This post is for women married to Alphas, formerly married to Alphas, or formerly involved with Alphas to share their perspectives on those men who are, for good or ill, at the apex of the Socio-Sexual Hierarchy.
I’ve known more than a few Alphas, both situational and the real thing. My personal observation is that they tend to be more likely to divorce than most, they invariably marry younger, even more attractive second wives, and they give off an unmistakable air of social dominance that observably alters the behavior of men and women alike in their presence.
Alphas are not accustomed to being told “no”. So much so that they tend to remember, and respect, those who are willing to deny them. My game dev company once won a significant settlement in a legal dispute with a large game publisher, in part because one of the Alphas on their board of directors remembered me flat-out turning him down in a meeting when he asked me to take off my mirrored shades in a meeting because it bothered him to be unable to see my eyes.
It was a small thing, but it was sufficient to convince him, a few years later, that there was no way his much-larger company was going to successfully bully us into abandoning what was a sound defense of our contractual rights with nothing more than meaningless legal threats and posturing.
However, this post is not for men to post their experiences and opinions of Alphas, but for the women. Men, regardless of where you are on the SSH, please limit yourselves to commenting upon the women’s experiences.
Thanks to all the ladies who posted their stories. Fascinating.
Adding some information from the daughter of a pre-Boomer Christian Alpha. Although Clown-world is the territory now, men and women are building communities that reject it. It's useful to know what is possible.
Dad was the star quarterback, tall, handsome and popular. So loads of opportunity from the teen-age years on. Can't say if any were taken in his 20s. Can't speak to that. But in high school some losers tried to mock him and his crew as "goody-two shoes", for not screwing around, getting wild, and instead living clean, sober lives. What happened? By senior year the informal "two shoes" gang was the one every guy wanted to be in, and all the cheerleaders wanted to date them.
Two of his best friends and bravos went on to be a Hollywood star and co-founder of a successful company, respectively. Dad chose "leader of men" deliberately and succeeded in the military. Naturally, when he was finally ready to marry, he nabbed the hot young stewardess out from under the guy currently courting her. A side note: the first date was a logistics nightmare, and they ended up back at mom's parents' house. Mom cooked him a good breakfast and sent him back to base. Dad got the admiring assumption about his "hot stewardess date" and she found out later that he had shut them down hard.
And yet, I can confirm Mrs. Butterchurn's dread game: Mom would, despite all the evidence that Dad's personal honor was through the roof, get nightmares about him bringing home a second wife. Years later she figured out those dreams were about his command, and his men. Our family were always taken care of, he was the spiritual leader of our home, and yet over one six year period he was physically present less than two years. Mom had to be the perfect XO which meant taking on some of those teaching and leadership tasks for her kids that a Bravo or Delta husband would handle. Quality time is an emergent property of quantity time.
If Thackery (or the Crow for you Millennials) was correct and "“Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children," "Father" is how they understand Him once they're children and teens. All my dad's son-in-laws (two Deltas, one Bravo) admired, trusted, and respected him, as did his father-in-law. Dad was the model of honor and rectitude, he lived up to *his* father's rule "Work hard, seek knowledge, and uphold absolute standards of excellence".
On the other hand, none of his daughters went looking for Alphas. We all wanted to live with men who would put us a higher in their priorities perhaps. And we miss him dreadfully. His son-in-laws in particular. So it's possible that we girls weren't in the running for Alphas, but were pulling above our weight simply because we had the Dad we did.