Hedonism's Hell

Women are discovering the painful price of feminism

A woman laments her past indiscretions and her indoctrination into feminism as she addresses the long-term price of Alpha-chasing:

There’s a specific kind of ache that many women carry. It’s silent, often unspoken, but unmistakable, a dull, hollow grief that settles somewhere deep in the soul. It’s the grief that comes from being used, not in the obvious way, not with violence or force, but with quiet cultural permission. The grief of being told that this was freedom.

Like so many women, I was raised in a world where sexual liberation was a given, a default belief that surrounded everything we did. Nobody sat me down and told me explicitly how to live, but the message was everywhere: your body is yours, your sexuality is power, there’s nothing wrong with giving yourself to someone if you want to. In fact, withholding it - waiting, reserving, protecting, was seen as being repressed, even shameful. “Don’t be a prude.” “Don’t be insecure.” “Don’t judge.”

I thought I was doing everything right. I cared about the men I dated. I didn’t have sex for sport. I followed the script I’d been given: you date, you become emotionally close, physical intimacy naturally follows, and if it doesn’t work out, well, try again. And again. And again… and that’s just how it goes. I believed this because it was what everyone around me believed. And when those relationships ended, some after months, some after years, I didn’t just walk away with heartbreak. I walked away with confusion. With loss. With a kind of internal emptiness that I couldn’t name at the time.

Back then, I thought it was because they didn’t love me back. I thought the pain I felt was just disappointment. But looking back now, with clarity, I know better…

Feminism told us that men used to use women. But now, in the name of equality, women are being used more than ever, just without the cultural protection we once had. The price used to be marriage. Now the price is nothing at all. Men have access to women’s bodies, their softness, their intimacy, without offering a single ounce of security, fidelity, or long-term love. And worse: women are the ones not only expected to be proud of this arrangement, but to willingly accept it.

The sexual imbalance of society, where the Alphas get as many women as the bottom 50 percent of the entire male population, comes at a severe price to men and women alike. And this imbalance also harms society as a whole, and significantly reduces its chances of maintaining itself, let alone thriving, as the collapse of marriage and fertility rates have conclusively demonstrated.

One of the great successes of medieval Christendom was the imposition of Christian monogamy, thereby ensuring access to wives and children for most of the Deltas. This was the basis of the highly productive middle classes that elevated the standard of living for everyone. And while the Alphas did not abide strictly to the rules, their ability to run rampant throughout the female population was heavily restricted by the societal norms limiting the freedom of young women to easily accommodate them.

There are two solutions. One is to try to convince Alphas not to behave in the manner that Alphas have always behaved. This is not going to work, especially because the costs to them are virtually nonexistent while the benefits are immediate and material. Even the use of law and force is not an option, because Alphas are not easily restrained by their social inferiors, at least not in an open and direct manner.

The other is to return to traditional restrictions on the ability of young women to engage in their favorite pastime of Alpha-chasing. This is the only solution that has any realistic chance of succeeding, but due to the weakness of low-status men and their allergy to female accountability, it is going to have to be driven by a combination of far-sighted Alphas and older, wiser women who are capable of resisting their natural inclination toward solipsistic projection.

The woman’s essay demonstrates that she understands the price she has paid for her feministic behavioral freedom, but does not extend to the full rejection of feminism and equality that is necessary.

Which is why I am dubious about there being any likelihood of a significant societal transformation of the observed sexual imbalance and its dyscivic consequences without some combination of collapse and/or conquest.