Stay Out of the Way

A public service announcement

I’ve seen a number of videos where a man in a fight is getting “held back” by his wife. Women: never ever do that.

This is something that should be obvious, but female solipsism is so totally out of control that there are some women who genuinely think their opinion is somehow going to control at least one, and possibly two, adult men who have shifted entirely into violence mode.

I can’t stress this enough. You are not in control.

First, you are endangering the man you are encumbering. If you are grabbing his arm, obstructing his view, or interfering with his range of motion, you are putting him at additional risk of harm.

Second, you are putting yourself at risk of being hurt by one or both of the men involved in the altercation. If you put yourself in between them, the other man is more likely to strike you. If you obstruct your man, he’s going to push you off of him with a force that is much stronger than you imagine; remember, his adrenaline is flowing and so he’s not likely to be as gentle with you as he customarily is.

Third, instead of getting in the way, make yourself useful. While I’m sure it’s very entertaining and a bit of a turn-on to view male combat as a spectator sport, it’s better to prepare to intervene usefully in the event that your man is getting beaten or the other guy pulls out a weapon.

Ideally, you’d have a gun in your purse, in which case you should step to the side perpindicular to the opponent in order to be sure you have a clear shot. Get your hand on the gun and have it ready to go - safety off, round in the chamber - but don’t reveal it unless the guy pulls a knife or shows that he has a gun.

Even if you’re unarmed, however, you can serve as a useful distraction. As always, circle to the side, keeping a watch for anyone looking to intervene on behalf of the other guy. If your man is in trouble, dart forward, kick once very hard at the side of the knee of the other guy’s planted leg, then immediately retreat. Women should never use their hands except defensively, always kick and kick low. Knees and shins, not the groin.

A solid strike to the knee should buy your man enough time to get himself together while simultaneously reducing the other guy’s situational advantage. A hand-to-hand fight isn’t like the movies, and they don’t tend to go back-and-forth. It’s more akin to a snowball rolling down a mountain, so what you’re trying to do is reset the fight if it looks like it’s going to start rolling down the wrong way.

And men, if the other guy obliques naturally, is entirely calm, and has his weight on his back leg, then he’s probably not going to come at you. He’s trained, he’s experienced, and he’s waiting for you to expose yourself, which means he’s probably going to let you walk away. Take the opportunity to do so, because no matter how big, tough, and strong you think you are, you are at an extreme disadvantage.

Think about it this way if you’re an athlete. If you play soccer, or basketball, or tennis, or you ski, think about how immediately obvious it is that someone doesn’t play your sport and how easy it is to beat them. That’s exactly how easy it is for a trained fighter to beat you when it comes to a hand-to-hand situation.

I’ve had a grand total of five people come at me since I did martial arts. Not once did it take more than five seconds to completely incapacitate them, and only once was it necessary to actually injure them. That doesn’t count the four times on a soccer field that I’ve instinctively resorted to using my training without thinking and put a man down on the ground without really intending to do so.

It’s literally that easy for the trained fighter. So don’t try it.