unaccommodating, unsympathetic, and ungrateful, which is why civilization depends so heavily upon teaching women to restrain their most antisocial and dyscivilizational instincts.

Do you seriously believe that every great thinker from Aristotle to Florence Nightengale somehow managed to get it completely wrong about the observable nature of female behavior?

If you’re a married woman who finds it hard to believe that you are excessively, rather than insufficiently, selfish, ask yourself this question: What is the ratio of your daily requests of your husband to his requests of you? I’m talking specific direct requests made by one party to the other to perform a material action of any kind. I’m not talking about a scenario wherein one party imagines the other party might want, or should want, something and then preemptively performs an action to the imagined benefit of the other party which has not actually been requested that day. How many times do you ask him to do something for you versus how many times he asks you to do something for him?

It’s somewhere between 5:1 and 10:1, isn’t it?

Now, how is attempting to become even more selfish, to demand even more of her husband than she already does, and to pay even less attention to his own wants and needs, going to improve a woman’s marriage in any way, shape, or form? It isn’t, obviously, which is why even this woman’s analysis is pernicious.

And if the woman’s analysis is pernicious, her advice is even worse.

Considering women’s history, there are good reasons we are so obedient to the good girl script. Our society is not kind to loud women who make a stink. We will not be applauded when we prioritize our own desires. Instead we will be called the worst thing a woman can be called- selfish.

Even so, let’s not pretend there are no costs to chronic accommodation. I wrote an entire article about those costs to a woman, but what about the costs of chronic accommodation on a relationship?

My grandmother was fond of wearing a shirt that read, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”

The shirt speaks the truth. No matter how stringently she tries to obey her patriarchal script of being sweet, demure and selfless without ever inconveniencing anyone, as much as she tries to bottle it up, an unhappy woman’s unhappiness and resentment will inevitably squish out sideways.

And chronically ignoring your own dreams, desires, health and capacities is not a great formula for happiness.

The best marriage books I’ve read understand this and tell a woman not to ignore her own needs in service of everyone else’s, but to prioritize her own happiness. Then watch how joy rather than resentment squishes out sideways.

This is exactly the sort of terrible advice that women often give young men who don’t realize they’re being given a poison pill. Just give in to what she wants, just do whatever she says, just be an obedient little beta male and then surely she’ll find you attractive, want to have sex with you, and respect you as a man and husband!

This is absolutely 100-percent false. A man would literally do better to become a drunk, unemployed philanderer wearing a wife-beater who screams at his wife to bring him another beer in front of the television than to follow Matriarchal Curse’s advice to:

• feel and express emotions

• listen instead of fix

• be vulnerable

• display “feminine” qualities like compassion and tenderness

• compromise

• see his wife as his equal

Make no mistake. If you’re a woman who is foolish enough to follow the advice to lean into your worst female qualities, you will destroy your relationships with literally everyone in your life, male and female alike. More selfishness, more self-regard, more solipsism, and more demands of others is about the last thing that any woman needs.

The reason no one gets this marital advice is that no one else is dumb enough to give it. This is not “the marriage advice that every couple needs but no one gets,” to the contrary, it is the marriage advice that every couple needs to ignore.

And if you doubt the degree of inversion that female solipsism is capable of producing, consider the following comment.

Men are taught not to ask for help, but women are socialized to intuit men's preferences and needs, creating a vicious circle where she is constantly catering to his needs without him even knowing she is doing so.

Translation: When the wife does what she wants with the claimed motivation of attempting to satisfy what she IMAGINES to be his preferences and needs, she is not being selfish, but rather, selfless. Therefore, she justified in ignoring any preferences and needs he actually expresses, as well as in making direct demands of him.

This is specifically the very justification that I preemptively ruled out out of the request ratio calculation because it is degenerate and subversive dyslogic. It’s not only dishonest, it’s pointless because the astute Machiavellian man will simply point out that all of his own actions were motivated by his selfless intuition of his wife’s true preferences and needs, and he is therefore justified in ignoring any subsequent demands that are actually articulated because he has already been selflessly sacrificing and compromising himself, thereby leading to a competition between husband and wife as to which party has better intuited the other party’s unspoken needs and preferences.

UPDATE: This commenter preemptively internalized Matriarchal Curse’s advice, with comically predictable results:

I have leaned all my life toward my supposedly "masculine" side, setting boundaries and making other people annoyed and uncomfortable when I express my needs honestly. Could be why although I have been engaged twice, I have never married.

Do you think? Encouraging the solipsistic and the selfish to think even more of their own needs and even less of everyone else’s is akin to telling the cruel and the violent to do the same. It’s a recipe for disaster, both personal and societal.