Love Isn't Always Easy
That's why it's a choice and a commitment
This episode was written to explain why Mari, who is an inveterate enthusiast for other people’s relationships, never seems to be on the market herself despite her close relationships with Apex and other attractive men.
What most younger people don’t understand about love is that while it starts with instinctive attraction and intense emotions, it cannot end there. If it doesn’t transform over time into a conscious choice and a decisive commitment, it will inevitably come to an end in the overwhelming majority of cases.
Even the most obviously intense and irrational head-over-heels cases I have witnessed over time have eventually seen the attraction and the emotions fade to the point that if the conscious will to continue the relationship did not come into play, the relationship would have struggled, perhaps even unsuccessfully.
Most men and women would like to pretend that a choice, once made, cannot be unmade. But this is not true, and no amount of social and legal constructions can change the fact that, at least in the material sense, anything that Man makes, Man can break. Love is an aspect of life, and that means that it requires a choice, every day, to show up for it.
No matter where the loved other might be, physically, mentally, or emotionally.
That's why the commitment to, "till death do you part," is not, "till I don't feel the love anymore."
Marriages implode for a number of reasons, one of them is a partner cheating with someone else cuz they felt the sparks and tingles with that person and not their spouse.
The sparks and tingles fade, love is a choice and commitment. Marriage can often be mundane as the years pass, but you made a commitment to eachother. Roll with the ups and downs.
People tend to confuse lust with love. Love isn't the big, grand gestures or all the tingly excitement you have at the start. It's the little, day to day things. The showing up and caring for one another even on the days you may not like each other as much. It's deciding that no matter what, this person is yours and you will choose them every day. That's why when entering a marriage you have to realize it's a covenant between three people, you, your spouse and God.