Communicating Up

A lesson in addressing higher-status men

One of the challenges that Delta and Gamma males don’t necessarily understand is that they communicate in a very different way than higher-status men do. This difference in communication preferences not only tends to serve as an identifier, but also creates a point of tension and conflict whenever a Delta communicates with an Alpha.

Deltas like to explain themselves. Alphas don’t give a fraction of a quantum of a damn about how or why someone gets the job done. Deltas prefer to frame their responsibilities in a way that permits them to avoid responsibility if something goes wrong. Alphas don’t give a damn about who said what to whom and when if the objective isn’t completed successfully. The Delta’s primary concern is to avoid being held responsible for failure. The Alpha’s primary concern is success.

So you can see why there are bound to be communication issues, which are only compounded when the Delta is talking to a Sigma instead of an Alpha, since Sigmas are a) even more mission-oriented and b) care considerably less about the feelings of others.

I run into this problem on a regular basis. It took me literal years to get some of the Deltas with whom I worked to stop attempting to explain what they had done, how they had done it, and why they had done it that way, when all I wanted was a status report on what had been done on time, what had not been done on time, and when it would be done.

The amazing thing is how they would STILL attempt to keep explaining themselves after I had directly informed them that a) I didn’t want an explanation, b) I didn’t need an explanation, and c) for the love of all that is good and holy, SHUT THE FUCK UP already!

“Yeah, okay, sure, but see, the reason I decided to do it this way…”

Delta narcissism really has to be directly experienced to be believed. So, here is some advice for Deltas and Gammas that should serve them well in any hierarchical environment.

1. Never explain yourself unless you are requested to provide an explanation.

2. Do what you are told to do in exactly the way you were told to do it. Do not be clever, do not be a smart boy, and do not try to come up with a better way to do it, or worse, an excuse for not doing it. Just do exactly what you were told to do, in exactly the way you were told to do it. No matter how dumb or unnecessary you think it is.

3. Understand that everyone, yourself included, is primarily occupied with a) finding an excuse to not do anything and b) figuring out a way to avoid being held responsible for nothing getting done. Also be aware that most Alphas know this.

4. Always focus on figuring out how to accomplish the mission rather than finding a plausible excuse for not getting it done.

5. Always ask for help or more information if you need it. Never ask for help or more information when you don’t genuinely need it. Alphas are aware of this tactic too.

6. The more you can accomplish without requiring any attention from anyone else, the more valued you will be.

7. Asking questions does not make you look smart or diligent. In most cases, it makes you look retarded and lazy.

8. Never, ever even think about attempting to “manage from below” by withholding information. This is how the most serious disasters take place. This is what killed one company I knew back in the day. Deltas always think they know best because they know the details of the one job better than anyone else, and they are almost always wrong because they a) seldom have access to all the relevant information and b) don’t think in holistic or strategic terms.

Neither Deltas nor Gammas are really about accomplishing the mission. Which is unfortunate, because Deltas in particular are absolutely required to accomplish it. This is why leadership, morale, and inspiration are such valuable Alpha qualities, because they’re really all just shorthand for getting Deltas to buy into the idea of accomplishing the mission and behaving accordingly.