Once someone shows you that you cannot trust them, you must behave accordingly.
Even if it's someone you care about deeply and has been a part of your life, for your whole life. Friend or family member, it does not matter. The details of how you handle this will vary based on your circumstances, but you must act in accordance with the truth that you cannot trust them.
I think everybody needs to gripe about “boomers” more. It’s such a rare and unique phenomenon online. Kind of like libbies griping about “epstein” and “tariffs.”
Gotta ask though:
Since you’re expostulating a mid 20th century Merchant/ad-man/population demographic wrangler model in which accidents of birth year generate fixed and immutable identities and in which shopping habits are inculcated via advertising to replace family identity and loyalties with consooomer ones…
…exactly which definition of “boomer” are you using?
Originally the Merchants/ad-men/demographic wranglers used the term to refer to people born in the late 1930s, when a rapid upturn in birth rates resulted from the Depression getting under control. So “boomers” were births about 1936 and on.
Later, when the City of London/Rothschilds and their ilk wanted to re-engineer humanity in the post-war rules-based order, “boomers” were defined as 1945 or later.
So how exactly do you slice and dice up humanity chronologically? I mean, I’m now hearing that anybody born in the early 1960s is a “boomer,” which doesn’t fit with my experience as a Philly punk.
But what do I know. I don’t have (nor want) Vox Day’s celebrity/influence.
Of course we know that by “Boomer” you’re not talking about old blacks or old jews or Punjabis or whatever. “Boomer” is a racist dogwhistle for White people.
While some boomers are better than others, the point that they dont/ cant/ wont learn really hits home around here. We had a boomer relation point out that massie was stupid and muh october 7th is totally relevant to Americans. My wife and I have spent the last 20 years deprogramming from their poison chutzpah culture. Its all just so tiresome. Yawn.. pillow.
Also, thanks for posting this stuff. Helps us keep on track.
Boomer here. Just dropped in to say that a lot of the criticisms of boomers also apply to our parents. I suspect that many boomers learned crummy parenting traits while growing up.
Except they observably don't. Every GenXer knows very well the difference between the way those two generations behaved. And the statistics very strongly back it up.
Perhaps. But more importantly, like a good Boomer, you attempted to substitute your individual circumstances for the observations of tens of millions of people.
That's why you Boomers are totally incapable of ever learning anything. Very, very few of you pay attention to anything except yourselves and your own personal experiences.
When I was a young child my boomer father left me and my even younger sister alone in the mall unsupervised for over an hour. The very same mall I was kidnapped from a few years prior. How could he possibly be so negligent?
"They’re not creatures of the world in which we live, they’re still living in one that has been gone for decades, as if they were material ghosts with political influence" is a lovely, quotable line.
"Now, if a Boomer won’t adjust her behavior in response to the abuse of her own daughter, what do you think the chances are that a Boomer is going to do so on the basis of a mere presentation of the facts?" is a great insight.
This post seems to be well liked, but it seems fake. Who would leave a granddaughter with a stranger? The author claims she had a babysitter when she was 12. This part may be true. But only Americans need a babysitter when they are 12. I was a babysitter from the age of six.
An autopedophile by proxy would leave her granddaughter with her boyfriend, especially if she has reason to believe his appetites are similar to her own.
Best way to deal with my boomer mother, I mean when I still picked the phone up was to rub it in her face I'm having sex. Surest way to get her off the rails. Weird. Very, very weird.
The woman who gave the account in the post is 100% right to never let her mother anywhere near her daughter. I’m going to offer a grimer perspective on this behavior than just failing to learn from their mistakes or listen to their children: Boomer mothers are a class unique in history for having turned underhanded female sexual competition behavior on their daughters. Undermining their daughter’s marriage prospects, using sexuality to compete for the attention of their own husband or boyfriend or the daughter’s husband, controlling the family female in-group through sexual slander and sexual access.
I’m of the belief mothers turning a blind eye to their boyfriend or new husband molesting their tween or teenage daughter is not as simple as “I don’t believe he could ever do that .” I think these women see the daughter as an extension of the self, especially if the daughter looks like her younger self. She’s worried that the husband or boyfriend will find the daughter more attractive. Instead of having to engage in competition with a hotter younger version of herself, the mother commoditizes the daughter’s sexualtiy, making it part of what she, the mother, is offering the new man. “Stay with me and you get to bang by my experienced self AND you get the younger version of me too.” And of course, because all female sexual competition is plausibly deniable, the mothers create the situation in which sexual access to the daughter, maybe even grandchild, can occur, but never engage in active steps you can prove. Mothers who aren’t complicit in their daughter being molested call the police.
Below are examples to build my case , acknowledging that my family is probably especially deranged. But I know enough women with similarly deranged boomer mothers to believe that it’s a trend. My belief, though I’m open to being corrected, is that in old stories, this kind of behavior is confined to evil step-mothers. There is a substantial subset of Boomer mothers who behave like evil stepmothers toward their own daughters.
The background here is that my mother and one of her sisters were absolutely stunning in their youth. They have another sister who is kind of the ugly duckling in the family, but still easily a six. My sister and I were not as gorgeous as my mom and the beautiful sister, but pretty enough that at 16 we looked better than they did at 45.
Examples:
- we’re at a community pool in the summer. And the 16-ish year-old lifeguard keeps looking over our way. My aunt who is 42 is giggling like a school girl that the lifeguard is so totally into her. And she is furious when my mom tells her “stop being such a dumb slut, he’s looking at [my sister] not you.” My sister was only 13 and wasn’t aware of him checking her out. In one master stroke, my mom simultaneously embarrassed her sister, made my sister and I aware that our aunt thought she was our sexual competitor, and drew my sister’s attention to the fact that she was getting sexual attention that she wasn’t aware of and was too immature for.
- my mom got mad at that same sister a couple years later for something totally unrelated that was actually my mom‘s fault, and she alienated me and my siblings and another huge chunk of the family from that aunt by making up stories about my aunt’s sluttiness. Including falsely telling my sister and I for years that my aunt had slept with our dad.
- I was a teen in the 90s when thong underwear was the big thing and I was getting laughed at in the girls locker room freshman year of high school, age 14, for having “granny panties.” I had my own money from babysitting by that point, it was the 90s so we were hanging out at the mall, and I acquired acceptable underwear for the girls locker room from Victoria’s Secret. My mom found one in the wash, stole them, laid them out on her bed for my dad to see as if they were hers and they were going to have a fun night. Then that evening when he saw them, she made a big to-do about what a pervert he was for being attracted to his daughter‘s underwear. And then, to make sure we were both humiliated, made fun of him to me in front of him the next morning.
- Senior year of high school. I’ve been dating the same boy for two years and we were practicing Catholics at the time (which boomer mom mocked) and committed to not having sex until marriage. Mom didn’t like that and arranged that my 18th birthday was going away to a spa with her and her sisters where they spent the whole time telling me about how stupid it is to stay a virgin until you’re married, that you have to try the plumbing out ahead of time to make sure it works, that they hate having to sleep with their middle aged husbands who aren’t hot any more, and to have fun while I can.
- When that didn’t work to make me not-a-virgin, my mom arranged to have that boyfriend moved into my bedroom for five months. The circumstances are still too confusing to articulate well, but as best I recall: his family was moving and because he was leaving for college in the fall they weren’t giving him a dedicated bedroom. His bedroom was going to be the office in their new house until he left for school. My mom got it in her head that that was inhumane and that it was horrible for him to have to live on an air mattress in his parents’ office. She decided that the only thing that could possibly be done about it was to move him into our house instead. On an air mattress… not in our office because she was living there to punish my dad for drinking by withholding sex…on the floor of my bedroom right next to my bed. He ended up forcing himself on me, which I know is not a regret-sex thing, because I confronted him about it years later and he apologized.
- I never told mom because I knew she would make fun of me for it and tell the whole family I was a slut, because she had done so with her sister. Years later mom found out about it from reading one of my journals, briefly asked about and then ignored it. And when I kicked her out of my life three years ago, her letter of “all the great things I’ve done that make me not deserve to be cut off” included “sheltering ‘John’ when his parents were going to make him homeless.”
- Before we cut her off my husband was helping her with a construction project and she called him on FaceTime to talk about the project, from her bed, in a camisole, with the camera angled to show copious cleavage. It was uncomfortable enough that my husband commented on it, told me he felt awkward, and started only taking voice calls.
- A girlfriend’s mother wouldn’t let her get a normal A-line prom dress as was fashionable in the era. Made her wear a slinky peachy skin colored thing with mesh cutouts and did her hair and make up like a high end escort.
I think Boomer mothers who have the 70-is-the-new-20 mindset felt very threatened in their 40s by their younger, hotter daughters. They maintained control of the family by permitting and arranging conditions for sexual abuse, solipisitcially re-envisioning the daughter’s sexuality as hers to provide access to and also devaluing the daughter’s threat as a sexual competition by undermining her virginity.
Boomer women like cruises because there aren’t younger hotter women on board to compete with them.
Edit: The mother’s protest at the end of the excerpt “What do you think we are? Some kind of perverts?! You can’t do anything these days.” Is an admission.
Those are awful stories, but valuable. For lucky people like me with good parents, it's useful to be educated about what unbelievably nasty behaviors people can sink to. I hope you've recovered from having such a bizarre mother and are setting a better example.
One of your sentences stands out: "Instead of having to engage in competition with a hotter younger version of herself, the mother commoditizes the daughter’s sexuality, making it part of what she, the mother, is offering the new man."
I used to read a blog called Wimminz full of similarly awful stories, until the author died in 2018. He was a sexually promiscuous middle-aged working-class Brit navigating life after a brutal divorce with false rape accusations, alienating him from his child. He had stories about multiple women he dated *explicitly* offering him their underage daughters. They were desperate to keep him, and they felt that that was what they could offer to entice him to stay. He wisely declined.
(FYI, his blog is still up at https://wimminz.wordpress.com for those with a strong stomach wanting a glimpse of the worst of female behavior. NSFW, not really safe for one's soul either.)
Thanks- I’m good. In a great marriage, raising our kiddos totally differently. With parents fully out of my life for three years now, can talk/write about it without stress.
It’s really helpful to hear the perspective of people with normal families. Growing up I knew some of the more wild things didn’t feel good, but you take your environment as either normal or as your fault as a kid. Some of my stories being met with abject horror by friends/husband in my adult life helped me build the courage to protect myself. And external feedback, from my husband especially but even strangers on the internet, is still helpful for feeling confident in our full no-contact decision.
That blog sounds rough, but I might take a look because “hey other people are this sick too” is also affirming in its own way. So thanks for the link even though it’s awful.
Okay, if that might be affirming, then maybe I'll point you to a couple of posts that popped my eyes out of my skull. (The late posts aren't as interesting; skip to the earlier ones.)
I don't doubt boomer mothers would let their daughters be sexually abused for their benefit in the slightest. In fact it's a recurring theme in crime shows. It goes pretty far and rivals the Epstein files, just on a smaller scale.
I deal with a lot of young boomers ( 63-67) and a decent percentage of them are ok. But the older boomers are terrible. The Woodstock boomers are narcissistic and brainwashed. They seem to hate their grandchildren.
My mom never learned to cook well. Not the end of the world, easily forgiven.
However, when I first started acquiring non-stick cookware it was amazing how she refused to use the appropriate utensil to cook eggs. A soft spatulas would be available, but inevitably your blood pressure would spike when you would hear the scratching of a metal fork on the bottom of your new pan.
It only takes a few times to completely ruin the pan and cause the nonstick lining to flake off. Which we now know to be quite toxic and no longer buy that type of cookware.
There is something about someone repeatedly choosing to destroy useful tools after being specifically instructed to use the appropriate utensil.
My 87 yr old disabled MIL is far more dependable than my boomer parents. Despite struggling financially her whole life, she is very generous with my kids. She buys season passes for us to go to the Philharmonic together and regularly takes one or more of the kids out to lunch. She's picking up the youngest in a few minutes so he can have a "Grandma Day", which is at least once a week. Her graduation gift to my daughter was 5x what my parents gave her. My parents, despite their means, can't even manage to take the kids out for ice cream the 2 or three times a year they visit. The last time my dad picked up a check for a meal was before we had kids. When they visit, my mom spends most of the time reading and my dad sits in my recliner and watches youtube videos all day on his laptop. The kids will have a ball game or recital, and they'll stay at our house half the time because they're "too tired" or "don't feel well." We can't even get them to stay with the kids for a couple of days so that my wife and I can get away together.
Meanwhile, my 20yr old son turned down a job offer in another town because he wants to stick around and hand off his landscaping business to his younger brothers. He works 50-60 hr weeks at his blue-collar job and mows on his days off. Despite spending thousands of dollars on equipment over the years, he splits the profits evenly with his brothers. He wants to help set his brothers up for the future. He has no obligation to do so. That's why I let him live at home while he works hard and stacks cash for a down payment. My parents think I "spoil" him.
I'm going to retire this year, and my parents are under the impression that I will be helping them out with their money pit hobby farm 4 hours way. They don't understand why we won't move closer since I don't have to "work" anymore. Screw that. I'm mowing lawns with the boys.
Gotta say, from a purely financial and anti-fragility stand point, investing in the farm is the move for your boys. Controlling your food supply is the move. But if they're going to donate it to some immigrant resettlement program after you work on the place you're right to stay home.
Not an option. It's only 35 acres in arid country 4 hours away. Our home is here with our own anti-fragility setup (garden, hunting, and neighbor's beef). My parents have no desire to pass it down. They sold a 4th generation ranch 10 years ago as soon as my grandfather died so they could live their best life now. They have no intention of leaving anything behind except a pile of junk I'll sell for scrap when they die.
When my mom and my MIL recount their childhoods, I can understand why they went off the rails. My husband and I are young millennials and have Gen X parents and Boomer grands. My MIL let her mom watch my husband 1 time when he was 3 and someone called to say they saw him wandering the yard while Boomers were smoking Mary Jane in the house........
My dad's wife has admitted that she would not report CSA and would leave it up to the family and ecclesiastical leaders. When pressed about not reporting she said she believes God would 'make it right' and maybe would make it so the child doesn't feel it. She didn't specify if she meant physically or emotionally.
She also has real world experience with it given her sister got pregnant by a teacher while in high school. No amount of real world experience will change her mind. Needles to say, she isn't allowed any privacy with our kids.
Once someone shows you that you cannot trust them, you must behave accordingly.
Even if it's someone you care about deeply and has been a part of your life, for your whole life. Friend or family member, it does not matter. The details of how you handle this will vary based on your circumstances, but you must act in accordance with the truth that you cannot trust them.
I think everybody needs to gripe about “boomers” more. It’s such a rare and unique phenomenon online. Kind of like libbies griping about “epstein” and “tariffs.”
Gotta ask though:
Since you’re expostulating a mid 20th century Merchant/ad-man/population demographic wrangler model in which accidents of birth year generate fixed and immutable identities and in which shopping habits are inculcated via advertising to replace family identity and loyalties with consooomer ones…
…exactly which definition of “boomer” are you using?
Originally the Merchants/ad-men/demographic wranglers used the term to refer to people born in the late 1930s, when a rapid upturn in birth rates resulted from the Depression getting under control. So “boomers” were births about 1936 and on.
Later, when the City of London/Rothschilds and their ilk wanted to re-engineer humanity in the post-war rules-based order, “boomers” were defined as 1945 or later.
So how exactly do you slice and dice up humanity chronologically? I mean, I’m now hearing that anybody born in the early 1960s is a “boomer,” which doesn’t fit with my experience as a Philly punk.
But what do I know. I don’t have (nor want) Vox Day’s celebrity/influence.
Of course we know that by “Boomer” you’re not talking about old blacks or old jews or Punjabis or whatever. “Boomer” is a racist dogwhistle for White people.
When did you realize you were gay and retarded?
If you don't know what a Boomer is, then you're retarded. It's not, and has never been "a racist dogwhistle for White people."
Now go and do your pagan larping somewhere else.
While some boomers are better than others, the point that they dont/ cant/ wont learn really hits home around here. We had a boomer relation point out that massie was stupid and muh october 7th is totally relevant to Americans. My wife and I have spent the last 20 years deprogramming from their poison chutzpah culture. Its all just so tiresome. Yawn.. pillow.
Also, thanks for posting this stuff. Helps us keep on track.
Boomer here. Just dropped in to say that a lot of the criticisms of boomers also apply to our parents. I suspect that many boomers learned crummy parenting traits while growing up.
Except they observably don't. Every GenXer knows very well the difference between the way those two generations behaved. And the statistics very strongly back it up.
I guess I was just unlucky.
Perhaps. But more importantly, like a good Boomer, you attempted to substitute your individual circumstances for the observations of tens of millions of people.
That's why you Boomers are totally incapable of ever learning anything. Very, very few of you pay attention to anything except yourselves and your own personal experiences.
Not substitute, just offer another perspective.
We've heard your perspective a LOT. And watched the blameshifting.
Sometimes to the children who couldn't possible be adults for the adults.
When I was a young child my boomer father left me and my even younger sister alone in the mall unsupervised for over an hour. The very same mall I was kidnapped from a few years prior. How could he possibly be so negligent?
Boomer solipsism.
"They’re not creatures of the world in which we live, they’re still living in one that has been gone for decades, as if they were material ghosts with political influence" is a lovely, quotable line.
"Now, if a Boomer won’t adjust her behavior in response to the abuse of her own daughter, what do you think the chances are that a Boomer is going to do so on the basis of a mere presentation of the facts?" is a great insight.
This post seems to be well liked, but it seems fake. Who would leave a granddaughter with a stranger? The author claims she had a babysitter when she was 12. This part may be true. But only Americans need a babysitter when they are 12. I was a babysitter from the age of six.
An autopedophile by proxy would leave her granddaughter with her boyfriend, especially if she has reason to believe his appetites are similar to her own.
There's silly ppl everywhere in the world. The woman in the article is of a different variety.
This stuff is very common here.
Hah, that is true. When I learned the word from American movies I thought it was some kind of joke.
Best way to deal with my boomer mother, I mean when I still picked the phone up was to rub it in her face I'm having sex. Surest way to get her off the rails. Weird. Very, very weird.
That's vulgar and degrades the comments. We don't want to hear about it either.
I apologize for vulgarity. However I insist vulgarity is a necessary component in dealing with boomers and all kinds of psychopaths.
It's really not. All you have to do is not talk to them. It's not difficult.
The stories I could tell. I do not, out of a (misguided?) loyalty to family.
The woman who gave the account in the post is 100% right to never let her mother anywhere near her daughter. I’m going to offer a grimer perspective on this behavior than just failing to learn from their mistakes or listen to their children: Boomer mothers are a class unique in history for having turned underhanded female sexual competition behavior on their daughters. Undermining their daughter’s marriage prospects, using sexuality to compete for the attention of their own husband or boyfriend or the daughter’s husband, controlling the family female in-group through sexual slander and sexual access.
I’m of the belief mothers turning a blind eye to their boyfriend or new husband molesting their tween or teenage daughter is not as simple as “I don’t believe he could ever do that .” I think these women see the daughter as an extension of the self, especially if the daughter looks like her younger self. She’s worried that the husband or boyfriend will find the daughter more attractive. Instead of having to engage in competition with a hotter younger version of herself, the mother commoditizes the daughter’s sexualtiy, making it part of what she, the mother, is offering the new man. “Stay with me and you get to bang by my experienced self AND you get the younger version of me too.” And of course, because all female sexual competition is plausibly deniable, the mothers create the situation in which sexual access to the daughter, maybe even grandchild, can occur, but never engage in active steps you can prove. Mothers who aren’t complicit in their daughter being molested call the police.
Below are examples to build my case , acknowledging that my family is probably especially deranged. But I know enough women with similarly deranged boomer mothers to believe that it’s a trend. My belief, though I’m open to being corrected, is that in old stories, this kind of behavior is confined to evil step-mothers. There is a substantial subset of Boomer mothers who behave like evil stepmothers toward their own daughters.
The background here is that my mother and one of her sisters were absolutely stunning in their youth. They have another sister who is kind of the ugly duckling in the family, but still easily a six. My sister and I were not as gorgeous as my mom and the beautiful sister, but pretty enough that at 16 we looked better than they did at 45.
Examples:
- we’re at a community pool in the summer. And the 16-ish year-old lifeguard keeps looking over our way. My aunt who is 42 is giggling like a school girl that the lifeguard is so totally into her. And she is furious when my mom tells her “stop being such a dumb slut, he’s looking at [my sister] not you.” My sister was only 13 and wasn’t aware of him checking her out. In one master stroke, my mom simultaneously embarrassed her sister, made my sister and I aware that our aunt thought she was our sexual competitor, and drew my sister’s attention to the fact that she was getting sexual attention that she wasn’t aware of and was too immature for.
- my mom got mad at that same sister a couple years later for something totally unrelated that was actually my mom‘s fault, and she alienated me and my siblings and another huge chunk of the family from that aunt by making up stories about my aunt’s sluttiness. Including falsely telling my sister and I for years that my aunt had slept with our dad.
- I was a teen in the 90s when thong underwear was the big thing and I was getting laughed at in the girls locker room freshman year of high school, age 14, for having “granny panties.” I had my own money from babysitting by that point, it was the 90s so we were hanging out at the mall, and I acquired acceptable underwear for the girls locker room from Victoria’s Secret. My mom found one in the wash, stole them, laid them out on her bed for my dad to see as if they were hers and they were going to have a fun night. Then that evening when he saw them, she made a big to-do about what a pervert he was for being attracted to his daughter‘s underwear. And then, to make sure we were both humiliated, made fun of him to me in front of him the next morning.
- Senior year of high school. I’ve been dating the same boy for two years and we were practicing Catholics at the time (which boomer mom mocked) and committed to not having sex until marriage. Mom didn’t like that and arranged that my 18th birthday was going away to a spa with her and her sisters where they spent the whole time telling me about how stupid it is to stay a virgin until you’re married, that you have to try the plumbing out ahead of time to make sure it works, that they hate having to sleep with their middle aged husbands who aren’t hot any more, and to have fun while I can.
- When that didn’t work to make me not-a-virgin, my mom arranged to have that boyfriend moved into my bedroom for five months. The circumstances are still too confusing to articulate well, but as best I recall: his family was moving and because he was leaving for college in the fall they weren’t giving him a dedicated bedroom. His bedroom was going to be the office in their new house until he left for school. My mom got it in her head that that was inhumane and that it was horrible for him to have to live on an air mattress in his parents’ office. She decided that the only thing that could possibly be done about it was to move him into our house instead. On an air mattress… not in our office because she was living there to punish my dad for drinking by withholding sex…on the floor of my bedroom right next to my bed. He ended up forcing himself on me, which I know is not a regret-sex thing, because I confronted him about it years later and he apologized.
- I never told mom because I knew she would make fun of me for it and tell the whole family I was a slut, because she had done so with her sister. Years later mom found out about it from reading one of my journals, briefly asked about and then ignored it. And when I kicked her out of my life three years ago, her letter of “all the great things I’ve done that make me not deserve to be cut off” included “sheltering ‘John’ when his parents were going to make him homeless.”
- Before we cut her off my husband was helping her with a construction project and she called him on FaceTime to talk about the project, from her bed, in a camisole, with the camera angled to show copious cleavage. It was uncomfortable enough that my husband commented on it, told me he felt awkward, and started only taking voice calls.
- A girlfriend’s mother wouldn’t let her get a normal A-line prom dress as was fashionable in the era. Made her wear a slinky peachy skin colored thing with mesh cutouts and did her hair and make up like a high end escort.
I think Boomer mothers who have the 70-is-the-new-20 mindset felt very threatened in their 40s by their younger, hotter daughters. They maintained control of the family by permitting and arranging conditions for sexual abuse, solipisitcially re-envisioning the daughter’s sexuality as hers to provide access to and also devaluing the daughter’s threat as a sexual competition by undermining her virginity.
Boomer women like cruises because there aren’t younger hotter women on board to compete with them.
Edit: The mother’s protest at the end of the excerpt “What do you think we are? Some kind of perverts?! You can’t do anything these days.” Is an admission.
Those are awful stories, but valuable. For lucky people like me with good parents, it's useful to be educated about what unbelievably nasty behaviors people can sink to. I hope you've recovered from having such a bizarre mother and are setting a better example.
One of your sentences stands out: "Instead of having to engage in competition with a hotter younger version of herself, the mother commoditizes the daughter’s sexuality, making it part of what she, the mother, is offering the new man."
I used to read a blog called Wimminz full of similarly awful stories, until the author died in 2018. He was a sexually promiscuous middle-aged working-class Brit navigating life after a brutal divorce with false rape accusations, alienating him from his child. He had stories about multiple women he dated *explicitly* offering him their underage daughters. They were desperate to keep him, and they felt that that was what they could offer to entice him to stay. He wisely declined.
(FYI, his blog is still up at https://wimminz.wordpress.com for those with a strong stomach wanting a glimpse of the worst of female behavior. NSFW, not really safe for one's soul either.)
Thanks- I’m good. In a great marriage, raising our kiddos totally differently. With parents fully out of my life for three years now, can talk/write about it without stress.
It’s really helpful to hear the perspective of people with normal families. Growing up I knew some of the more wild things didn’t feel good, but you take your environment as either normal or as your fault as a kid. Some of my stories being met with abject horror by friends/husband in my adult life helped me build the courage to protect myself. And external feedback, from my husband especially but even strangers on the internet, is still helpful for feeling confident in our full no-contact decision.
That blog sounds rough, but I might take a look because “hey other people are this sick too” is also affirming in its own way. So thanks for the link even though it’s awful.
Okay, if that might be affirming, then maybe I'll point you to a couple of posts that popped my eyes out of my skull. (The late posts aren't as interesting; skip to the earlier ones.)
http://wimminz.wordpress.com/2012/06/02/feral-skank-ho-mommies-feral-young-boys/
http://wimminz.wordpress.com/2011/10/01/i-got-a-girl-she-lives-on-a-hill/
I don't doubt boomer mothers would let their daughters be sexually abused for their benefit in the slightest. In fact it's a recurring theme in crime shows. It goes pretty far and rivals the Epstein files, just on a smaller scale.
Just look at the Kardashians.
I deal with a lot of young boomers ( 63-67) and a decent percentage of them are ok. But the older boomers are terrible. The Woodstock boomers are narcissistic and brainwashed. They seem to hate their grandchildren.
My mom never learned to cook well. Not the end of the world, easily forgiven.
However, when I first started acquiring non-stick cookware it was amazing how she refused to use the appropriate utensil to cook eggs. A soft spatulas would be available, but inevitably your blood pressure would spike when you would hear the scratching of a metal fork on the bottom of your new pan.
It only takes a few times to completely ruin the pan and cause the nonstick lining to flake off. Which we now know to be quite toxic and no longer buy that type of cookware.
There is something about someone repeatedly choosing to destroy useful tools after being specifically instructed to use the appropriate utensil.
Non stick cookware is garbage anyway. A good cast iron set will last you your entire life no matter how badly you abuse it.
They can't load dis washers either
That would have resulted in WWIII in my house. Good job not losing it over that.
My 87 yr old disabled MIL is far more dependable than my boomer parents. Despite struggling financially her whole life, she is very generous with my kids. She buys season passes for us to go to the Philharmonic together and regularly takes one or more of the kids out to lunch. She's picking up the youngest in a few minutes so he can have a "Grandma Day", which is at least once a week. Her graduation gift to my daughter was 5x what my parents gave her. My parents, despite their means, can't even manage to take the kids out for ice cream the 2 or three times a year they visit. The last time my dad picked up a check for a meal was before we had kids. When they visit, my mom spends most of the time reading and my dad sits in my recliner and watches youtube videos all day on his laptop. The kids will have a ball game or recital, and they'll stay at our house half the time because they're "too tired" or "don't feel well." We can't even get them to stay with the kids for a couple of days so that my wife and I can get away together.
Meanwhile, my 20yr old son turned down a job offer in another town because he wants to stick around and hand off his landscaping business to his younger brothers. He works 50-60 hr weeks at his blue-collar job and mows on his days off. Despite spending thousands of dollars on equipment over the years, he splits the profits evenly with his brothers. He wants to help set his brothers up for the future. He has no obligation to do so. That's why I let him live at home while he works hard and stacks cash for a down payment. My parents think I "spoil" him.
I'm going to retire this year, and my parents are under the impression that I will be helping them out with their money pit hobby farm 4 hours way. They don't understand why we won't move closer since I don't have to "work" anymore. Screw that. I'm mowing lawns with the boys.
Gotta say, from a purely financial and anti-fragility stand point, investing in the farm is the move for your boys. Controlling your food supply is the move. But if they're going to donate it to some immigrant resettlement program after you work on the place you're right to stay home.
Not an option. It's only 35 acres in arid country 4 hours away. Our home is here with our own anti-fragility setup (garden, hunting, and neighbor's beef). My parents have no desire to pass it down. They sold a 4th generation ranch 10 years ago as soon as my grandfather died so they could live their best life now. They have no intention of leaving anything behind except a pile of junk I'll sell for scrap when they die.
When my mom and my MIL recount their childhoods, I can understand why they went off the rails. My husband and I are young millennials and have Gen X parents and Boomer grands. My MIL let her mom watch my husband 1 time when he was 3 and someone called to say they saw him wandering the yard while Boomers were smoking Mary Jane in the house........
My dad's wife has admitted that she would not report CSA and would leave it up to the family and ecclesiastical leaders. When pressed about not reporting she said she believes God would 'make it right' and maybe would make it so the child doesn't feel it. She didn't specify if she meant physically or emotionally.
She also has real world experience with it given her sister got pregnant by a teacher while in high school. No amount of real world experience will change her mind. Needles to say, she isn't allowed any privacy with our kids.
Hateful to God and man.
May their judgment be swift.
May historians write their lesson forever so we learn from it and never do it again.