Social Proofing
Sometimes self-improvement requires leaving others behind
One of the crueler realities of life is that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer in many important contexts outside of economics. Any advancement of any kind, be it social, professional, sports, academics, or even physical fitness, necessitates leaving others behind.
The professional athlete can no more continue playing in a recreation league with his buddies than the CEO can spend much time with his former co-workers still working in the mailroom. This, of course, is the source of the “crabs in a bucket” phenomenon that plagues most low-status men; one of the reasons that a man’s friends often encourage his negative habits is that they don’t wish for him to grow away from them, as will inevitably happen if he pursues a path of self-improvement that they do not.
But there is an upside to the process too, which is that as a man’s perceived status increases, he becomes worthy of friendship from higher-status men who would hitherto have avoided his company and the object of interest from more attractive women who would not have previously been interested in him.
As a young man getting into fitness, I had a couple of losers ask me "why do you bother?" or try to sabotage my efforts and eating habits. Don't worry, just enjoy the evening! Have one!
When discussing fitness, I thought I was encouraging them to self improve, but they were seething with envy, instead.
When I started dressing better they started "jokingly" calling me gay, and a metrosexual. By that point, the relationship was strained, to say the least.
As I started getting female interest, one dude in particular - a Gamma - started sabotaging me, until I nearly punched him at a party after he tried to humiliate me with a "joke" in front of the cute chick who'd been giving me attention.
It's at that event that my Alpha friend put his hand on my shoulder and said "you know you're the average of the 5 ppl you hang out with, right?" Next thing I knew, I was included in his group, and my social experience changed dramatically.
When men who are lower social status decide to self improve to move up the social totem pole, one of the things that shocks them is how much nicer to them the Chads are. In high school when some nerdy guy decides to take weights class, it's very eye opening to see that the Chads in the class are instantly supportive of the newbie.
Most low social status people are constantly trying to hold each other down and stabbing each other in the back. It's exhausting. However, the higher status young men have other stuff going on in their lives, like after school sports, jobs, or trying to go out with some pretty girl and they don't have time to be mean to the people lower than them on the social totem pole.
One of the most painful truths of life is people who are lower on the social totem pole, on average, tend to be meaner and nastier than people higher on the social totem pole. It's the 180 degree opposite of how Hollywood portrays the high school social scene.