The Fall of a Master Gamma

Mr Tubcuddle will never get clean again

In the aftermath of the inevitable failure of what one expects to have been Neil Gaiman’s last desperate grasp at relevance, which is to say the flop of GOOD OMENS season 3, it only seems appropriate to release yet another mix of the greatest song in the history of rock music, Vibe Patrol’s Mr Tubcuddle.

There are, of course, already four mixes available to the public; I am partial to the funk groove of the Coraline’s Eyes mix myself. But given the fact that the heavy Transgressions mix which has only been released on UATV was recorded before some of the recent improvements in audio quality, I felt a new mix was required for this solemn occasion.

So I think the musical savageries of Mr Tubcuddle (Never Clean mix) should suit the occasion very nicely indeed, because Mr Tubcuddle will never get clean again, no matter how he scrubs and scrubs. If you ever wondered what pure contempt sounded like, this would be its Form.

Gaiman’s fall from public grace on the basis of his alleged actions illustrates the fundamental problem of the low-status man who dreams of one day achieving high status by hook, by crook, or by methodically transforming the original works of others and convincing everyone that his mediocrity is actually genius. Because no matter what a man’s situational rank might be, he’s never going to be free of the behavioral patterns that were cemented in his psyche in his youth.

And the higher a man’s status, the greater his ability to indulge in the desires formed by those patterns. The higher one rises, the more self-discipline is required.

Other Vibe Patrol mixes:

• Hot Water mix

• Coraline’s Eyes mix

• The Corinthian mix